Want, Need, Love

by Saber ShadowKitten
I Hated You Because... 5

Spike sputtered when water hit his face, and he blinked his eyes open to see his Sire standing in front of him, glass in hand.

"Hello, Will," the dark-haired vampire said, one corner of his mouth quirking up in a slow, wicked smile. "Welcome back."

"What the bloody hell...?" Spike half-asked, half-growled, tugging on the manacles that were around his wrists. The chain attached to the manacles was looped over an exposed beam in the ceiling of the older vampire's apartment, and he was barely supporting himself on the balls of his bare feet. He was completely nude, save for the old cigar band around his right, middle finger.

He couldn't remember how he came to be in this position. The last thing he did recall was turning to take off his duster when he arrived at his Sire's, then a sharp sting in the back of his neck. Then nothing.

"You're probably wondering what's going on, aren't you, Will?" the older man said. He put a finger up to his pursed lips and tapped it several times. "Hmm. I have a choice. I can either tell you," he turned, set the glass down on a table behind him, and picked something else up, "or show you."

Spike stared at the narrow tip long crop with something akin to fear. He was all for S&M games, but the type of crop that his Sire held was for serious whipping. "Angelus, wha-"

The blond was stunned to silence by the crack of the crop across his left cheek. It had cut his skin and he could feel blood trickling down the side of his face. He returned his eyes to the other vampire and found his Sire's dark eyes filled with malicious glee. "Angelus?" he whispered in a questioning voice.

The crop connected with his other cheek and his head snapped to the right. He held his head still for a moment, closing his eyes and pursing his lips as he tried to figure out what was happening. But with the next words out of his Sire's mouth, he knew, and there was nothing he could do to prevent what was coming.

"Will, Will, Will, such a softy you turned into," the dark-haired vampire said. "In love with your very own Sire. And maybe with that pesky soul, I loved you back." Angelus grabbed Spike's chin and forced the blond to look at him. "Have I told you how sick love makes me feel?"

Spike's nostrils flared as he tried to withhold the tears that threatened due to the pain in his heart. Brown eyes bore into his, unholy eyes full of evil and promise of extreme agony. Spike wondered if he would live throughout the night. Later, he would wish that he wouldn't.

Angelus released Spike's chin, stepped back, and cracked the crop against the younger vampire's left cheek again. "So, Will. Nothing to say?"

"Fuck off," Spike spat, tugging at his restraints.

"Ah, but that's what I got you for," Angelus said. He raised the crop with an evil smile. "But first, I think I'd better teach you some manners."

The blows came rapidly and without pause, overlapping each other and drawing blood. Spike bit his lower lip hard to keep from crying out in pain as Angelus cracked the crop down on his bare skin. His neck, his back and chest, his arms and legs, his hands and feet, nothing was spared the sharp sting of the narrow tip on the crop, not even his genitals.

Angelus laughed when he stopped, the crop clattering to the ground. Spike didn't want to open his eyes. He didn't want to know what was next.

He couldn't prevent a sharp intake of breath when he felt his Sire's tongue sweep along one of the cuts. "Mmm, tasty," Angelus said. "But it could use some lemon, don't you think?"

Spike cried out uncontrollably when a stinging liquid was poured over his skin, washing the blood away. He yanked on the chains hard, using all of his weight to try and free himself. Then he felt the smash of a bottle on the back of his head, the glass breaking and showering down around him, and he stopped.

"Fucker," he gasped, prying his eyes open to see Angelus holding the remains of a green, lemon juice bottle. "I'm going to stake you, bastard."

Angelus arched a dark brow. "Really? Well, then I guess I'd better get moving. I want to be able to finish hurting you before you stake me."

The dark-haired vampire set the broken bottle down on the table against the wall and picked up a thick, leather collar to wrist restraint. He moved behind Spike and attached the collar around the blond's neck and centered the two-inch wide strap down his back. One wrist, then the second was latched into the cuffs, with Spike's arms bent up behind his back.

Then Spike was on his knees, his face pressed to the floor, and he was screaming in pain as something sharp was rammed up his hole again and again. He felt as though he was on fire and his guts were being ripped out of him. His Sire stopped as abruptly as he began and something clinked on the floor by his side.

