Down in the workshop
All the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls
And the good Gentile boys
"Spike?" Buffy stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the dining room, giving the
vampire setting the table a questioning look. "I thought I asked you to put in some Christmas
"I did," Spike said, standing back to check and see if the silverware was lined just right next to
the plate. He adjusted the knife straighter.
"This is not Christmas music."
When the boss busted in
Nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and
Cheap whiskey on his breath
"Is too," Spike insisted. He moved to the buffet to retrieve another plate, napkin and silverware.
"Is naaaargh!" Buffy threw her hands in the air. "You are the biggest pain in the neck."
Spike looked up and smirked at her. "Why thank you, pet."
From his beard to his boots
He was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled
"This goes off before they get here," Buffy warned, then headed back into the kitchen.
"But why?" Spike called after her. "This is good Christmas music!"
And he smiled as he said
With a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all -
Now you're all gonna die!"
Buffy rolled her eyes and continued putting the finishing touches on Christmas dinner. Everyone
was due to show up at her Mom's house shortly, including her mother, who was out doing some
last second shopping. She really should get her undead best friend to change the music, but she
had to admit, it was sort of fitting for the mismatched group about to arrive.
The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
The doorbell rang and Spike yelled, "I'll get it." Practically bouncing to the door, he threw it
open with a large smile on his face.
"Hi Spike," Willow greeted. "Ha-"
She was cut off by Spike grabbing her, bending her halfway over his arm, and plundering her
surprised, open mouth with his own. As abruptly as he kissed her, he straightened and released
Then he grabbed Oz, who was making one of his rare, angry facial expressions, and kissed the
werewolf just as deeply.
Well, the workshop is gone now,
He decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces
Of Cupid and Comet
Spike released the werewolf and stepped back to let the stunned couple enter. It was Oz who
noticed first. "Aah, mistletoe," he said, pointing up to the area just outside the front door. "Nice
"Thanks, mate," Spike said, the large grin still on his face. "I got to get my jollies somehow."
"Spike, can you come help me?!"
"'Scuse me," the vampire said. He gestured towards the living room. "Make yourself at home."
Willow and Oz exchanged rueful grins, hung up their winter coats and went into the gaily
decorated living room. They added their gifts to the pile under the tree -- the group of friends
were doing Secret Santa's this year -- then took a seat on the couch.
And he tied up his helpers
And he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph
Into reindeer sausage
"It sounds like Spike picked the music," Oz commented.
"You think?" Willow said.
He got Dancer and Prancer
With an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher
Just like Freddie Krueger
The doorbell rang again and, before Oz could rise to answer it, Spike came sliding down the
hallway on his green sock-clad feet. The two on the couch heard a loud shriek, then yelling, both
of which were cut off abruptly. A few seconds later, Spike sauntered past the living room entry
back towards the kitchen, then Anya and Xander joined Willow and Oz.
"Mistletoe," Oz said to the other couple.
"I had Spike's tongue in my mouth," Xander said, a slightly stupified look on his face. "His
And he picked up a flamethrower
And he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said,
"It tastes just like chicken!"
Next to arrive was Giles, who joined the four in the living room, flustered and slightly reddened.
"I say, Spike is-is certainly enthusiastic about the-the-the holidays this year."
"Maybe he's had too much Egg Nog," Willow suggested.
"Or he's horny," Anya said. "He is male, after all."
"Happy Holidays," Joyce greeted, coming into the living room, carrying a plate of appetizers.
"Can I get anyone something to drink?"
"Something that will take the feeling of Spike's tongue out of my mouth, please," Xander replied.
Joyce, whom had returned a short time ago and entered through the kitchen door, shook her
head. "Did he put the mistletoe above the door?" The five in the living room nodded.
The doorbell rang again and Joyce went to answer it, and almost got bowled over by the blond
vampire. "Oops, sorry, luv," Spike said, steadying the Slayer's mother. Then he opened the
door to see Cordelia, Doyle and Angel standing together. He grinned broadly, about to grab the
former cheerleader and give her something to cheer about, when Joyce put her hand on his
shoulder and squeezed tightly.
"Come in, please," Joyce invited, pulling Spike backwards as she stepped out of the doorway.
Spike stuck his lower lip out and mentally grumbled about his fun being ruined. Then Doyle
sneezed, his face erupting into short blue spikes, and the blond vampire quickly changed his tune.
"Eew, Doyle," Cordelia said, handing her coat to Joyce. "Cover your mouth. I don't want your
"Dorry," Doyle said, wiping his nose with a handkerchief. His face returned to human and he
smiled apologetically at Joyce and Spike. "I god a cowd."
"Oh, you poor dear," Joyce said. "Did you take any cold medicine?"
"I'm dwugged do da giws," Doyle replied. "Danks, dough."
The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts.
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without stepping in reindeer guts.
"Let me guess, you picked the music," Angel said to Spike.
Spike grinned at his sire. "Isn't it great?"
"I fear you."
There's the National Guard and the FBI
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy
The large group of friends gathered in the living room, minus Joyce and Spike, who'd been
conscripted into cutting the turkey, and happily chatted over the music.
Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doing time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
Dinner itself was a loud and boisterous affair, with good conversation, good wine, and good
feelings abound. They all ignored the music still playing on the stereo.
But now Vixen's in therapy
And Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs
Working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Clause
She's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating
The movie rights
Afterwards, the group returned to the living room. The Secret Santa gifts were passed out by
Buffy, who then sat down on the couch beside Willow. Ooh and aahs and thank yous were heard
as they went around the jagged circle they made.
Buffy and Spike were the last two to open their's and, surprisingly, they both received envelopes.
Buffy knew her Secret Santa was Angel, because he was the last one left, for she was Spike's
Carefully, she opened the red envelope and pulled out a card. On the front was a small, cartoon
bear, holding a bouquet of flowers. The words "I'm Sorry" were written across the front. Buffy
looked over at Angel, who's face reflected no emotion, with a questioning lift of her brow. When
he said nothing, and under Willow's nosy prompting, she opened the card.
Handwritten inside in Angel's beautiful script were two short sentences that brought tears to her
"I can't stop loving you," read the first.
And the second -- "My soul is forever."
Buffy's eyes shot to Angel and he nodded at the unspoken question. She pressed her lips
together for a moment, then moved her focus to her mother and Giles. "You're going to hate
this, but that's too bad. I love Angel, I never stopped loving Angel, and I won't ever stop loving
him. His soul is his, permanently," she told them. "And so am I."
"We already know, Buffy," Giles said.
"And I still think he's not right for you," Joyce said. "But it's not my decision to make. As long
as you're happy, I'm happy."
Buffy squealed in happiness and quickly went to hug both her mother and Giles. Then she threw
herself at Angel, almost knocking over the chair he was seated in. His arms went around her
waist, and she put her forehead his and looked deep into his eyes.
"I love you," she whispered in a tear-filled voice.
"I love you," Angel echoed, his own eyes filling with tears.
"How many of us are going to heave now?" Spike asked loudly. He raised his hand. Xander,
Doyle, Anya and Cordelia raised their hands as well.
"Spike, shut up and open your gift," Buffy said. Angel kissed her softly, then settled her on his
lap, he head resting against the crook of his neck, his arms tightly around her.
Spike shook his head in derision, then tore open his own envelope with little finesse. Inside he
found a flat, grey, credit-card sized piece of plastic with the number 253 on it. He frowned at it,
then looked over at Buffy. "What's this?"
"A room key for the Embassy," Buffy replied, referring to the new, swank hotel that had been
built in the next town over. "Go now, have fun, don't eat the staff."
Spike was out the door of the Summers' residence within five minutes. He sang off-key the
entire drive to the hotel.
They're talking bout - the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped
Outside of room 253, a note was taped to the door. Spike pulled it off and read it quietly to
"Spike," he read. "You have reservations aboard the Sea Maiden bound for Europe leaving on
Monday. Be on it, and don't come back to Sunnydale this time. Your help is no longer needed.
Spike felt as though he'd been staked. He crumpled up the note and threw it hard against the
opposite wall. His best friend of three years wanted him to leave and never return. Tears sprang
in his eyes, coinciding with the hurt he felt.
The elevator at the end of the hall dinged quietly and a couple came strolling, hand in hand,
towards him. He quickly turned and inserted the key card in the door to room 253, not wanting
anyone to witness his emotional reaction.
He stepped inside the room, closed the door behind him, and leaned back against it. He closed
his eyes tightly and suppressed a cry.
"She said you would come, but I was afraid you wouldn't love me anymore."
Spike's eyes shot open and saw a vision in black and red standing further in the room.
"Do you still love me, Spike?" Drusilla asked.
"Dru?" Spike whispered, his undead heart hammering in his chest, even though it was an
"That mean Slayer told me that I didn't deserve my Spike's love," Drusilla said. She glided over
to him and lightly touched the front of his shirt. "I can be bad enough, my sweet."
Spike stood there for another second, then slid his hand into the back of her dark hair and kissed
her passionately. She clung to the front of him, kissing him back with equal fervor.
He worshipped her that night and she worshipped him in return. And as the sun went down over
the horizon the following day, Drusilla kissed Spike tenderly and said softly, "I love you, my
"I love you so bloody much, Drusilla," Spike responded, tracing the side of her face with his
fingertips. "I missed you."
Drusilla smiled. "No more missing. Miss Edith says we're going on a big boat."
"That we are," Spike said, mentally thanking Buffy. "We're going back to Europe. Does that
sound good, ducks?"
"Yes," Drusilla answered dreamily. "We will have such fun, and the moon will howl in agony."
She looked coyly up at him under her lashes. "Would my Spike like to make his princess howl?"
Spike smiled, then bent to capture her mouth again, murmuring against her lips. "I think that can
As the kiss deepened and he began to love her again, an odd sound came to his ears. Bells, ho-ho-hoing, then machine-gun fire. He chuckled silently and wished the fat, jolly, trigger-happy
man a Merry Christmas.
Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain.
Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain.
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped...in his brain.