By Saber ShadowKitten
And Now For Something Completely Different 34

Friday, September 1, 2000

"Well, well, well, looky here," drawled a tall, bulked-up male to his similar-looking friends. "We found ourselves a couple of fags polluting our beach."

Spike looked at the four men standing on the beach as he and Xander emerged from the ocean. In warning to play along, he felt Xander squeeze his hand -- the boy had not let go, as promised, allowing Spike to somewhat overcome his fear of the... undertow.

"Fags, huh?" Xander scratched his chin with his other hand and glanced unconcernedly at Spike. "I guess I'm one of those from time to time. What about you?"

"When I have an itch," Spike confirmed. Xander was taunting the four gay-bashing jocks, which took balls, considering he and Spike were both naked and holding hands. Spike was impressed.

"Your kind make me sick," the jock spat. His friends nodded and punched their fists in agreement.

"Then this should make you puke up your mama's juices," Xander said in an exaggerated western drawl.

Then, Spike was suddenly being kissed.

Xander used their clasped hands to pull Spike around, snagged the back of Spike's hair with his other hand, and crushed their mouths together. Spike hadn't expected it and he was frozen in shock, eyes wide, as his brain tried to process the fact that Xander was kissing him. Xander. Was. Kissing. Him. And that wasn't all that was happening.

White-blue bands of electricity began to wrap around them both, forming a cocoon of visible energy. Spike could feel the bands tingling, but no more than what he normally felt when Xander "pushed" electricity under Spike's skin. Spike could see that Xander's eyes were open, too, and glowing brilliant white behind his sunglasses, their mirrored surface doing little to hide the glow. And although he couldn't see it, Spike could feel tiny bolts of electricity dancing between their mouths as the kiss went on and on.

If this was what happened every time Xander kissed someone, Spike would have puckered up long ago.

Before the electric cocoon had fully formed, Xander was abruptly ripped away and flung to the sand by one of the jocks. Spike blinked dumbly, wondering what just happened, and found himself flying awkwardly through the air. The jocks were not human, he mentally noted before belly-flopping on the ocean's surface.

He squealed like a girl, sucking in an oceanfull of water as the undertow pulled him beneath the surface. Panicking, Spike flailed his arms and legs as he was tumbled end over end by the strong undercurrent. Xander's lessons went right out of his head. He was going to be sucked out to sea, forever lost, dying from starvation in a weightless, black world. Unless he got lucky and a shark thought a vampire would make a tasty meal.

Spike felt himself being pulled further and further from shore, and his last rational thought was, that at least he'd gotten one hell of a goodbye kiss.