"I think you're lubricated enough," Angelus said conversationally from behind him.

Spike could feel the blood pouring from him, then he cried out in pain again as his Sire entered him with his thick, hard cock. Tears streamed from behind his closed eyes, wetting the floor beneath his face, as Angelus pounded into him. The tender tissue of his inner walls were torn and bruised even further with every thrust his Sire made.

Angelus grunted and pulled out of him, and Spike bit his lower lip again. He heard his Sire move, then his head was yanked up by his hair. "Look at me, you stupid boy," Angelus ordered. He shook Spike roughly by his hair. "Look at me!"

Spike opened his eyes and saw Angelus' cock directly in front of his face. He raised his red, teary gaze to his Sire and let him know with one look that if that cock entered his mouth, he'd bite it off. However, Angelus didn't try to force the thick member down his throat. Instead, he stroked himself a few times then shot his semen all over Spike's face as he orgasm.

Angelus released his head and Spike's cheek hit the floor hard. He heard his Sire stand, then he fell onto his side with the sharp kick to his ribs by a thick boot. A second one quickly followed, and he curled up into as much of a ball as he could with his arms strapped behind his back.

"What's wrong? Can't you take it, Will?" Angelus asked mockingly. "You used to be able to take anything I dished out. Now look at you. A quivery, crying wuss."

Spike kept his eyes closed, trying to ignore his Sire's taunts. "You know, I wonder what I ever saw in you," Angelus continued. "You're headstrong and you take stupid risks. You couldn't fight yourself out of a paper bag. You're the lousiest lover. Hell, you're not even good enough to lick my boots. A childe like you is a waste of a demon."

Spike felt his Sire kneel down behind him and forcefully rip the cigar band off his finger. Then his hair was grabbed again and Angelus shook him. "Open your eyes," the older vampire ordered. Spike opened his eyes and saw the band held between his Sire's fingers before he moved his gaze to Angelus'.

"I never really loved you," Angelus said softly. "My souled self was still madly in love with Buffy. You were just a convenient fuck because I couldn't have her. Why do you think it took magick to get rid of that annoying soul when one moment of true happiness would break the curse?"

The cigar band was crushed between a strong finger and thumb. "I'm done pretending, Will. I don't want anyone ever knowing that I made you. It's embarrassing."

Angelus released Spike and the blond vampire's head fell back to the floor again. Spike stared blankly at a spot across the room, the inside of his mouth filled with blood from biting the inside of his cheek. His heart was shattered, his whole world was ending and he wished his Sire would just stake him and be done with it.

The dark-haired vampire pushed him onto his back, his hands crushed somewhat painfully under him. The chains hung from the beam above his head and he counted the links as his Sire shoved his legs apart. He felt Angelus' hand on his cock, lifting the flaccid length up. Then his Sire sank his fangs into Spike's balls and a scream of pain ripped from him...

Spike sat up straight in bed, the sheet pooling around his naked waist. His eyes flitted wildly around the room, landing on the furnishings that were familiar, recognizing that it was his bedroom. The clock on the night-stand told him it was nearing sunset. He was gasping for unneeded breath, but he couldn't control it.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Spike looked next to him on the bed and saw his Sire blinking sleepily up at him. Uncontrollable, his body started to shake after a chill ran down his spine. "N-Nightmare," he said, his teeth chattering noisily.

Angel turned on his side facing Spike and lifted the sheet in invitation. "Come here," the dark-haired vampire instructed softly. Spike moved into his Sire's protective embrace, spooning his body to the front of Angel's. He couldn't stop shivering.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Angel asked. Spike hadn't had a nightmare in a long time. Not since he dreamed about the sharks from their Island adventure.

"No," Spike replied shortly. He clutched the arm around him and closed his eyes. He felt Angel brush a kiss on his neck, then picked up the faint rumbling of a soothing purr from the vampire behind him.

Angel was concerned and the protective instinct inside of him was acting up, wanting to hurt whatever was hurting his childe. But since it was all in Spike's mind, he did what he could to soothe the younger man.

