Nothing Like A Good...

By Saber ShadowKitten
And Now For Something Completely Different 31

Wednesday, August 30, 2000

Lilac was a merman. And, incidently, a very good lay.

Xander hadn't met any merfolk before. The only one he was familiar with was Ariel from Disney's The Little Mermaid. Good flick. Sebastian reminded him of Giles, and Xander still kept hoping that Ariel's shells would get washed away by a strong wave.

According to Lilac, once upon a time, a fish fell in love with a human, fins and limbs combined, and under daddy's shotgun they were married in a cozy oceanside ceremony. Months later, the merfolk were born. Xander hadn't cared much about the history of the merfolk, but listening about it had ended with him getting laid again.

Had he mentioned Lilac was a good lay?

The day passed in laughter intermingled with passionate curses and breathy moans. Lilac was an ardent merman, and Xander was happy to bend over and take it. And initiate it. And participate in it. "It" was very, very good. Xander enjoyed Lilac immensely, over and over again.

Aren't I the little slutboy?, Xander thought with a grin, raising a hand in a casual wave. Lilac returned the goodbye and disappeared beneath the ocean's surface.

Xander felt better. Much, much better. Nothing like a good fuck to cure what ailed him. Next time, he wouldn't wait so long; he'd strip Spike down and...


Xander fell onto his bare ass in the soft sand. No, no, no. He did not just think of Spike on his knees, proving how well a vampire could suck.


Xander flopped onto his back, arms outspread in a mock crucifixion. His eyes searched the dark gray soup that made up the night sky, looking for his brain which seemed to have floated off.

He did not want Spike like that. Really. Tracing the ridges of Spike's spine with his tongue as Spike arched beneath him was not something Xander fantasized about. Really.

No, really.

Xander's laugh was more of a groan. There'd be too many complications in bedding Spike. Xander needed a helpmate, not a bedmate. Besides, he had a steadfast rule about those he slept with: he had to actually like them. He couldn't stand Spike a majority of the time, which was why they normally went their separate ways at night, mainly keeping touch by cell phone if necessary.

"Lilac, come back," Xander called weakly. The tension that had disappeared returned with a vengeance, accompanied by a fierce headache.

This was so not good.