Teaching Spike A Lesson
"Food, bed, food, bed, food, bed," Xander chanted quietly to himself as he made his way down
the stairs to his 'apartment.' Work had been long and boring as usual. There weren't many
people who wanted to purchase large home appliances at eleven o'clock at night. Why his
current boss wanted to keep the shop open until midnight was beyond comprehension. Unless
he was hoping to pick up the undead sales.
"Yeah, I can see that," Xander mumbled to himself. "'Hi, I'm Mr. Vampire and this is the little
missus, Zombie-woman. We're interested in purchasing a refrigerator to keep our vic-'"
Xander stopped abruptly, his foot half-on the second to last step, and stared in shock. Spike was
sitting on his couch, watching television. However, seeing the blond vampire there even after he'd
moved out months ago wasn't the true shocker.
It was seeing Spike sitting on the couch, watching television... and jacking off.
"Mmm, Xander," Spike purred.
Xander's eyes widened even further. Oh gods, he thought. Spike was jacking off while thinking
about him! Spike, the vampire, was thinking about him while jacking off in... his... basement...
The mortification Xander had felt disappeared in a second. He was being played for a fool.
Spike had probably heard him on the stairs and decided to have some fun at his expense.
Xander didn't bother to puzzle out why Spike was in his basement instead of skulking around a
cemetery somewhere. He was too pissed off to care. The blond vampire had invaded his home
without permission, was watching his television, and was spanking the monkey on his couch.
Another thought came to his mind. Spike was more-than-likely expecting him to storm in and
yell. Or to act flustered and embarrassed because of what the blond was doing.
A wicked smile curled up the corners of Xander's mouth. Well Spike, the brunette thought, it
ain't gonna happen. He was going to teach the biteless prick that Xander Harris wasn't someone
to mess with... at least, not more than a couple of times.
Xander sent up a quick thanks to Larry as he descended the last two steps. If it wasn't for the
gay jock, he would have been flustered and probably hightailing it in the other direction.
But, the night before high school graduation and the Mayor's ascension, he'd accepted Larry's
invitation to his bed. Anya had already vanished and it had been a high possibility that no one
would survive the ascension, plus everyone else had been with their significant others -- except
for Angel and Buffy because of that whole almost-draining her thing -- and Xander'd had no
Sex with Larry had been an experiment in carnal bliss. The jock already had thought Xander was
batting for the gay team so nervousness had been chalked up to the upcoming ascension. They'd
touched and stroked and had naughty fun that had left Xander aching in places that had never
ached before. And, in the light of what happened to Larry the following day, Xander hadn't
regretted a single moment.
Xander crossed the room and stopped in front of Spike. The vampire didn't stop stroking
himself as he looked up and gave the brunette a cheeky grin. "Xander, you're finally home,"
Spike said in a false-breathy voice. "Come give your lover a kiss."
Xander arched a dark brow, the only form of expression on his otherwise stoic face. Then,
without a word, he leaned forward, put his hands on either side of Spike, grabbed the back of the couch
and kissed the vampire.
Spike's mouth parted in shock at Xander's actions, which allowed the brunette to slip his tongue
into the cool cavern. Holy bloody crap!, Spike thought. He was being kissed by Xander!
The vampire's blue eyes widened as the youth's tongue slid along his palate, sensually tickling
him. He was motionless, frozen from surprise at what Xander was doing... and doing really well.
His cock swelled harder in his hand as Xander's tongue curled around his own with intent to
Spike wondered if the apocalypse was coming, because Xander's kissing him had to be a sign.
The mortal was supposed to be mortified at finding him tossing off, although that hadn't been
planned. Spike had wanted to watch television and, because the soldier jerks had broken his and
he knew Giles wouldn't let him back in, he'd come to the boy's house. It had been a bonus that
Xander had been at work, and the only reason he'd started to wank off was because the late night
movie had enough T&A to arouse him to the point of uncomfortableness.
Xander slowly pulled away from Spike, his lips lingering on the other man's until the last
possible moment. He opened his eyes and met Spike's stunned blue gaze. A small smirk tugged
at his lips.
"Hi Spike," Xander greeted lightly, satisfied at having obviously gotten to the obnoxious
vampire. Of course, he wasn't near through with Spike yet.
He straightened, pulled his shirt off over his head and tossed it in the general direction of the
washing machine before dropping down onto the couch beside Spike. He unfastened his
trousers and tugged them down only far enough to free his semi-hard shaft.
"So, what're we watching?" Xander asked as he wrapped his fingers around his cock and began
to stroke himself to full hardness.
Spike blinked owlishly at him.
