Evil Teddy Ruxpin

By Saber ShadowKitten
And Now For Something Completely Different 29

Buffy was not a happy camper.

The Slayer practically stomped as she made her rounds and tried to wash away her worries with good old-fashioned violence. So far, it wasn't working. And it was all Xander's fault.

Buffy still didn't want to believe that Xander -- her Xander -- was one of the bad guys now. But the facts all pointed that way. According to Willy, who she'd made certain was telling the truth, Xander and Spike -- Spike! -- were buddy-buddy, with Spike saying that Xander was the one in control. Then, Willy reported Xander beating up at least three demons and not even getting a scratch. Add those truths to Xander's sudden appearance and rude and abrupt departure from Giles's had led Buffy to become a very cranky girl.

Buffy's ears perked when she heard the distinctive sounds of fighting and she upped her pace. But when she rounded the boathouse at the docks, she came to a sudden halt. She rubbed her eyes, blinked, then sighed unhappily when the fighters didn't disappear. One portion of Willy's information was now substantiated: Spike was undead and well and kicking major ass in Sunnydale.

The demon Spike was fighting was actually kind of cute. It looked like a giant dayglow teddy bear, if teddy bears had five-inch fangs and six eyes. The fur was literally flying, though, and Buffy could see bald spots where Spike had torn out chunks of hair.

Buffy decided to let them fight and wait until only one was left standing, making her job easier for her. She leaned against the boathouse, comfortable in the shadows, and mentally dissected Spike's fighting technique as she watched.

Spike was very good. He used no real style, however; rather a mix of street fighting, kickboxing, and improvisational weapon use. Buffy could see why she'd had trouble with him in the past. She could tell Spike wasn't giving the fight his best effort, either, and he was still kicking big time hiney.

Then Spike made a mistake and Buffy wondered at the strange twist in her stomach. Spike turned his back to his opponent -- something you never do in a fight -- and bent to pick up a fishhook from the ground. The Evil Teddy Ruxpin wasn't as injured as Spike apparently thought. The furred demon picked up its own weapon, a hollow metal pipe, raised it and bashed it down on top of Spike's head as the vampire straightened.

Buffy gasped, her eyes widening, but not because Spike's brains were splattered on the pavement. Instead, she was staring incredulously at the metal pipe... which had bent in the shape of Spike's head like in a cartoon.

Spike didn't seem to care about the bent metal or the fact his skull should've been smashed in. He stumbled slightly, then pivoted on his heel and glared at the other demon. He brought the fishhook around in a wide swing and gutted the bad teddy. The bent pipe rang when it hit the pavement. The dead demon simply 'thumped.'

Spike tossed the fishhook away, then manhandled the furry corpse to the edge of the dock. The dead body made a loud splash as he went to join Davy Jones' final resting place.

Buffy stayed in the shadows, unmoving, as Spike looped a bag over his shoulder and casually walked away. Only then did she venture out. She retrieved the metal rod and examined it closely. It was a standard metal pipe, nothing magickal or flimsy about it.

Buffy cast a worried look in the direction Spike had gone. She had a very bad feeling about this.