The First Time

by Saber ShadowKitten

Cordelia entered the door to her house, slamming it behind her. "Men!" she growled. "I cannot believe that Xander Harris! First he’s all smoochies with me, then suddenly he has to leave and he just gave me that lame excuse! He couldn’t even lie to me without stuttering! That...that...geek!!!"

Cordelia stormed into the kitchen and grabbed a Coke from the fridge. "That lying, weaseling, badly dressed, little twerp! I bet he went off to help his precious Buffy again. It’s not like I’m useless you know! I can look things up in a book, I can use the computer, I can brainstorm just as good as the rest of them!"

She grabbed her books and her purse from where she tossed them and started up to her room. "Lucky for me my parents are out of town, again, or I’d be given the third degree and I do not need that right now. Right now what I really need is one of Buffy’s stakes, to turn Xander to dust!"

Cordelia glanced at her slim, gold watch. 8:00 p.m. "I think I’ll take a nice, long bath and watch a good movie about women beating men into a bloody pulp. Terminator 2 is a good movie along those lines. And Linda Hamilton back then had a great physique. If only I worked out more..."

Cordelia entered her bedroom and noticed something was wrong. Really wrong. Her shades were drawn and the lace curtains closed. There were a multitude of candles lit on various surfaces of the room. Soft music was coming from her stereo. Country, it sounds like. On her nicely made up bed was a single, peach-colored rose and an envelope with her name on it.

Cordelia put her books and her purse on the desk and went over to the envelope. Opening it up, she sat on the edge of her bed and began to read.

My dearest Cordelia~

So far, we have been through a lot together. The bug man, Angelus, Amy’s spell, demons and vampires galore. And those were and are the easy ones. I have watched you fight your friends and lose them because of me and I know that it hurt you greatly, even though you try not to show it. I know how hard you try to fit in and be friends with Willow, Buffy and Giles. I know that you feel you are unable to contribute as much as you would like when we do research. I know all this, and yet, I am proud to be with you because you do not show your pain. You hold your head high and fight to belong.

I am proud to have you as my girlfriend. You are sweet, generous and kind, even though you loath to admit it. You are a perfect match for me, giving as much as receiving. We are two proud individuals, from different worlds, who go together like peanut butter and jelly (or in my case, pickles). We stand up for each other, not letting our peers split us apart. We have been there for each other, in good times, bad times, and really bad times. I will continue to be there for you.

What I really want to tell you is that I love you, Cordy. I love your mind, your spirit, your courage, your wit and your beauty. I love being with you, sitting and holding you close, talking with you, sparring with you, or making out in our closet. I just plain love you.

Love, (I hope in return),


Xander stood in the doorway, watching Cordelia read the letter, nervously holding his breath, his heart pounding so hard he was afraid Cordelia would hear it. He worked the whole week on that letter, revising it over and over again. He thought about all the preparation that had gone into this night. Finding out when her parents would be out of town. Candles. The rose. The letter. All for this one very important night. The night he let her know that he love her.

It was funny, really, Xander thought, watching the play of the candlelight on Cordelia’s hair. He had to get into a fight with her in order to set this up. Boy, was she steamed when she got home! He hoped, boy did he hope, that this will make up for that.

Cordelia sat with tears in her eyes as she finished the letter. She heard a noise at the door and looked up. Xander was standing there, dressed really nicely in her opinion, with a dark, button down shirt and Khakis. He smiled that goofy smile of his. "May I come in?"

Cordelia nodded her head, smiling brightly at him. Xander entered the room and sat next to her on the bed. "Well?" he asked.

"Oh, Xander, you are the sweetest, handsomest, wonderful-est man!" Cordelia threw her arms around Xander and hugged him tightly.

"I take it this means you liked my letter?"

"Liked it? Xander, I more than liked it." Cordelia released him and looked deeply into his eyes. "Xander, I love you, too."

Xander smiled shyly at Cordelia and kissed her with all his heart. He pulled her close to him, feeling her heartbeat against his chest. Cordelia ran her hands through his silky hair, loving the feel of it on her palms.

Tonight was the most important night of her life, Cordelia thought, and this was the man that she wanted to be with, now and forever. She pulled Xander back onto the bed with her, not breaking contact. They kissed some more, even deeper than before.

Suddenly, Xander stopped kissing Cordelia. "What?" she asked. "What’s wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," Xander replied. He picked up the rose, ran it along her cheek and put it on the nightstand. "I just didn’t want to be stabbed by a thorn at an inopportune moment." Cordelia smiled at him.

Xander leaned down and began kissing Cordelia again, light kisses on her forehead, her nose, each of her cheeks, before returning to her lips. Oh, those beautiful, soft lips, Xander thought. So full from kissing.

Xander moved from her lips to her neck, kissing and nibbling along the column of her throat. Cordelia gasped in pleasure, moving her hands up and down his back, loosening the shirt he wore until her hands were on his bare skin. Just the touch of his skin brought excitement and pleasure to him. She pulled him close and began kissing him again.

Xander was loving the feel of Cordelia’s hands on his back, so much that he wanted his shirt out of the way. He started to unbutton his shirt, but Cordelia stopped him, without stopping the kiss, and unbuttoned it for him. She pushed the shirt aside and ran her hands along his chest and abs, feeling the play of muscle tensing as she moved.

Xander inhaled sharply as she did this, breaking the kiss. Cordelia looked into his eyes and smiled, loving the effect she was having on him. This was so wonderful, she thought as she finished taking off Xander’s shirt. She looked at his muscled chest and felt butterflies in her stomach. He was so handsome! When she saw him in the swimsuit that one time her jaw almost hit the floor, but being this close was entirely different.

Cordelia bent down and kissed his chest, over his heart, causing Xander to jump a little. Cordelia smiled at that and continued her exploration of his chest, feeling it, kissing it, nipping him.