Hell, if all it took was one little kiss to shut Spike up, he would have done it long ago, Xander
thought with a silent chuckle. Stretching his left arm out along the back of the couch, Xander
focused on the television, his hand lightly sliding up and down his shaft. After a brief moment,
he dropped his left hand down on the back of Spike's neck and started to gently knead the
Xander knew he should be nervous about blatantly taunting and exposing himself to the vampire
like he was doing, but, for some reason, nervousness wasn't even on the list of things he was
feeling. Amusement, satisfaction, cruelness, boldness and a healthy load of lust all made the cut,
but not nervousness or fear. Much later, he'd probably want to drown himself, but right then all
he really wanted to do was play mind games with Spike, no matter how far he had to go.
The brunette let out a fake sigh of dissatisfaction. "This isn't working," he said, stilling his hand
around his cock. He turned to the dumbfounded-looking vampire and tugged on the back of
Spike's neck. "Be a buddy and give me a blowjob, will ya?"
"Do what?!" Spike snapped out of his stupor at the boy's words.
Xander tugged a little more firmly. "Come on, wrap that cool mouth around my cock and show
me how good a vampire can suck."
"You want me to give you head?" Spike stared at Xander incredulously. This had to be a dream.
The cowardly whelp couldn't be propositioning him.
"That was the general idea," Xander replied. "If you do a good job, maybe I'll return the favor."
Now the boy was going to blow him?! Spike's jaw dropped open and he just stared at Xander.
"Is that a yes?" Xander asked, his eyes twinkling as he reached up and tapped Spike's open
Spike's jaw snapped shut and his eyes narrowed as he suddenly realized what was going on.
Xander was playing him, the right bastard. There was no way in hell the mortal really wanted a
job from him.
He had to give the boy credit though. It took brass knackers to taunt an enemy like that,
especially another male. Xander was as heterosexual as they could get, from what he'd seen.
Well, two could play at that game, Spike thought. A slow, seductive smile spread across his lips.
He knew exactly how to get Xander to flee.
"All right, pet," Spike said. "But let's sixty-nine it, eh? Mutual pleasuring's always more fun."
Xander shrugged and stood. "Sounds good to me. Get up so I can pull the bed out. The couch
isn't big enough and there's no way I'm laying on the floor."
Spike still didn't think Xander would do it as he helped to pull out the sofa bed and stripped his
clothing off. He raked his eyes over Xander's body as the brunette finished removing his own
It wasn't until they were both stretched out on the bed, face to groin, that Spike realized he was
completely wrong about everything.
"Oh fuck," the vampire groaned when he felt the warm tongue sweep the head of his shaft.
Xander chuckled and repeated his action, licking the top of the hard, pale cock in front of his
face. He'd been prepared for Spike suggesting something like this, and he knew it would blow
the vampire's mind if he actually participated.
He'd learned from his experiences with Larry that he liked giving and receiving head. It was
actually much easier with another guy because he knew exactly what felt good and what felt even
better when getting a blowjob. With women, he had to rely on gasps and wiggles, or in Anya's
case her blunt commentary, when it came to oral sex.
Xander licked Spike's cock until it was coated in saliva, his own shaft getting harder from what
he was doing and from the small noises the blond was making. He'd thrust his hips forward in a
moment to get Spike to reciprocate the pleasure, but first...
Spike thought he was going to burst into flames when Xander engulfed his shaft. The heat of the
boy's mouth was scorching and he let out a low whimper at the feeling. He hadn't had a human
suck his cock in decades and he'd forgotten how hot it felt.
"Hey, this isn't just a spectator sport," Xander said, shifting his pelvis. "This is full contact
Spike opened his eyes, closed them again with a groan when Xander sucked down on his cock,
then reopened them to look at the erection jutting towards his mouth. Xander's shaft was long --
much longer than his own, and his was not piddly -- and it was flushed dark with blood. Dark
curly hair surrounded the thick member and was sprinkled lightly over the heavy sac that rested
on the boy's inner thigh.
Xander moaned around Spike's shaft when the vampire enveloped his erection. Spike moaned
himself in reaction to the vibration caused by the brunette's moan, creating a circle of bliss that
only stopped when Xander ran out of breath.
Rain began to beat against the basement windows, covering the soft, wet sounds of sucking and
light groans of pleasure. The flickering television cast an unearthly glow the couple on the sofa-bed, highlighting their sweat-sheened forms.
Spike came first with a throaty growl, spilling his bittersweet essence into Xander's mouth.
Xander swallowed greedily, some of the cool, viscous fluid dribbling from between his lips. He
released the softening member only once he'd milked every last drop.
Xander opened his eyes and looked down his body to watch Spike continue his ministrations.