Spike's shaking stopped, and he laid there in his Sire's arms, turning over the nightmare in his mind. Dreams always meant something or were in reaction to something. This nightmare was pretty easy to pick apart. He was afraid of Angel losing his soul. He was afraid that he wasn't really wanted by the dark-haired man that meant everything to him. He was afraid he wasn't good enough for his Sire.

He growled at himself and pulled away from Angel. He sat up and switched on the night-stand lamp. He squinted for a moment until his eyes adjusted, then he looked down at Angel, who had propped his head in his hand and was watching him.

"Can I do anything?" Angel asked him, concern in his brown eyes. He wasn't sure what Spike wanted him to do, so he would follow his childe's lead.

"You can tell me to stop acting like such a whiny nancyboy," Spike told him.

"But you're kinda cute when you act like a-"

"Don't finish that if you value your knackers, mate."

Angel chuckled, then feel silent when Spike looked away. His childe was feeling embarrassed by not being in control, and that was understandable. Spike had always wanted to play the tough guy, even though the blond was a big softie.

Spike suddenly rolled up onto his knees on the bed, grabbed the tube of lubricant off the night-stand and smeared some on his cock, stroking it to hardness. His eyes met the dark-haired vampire's again as he pushed Angel down onto his back.

Spike moved between Angel's legs, slipped his still slick fingers into the older man's tight hole, preparing him. Then he pushed Angel's legs back, hooking his Sire's knees with his elbows, and he slid his hard cock into Angel's ringed entry. They both inhaled sharply at the sensation and, after a moment, Spike began to move.

"Do you want me, Angel?" Spike said quietly after a few minutes of silence, save for the sounds of lovemaking.

Angel knew instantly that Spike didn't want just a simple yes. Something about Spike's nightmare had shaken his faith in the older vampire's feelings, and Angel felt an ache in his heart for his childe. "Yes, I want you," he replied equally as quiet. "And only you. I want you to touch me and fill me and kiss me. I want you to make love with me and only me."

Spike growled softly and bent his head to lick Angel's neck. His thrusts were long and slow, and the older man's hands were brushing along his back. "Do you need me, Angel?" he asked, nuzzling Angel's neck.

"Yes, I need you." Angel's hands went up into Spike's soft hair. He again added to his statement, trying to reassure his childe of his place in Angel's life. "I need you to argue with me. I need you to do reckless stunts that make me want to throttle you. I need you to tell me when I'm brooding too much. I need you to make me laugh. I need you to need me."

Spike raised his head and looked down into Angel's eyes, his hips moving faster as he came closer to orgasm with his Sire's words. "Angel," he whispered, then licked his lips and continued past his uncertainty. "Angelus, do you love me?"

Angel ran his thumb down the side of Spike's cheek. "You are my world, Spike. I don't tell you enough how much you mean to me," he said softly. "I love you, Will, my beautiful childe. I love you."

Spike lowered his head and captured Angel's mouth in a deep kiss, his body shaking for a different reason. He felt the pressure building and he broke away to whisper, "I love you, Sire."

Angel felt his heart clench at his childe's softly spoken words. Spike was telling him that he wanted to belong to the dark-haired vampire. The younger man had worn the cigar band since Angel had put it back on his finger, but he had never specifically reciprocated Angel's claim of him.

"Oh, Will," Angel said tenderly. He met Spike's eyes for a moment, then tilted his head to the side, offering his blood. When the bite came, he held his childe's head to him, as Spike drank and climaxed at once.

Spike pulled out of Angel and released his legs, but continued to lay on top of the dark-haired man. He had removed his fangs after he came, but he continued to lick the area of the bite. In the lamp-lit bedroom, he was closer to his Sire than he'd ever been before and he didn't want to do anything to upset that feeling quite yet.

Eventually, however, the hard erection that was pressed against his abdomen pulsed with need and he raised his head to look down at Angel. "I think someone is still needing some attention, eh?"

"I'm fine," Angel told him.

"You're hard as a bleedin' rock, mate, and I don't fancy seeing what blue balls look like first hand, so if you don't mind..." Spike gave Angel a devilish grin. "Name your position."