Xander groaned under her ministrations, running his hands through her long, dark hair. Unable to take it any longer, he pulled Cordelia up on top of him, kissing her thoroughly, leaving her breathless. He unbutton her shirt and then ran a finger down the middle of her chest. He put his hands around her waist under her shirt, feeling her smooth skin. "Cordelia," Xander murmured, "you feel so good."

Cordelia wanted Xander to touch her, so she stopped kissing him and sat up straddling him. She smiled down at him as she pulled off the rest of her shirt. Her bra quickly followed.

Xander gasped out loud when Cordelia took off her bra. Never in a million years did he think this was ever going to happen. But then again, who would of thought that he would ever love Cordelia Chase?

"You’re beautiful," Xander said softly. "More beautiful than I ever imagined." Xander pulled her back down and kissed her again, passionately.

It can’t feel any better than this, Cordelia thought, feeling her bare skin against Xander’s. Little lightning bolts were shooting up and down her body each time Xander ran his hands along her back. He never wanted this to stop.

Xander suddenly held on to Cordelia tightly and turned them over, so she was underneath him. Then he proceeded to kiss down her body as she did to him only moments before. He then went back to her mouth, kissing her hard.

Xander pulled away from Cordelia. "Cordelia," he whispered. "Do you want me to go on? I am almost past the point of no return."

Cordelia took a deep breath and held it, gazing into Xander’s brown eyes. She was never more sure of anything in her whole life. "Yes, Xander. Please, don’t stop."

Xander inhaled deeply at Cordelia’s response, feeling his heart catch. Even if she said no, he would still be the happiest man in the world, he thought as he unbuttoned her pants. Soon they were on the floor along with her panties, his pants and his briefs.

Xander looked over every inch of Cordelia’s body, loving the way the candlelight was playing on her skin. Cordelia started to blush from his perusal, but taking the time to look him over as well. Oh, my!, she thought and started to blush even more.

"Cordelia, what is it? Why are you blushing? You must know that you are the most beautiful creature on the face of the Earth," Xander said, looking tenderly upon his love.

"Oh, Xander, just come here and love me," Cordelia replied, pulling him down to meet her.

Cordelia felt like every nerve in her body was on fire. Xander positioned himself above her and asked one more time, "Are you sure? Because I don’t want to hurt you for anything."

Cordelia’s response was to smile up at him and arch her hips, accepting him fully into her. They both groaned deep in their throats at the immense pleasure. Xander started to move in her as Cordelia felt his muscles in his arms, his neck and his back, all moving to bring her such joy.

Xander loved the feel of Cordelia wrapped tightly around him, accepting him. He could see a fine sheen of perspiration on her body, making him more excited. He brought his head down and kissed her as brought them to the edge.

They both went over at the same time, colors burst behind their eyes as waves and waves of never ending pleasure stole over them. Xander could feel Cordelia shake under him, feel her convulsing all around him, making him feel so good that he could bring her such pleasure.

After the waves slowed down, Xander pulled out of Cordelia and took care of the condom. He then brought Cordelia close to him and held her, stroking her hair, allowing the feeling of love to wash over him. He kissed her hair.

Cordelia sighed into Xander’s chest, snuggling up against him. She felt complete. "Xander, I love you."

"I love you, too, my sweet Cordy. And I am sorry we got into a fight earlier today. I just didn’t know how to get over here to set this up without you knowing it…"

"Xander, you dweeb! There’s no need to apologize for having to leave to set this up! In fact, I’d gladly fight you everyday if I knew I’d have this to come home to every night!"

Xander smiled into her hair. That's my Cordy, he thought lovingly. He then picked her up and stood her on the floor so that he could unmake the bed. "My parents think that all the Slayerettes are crashing here tonight, so that I could stay, no matter what we did," he said, starting to blush.

"Oh, Xander, you’re so sweet," Cordelia replied, then climbed into the bed with him.

Xander pulled her close to him, feeling her warm skin against the length of his body, with one leg and one arm draped over him. After awhile, he whispered, "I love you, Cordelia." But she had already fallen asleep.

{The next day}

"Omph…Buffy…Ooh…I think…umph…that’s enough," Giles said between kicks.

Buffy stopped her workout and smiled at Giles. "I’m gong to have to get a new punching bag, Giles. You’re getting too worn out."

"Yeah, Giles," Willow said, not looking up from the keyboard in the library. "All your stuffing is going to come out." She snickered.

Buffy and Oz, who was reading one of many Giles’ books, laughed.

"What’s so funny?" Xander asked, as he and Cordelia joined the gang in the library. "Did Giles start singing rap songs again?"

Giles grimaced at the thought as everyone laughed. "Yes…well…um…what about you two? How is it that you two are so late in arriving? I thought we were planning to meet at 10?"

Xander and Cordelia suddenly stopped moving. Xander opened his mouth and closed it a couple of times before. Cordelia looked at the floor. "Um…," Xander said, starting to turn a very bright shade of red.

Everyone looked at the two of them. "Cordelia? Xander? Come on, what gives? Were you two locked in the closet again?" Buffy asked, grinning.

"You better believe it!" Cordelia suddenly said, moving away from Xander. "This buffoon had the nerve to get me trapped in there with him, on a Friday night no less!"

Xander looked strangely at Cordelia for a moment before catching on. "Yeah, I really wanted to spend my Friday night with the Snob-Queen of Sunnydale. It was enough that I didn’t strangle her with her designer strappy shoes."

"Looks like everything is normal," Willow said to Oz, as Xander and Cordelia went back and forth with the insults.

"Boy, for a moment there, I thought those two had a little very close encounter with the bed sheets," Buffy said to Willow and Oz. They thought about that for a moment, then burst out laughing.

The End