The brunette knew that the reason he was lasting longer than Spike had was because he'd built
up stamina due to Anya's constant desire for sex. That, plus the fact that the vampire probably
hadn't had a partner in awhile.
It was Spike's gentle questing finger at his hidden entry that finally sent him over the edge. He
climaxed with a low hiss and then shuddered when he saw the blond's Adam's apple bob as he
Spike turned around faster than the human eye could see and initiated a deep, hungry kiss.
Xander enthusiastically responded, tasting himself on Spike's lips as the vampire was
Their tongues clashed, thrusting and retreating within each other's mouths. Lips darkened and
swelled from bruising pleasure. Both human and vampire began to pant as lust was stoked anew.
"Can I have you, pet?" Spike rasped when he dragged his mouth from the boy's. He ran kisses
down Xander's jawline to his ear and sucked on the soft lobe. "Please?"
The vampire's roughly spoken entreaty all but turned Xander's bones to mush. He'd never
heard such need in anyone's voice before and, although it was just sex, the need was still for him.
Also, it was the nicest way anyone had ever asked to have sex with him. Faith had practically
jumped him -- not that he complained all that much -- Larry had basically said "we're probably
gonna die tomorrow, wanna have sex?", and Anya had wanted to interlock parts.
Xander had opened his mouth to answer affirmatively when Spike suddenly rolled onto his back
and pressed the heels of his palms over his eyes. "Fuck."
The brunette frowned, moved onto his side and propped his head up on his head. "I thought that
was the plan," he commented wryly.
"Xander," Xander corrected. "My name is Xander."
Spike snorted. "Xander," he emphasized, turning his head to look at the boy. "If I bugger you
and it hurts even the tiniest bloody amount, this thing in my head will go off."
"I guess I can see where that would ruin the mood," Xander said. He gave the vampire a half-smirk. "However, I can guarantee you it isn't going to hurt me."
Spike arched a skeptical brow. "Right. You've really got a string of blokes that are getting a leg
over on you nightly."
"No," Xander paused dramatically, "I have an Anya."
Spike looked at him a moment, then burst out laughing. Xander smiled at the completely malice-free sound. Oh yeah, he rocked. He made the evil vampire really laugh.
Chuckling himself at his thoughts, Xander climbed out of the bed and crouched beside the couch. He reached under it, dragged out a medium strongbox and popped the lock.
Spike peered over the edge of the bed and his eyes widened. "Bloody hell, you've got enough
sex toys there to start your own side business."
"Like I said, I have an Anya," Xander told him, shifting through the box. He pulled out a tube of
lubricant, tossed it at the vampire, then rooted around until he found the butt-plug he was
searching for. "Alright, pasty-ass, on your hands and knees."
Spike looked at him for a long moment and Xander wondered if things were going to get sour.
Then, the vampire silently raised himself up on his knees and held out the lubricant.
Xander wasted no time in taking the tube and climbing back onto the bed. He knelt beside Spike,
rather than behind the blond, and coated a finger with the lubricant. He set the tube down on the
mattress, rested one hand on Spike's lower back and gently slid the slick digit between the
Spike swore when he felt Xander's probing finger inside of him. It had been so long since he'd
been touched like that, even longer since it had been a non-forced encounter. He closed his eyes
and dropped his head to the mattress between his forearms as his passage stopped burning and
started to feel damn good.
He groaned when one finger became two, his body adjusting to thrusting digits. Then, Xander's
fingers curled and brushed against his prostate, and he stiffened and let out a strangled cry as
bolts of unbelievable pleasure shot through him.
Xander grinned and purposely caressed the inner gland again. Spike thrust back hard against his
hand, imbedding his fingers deep inside the vampire's tight body. It was the perfect time to trade
his fingers for the plug, and then to be thoroughly fucked.
Spike shot upright and wrapped his arms around Xander within seconds after Xander slid the
slicked plug into the vampire. The kiss the brunette received was full of passion and he could feel
Spike's erection jabbing into his stomach.
Spike pushed Xander back down onto the bed, pressing his body flush against the younger
man's as he continued the kiss. He couldn't seem to taste enough of Xander and the feel of the
brunette's warm tongue scraping against his own played havoc with his mind. All he knew was
that he needed to have this man -- this human -- and needed him so badly that if Spike had been
able to think it would've scared him.
The blond vampire was panting in a manner equal to that of Xander when he finally broke away.
Yellow-tinged blue eyes stared down into rich chocolate ones for several seconds before Spike
whispered roughly, "Can I have you?"
"Yes," Xander answered in a thick tone. "Yes."
And then Spike's hands were everywhere, touching, caressing, filling, stretching. One, two, three
lubed fingers entered Xander with a burning pleasure that left him trembling with desire. He
hooked his legs up onto the vampire's shoulders and let Spike touch him in the most intimate of
"Xander," Spike growled, the name rumbling across the television-lit basement as he sunk deep
inside the boy. His fingers dug into the mattress on either side of Xander and he slowly began to
pump, his steely shaft sliding in and out of Xander's so-very-hot passage.
Faster and faster he moved, his pelvis slapping against Xander's buttocks. With every hit he
whimpered, the sound expelling from between tightly clenched teeth. His lips were drawn back in
a vulpine snarl, his face teetering between smooth and ridged.
The world exploded into a light that burned Spike to the core when he climaxed. He let out a
low, animalistic snarl and bucked wildly against Xander as stream after stream of fiery pleasure
ran through his body. His face changed over completely, his yellow eyes wide and dilated, and
he shuddered long and hard as he came.
Xander didn't let Spike rest for one second after his orgasm. Moving quickly, the brunette
wiggled out from beneath the vampire, got behind him and pulled the butt-plug free with a pop.
Xander grabbed the lubricant and slathered his aching cock while listening to the vampire panting
loudly in a post-orgasmic daze.
Once coated, he tossed the tube off the side of the bed, spread the rounded, pale ass-cheeks
before him and pressed the weeping crown of his erection against the toy-stretched rosette. His
eyes crossed when he thrust forward and into Spike's channel, eliciting a loud moan from the
Xander wrapped his arms around Spike's middle and pulled him backwards so that he was
almost sitting on the brunette's lap. Xander's hands then dropped down to Spike's hips and he
began to raise and lower the vampire on his turgid shaft.
Soon, Spike was moving in tandem with him, the sofa-bed squeaking as the blond rode him hard.
Xander felt the heat inside of him start to boil. The delicious tightness squeezing his cock was
drawing his climax faster than any pussy ever did.
Xander spread his knees wider beneath Spike's, causing the vampire's legs to spread further
apart, as well. The brunette clenched his partner's hips convulsively when Spike let out a
strangled cry of pleasure as the shift caused Xander's cock to hit Spike's prostate head on.
Spike's inner muscles spasmed and Xander gasped, "Shit." White-heat speared up his shaft, his
sac lifting and tightening, and he came with long, hard bursts. His nails dug into Spike's hips as
the vampire thrust back against him several more times while muttering incoherently.
Spike abruptly pulled himself off of Xander, spun around on his knees and captured the boy's
mouth in a savage kiss. His tongue plunged between the other man's parted lips, inciting a fierce
battle with Xander's tongue. The kiss was long and brutal and left both men gasping when they
finally broke apart.
Xander allowed himself to fall bonelessly to the bed and he closed his eyes as he tried to catch
his breath and slow his pounding heart. His entire body was satisfactorily numb and he knew
that he would definitely sleep hard the rest of the night.
The pitter-patter of rain on the window and the quiet voices from the television soon invaded
Xander's senses. He opened his eyes and saw Spike still kneeling beside him. The vampire's
blue eyes were focused on him with an intensity that made him a bit nervous.
"What, do I have semen on my chin?" Xander asked, wiping at his mouth.
Spike snorted and shook his head, as if he couldn't believe Xander had asked that. He flopped
down onto the mattress beside the brunette and sighed contentedly. "That was fun, pet."
"Yes it was, livestock," Xander said.
Spike turned his head and frowned. "Livestock?"
Xander half-shrugged. "It's the only thing I could think of that's opposite of 'pet.'"
"Very cheeky, Xander," Spike said.
"Thanks, livestock," Xander said with a grin. Spike scowled at him and he chuckled. "Okay,
okay. No endearments about farm animals."
"No endearments, period," Spike said firmly. "I'm not your soddin' boyfriend because of this."
"I never said you were," Xander told him. The brunette rolled off of the bed and walked over to
where he kept his clothes. "I was horny and you were the one who was here, that's it."
"You mean to tell me that if you'd come home to Willow on your couch, you would've shagged
her?" Spike asked skeptically.
"No," Xander replied simply. He drew on a pair of boxers and headed for the stairs.
"Hey now, I was talking to you!" Spike sat up and glared at the boy. "No one walks away from
me when I'm talking!"
"Oh yeah, that's right," Xander's lips curled up into a smirk, "you're the big bad... who just got
fucked by a human male."
Spike's eyes narrowed. "I wasn't the only git who was fucked."
"Hmm, you got a point there." Xander tapped his chin in a mock-thought. "Well, I can chalk it
up to wanting to show you that you can't mess with me. What's your excuse?"
With that, Xander headed up the stairs to take a shower, leaving a stunned-looking Spike behind.