Evil Nasty Story
Spike stared at the stars in the moonless night sky, Carl Sagan's voice in his head saying "billions
and billions." It could have also been the Everclear he'd finished off, but that would have made
sense. And the peroxide-blond vampire was feeling anything but sensible.
"Tell us a story, Schpike," a slurred, female voice asked from somewhere beside him.
"What kind?" Spike said, lifting up his hand and closing one eye. He put his thumb over the
North Star. "Gone," he moved his thumb, "there," he moved it again,
"Evilnastystory," a male voice replied, his words running together. He giggled.
"Didn't we jus' live an evil nasty story?" Spike inquired, dropping his hand to his chest. It
thumped hollowly against his breastbone beneath his tee-shirt.
"Yup," another female replied. "But we wanna hear a schtory 'bout evilnasties done to
"To him?" a second male tried to clarify.
"Yes!" three drunk voices answered.
Spike let his head loll to the side and he saw Buffy and Willow lying head-to-head, their hair
touching. His blood-shot eyes traveled down the hacker's body and found Oz resting his blue
head on her stomach. When he slowly turned his head the other way, he saw Xander lying on
his back waving his hands in the air in a random pattern. The vampire quickly closed his eyes
before he became nauseous, therefore he missed seeing the dark-haired vampire standing nearby,
keeping watch on the drunk fivesome as per a worried Giles' request.
Behind his closed lids, his mind painted a memory that he'd rather have forgotten, but since his
equally sloshed slaying chums wanted to hear a nasty story about him, he'd give them one they
wouldn't forget. "I got one for me mates that's right evil," he began, opening his eyes to stare
sightlessly at the sky.
"Round about the time the great poof was minus 'is good wittle soul, I was in this bloody
wheelchair because of some bitsch..."
"Thasme!" Buffy exclaimed. Willow clapped.
"I's tellin' a story 'ere," Spike growled.
"Sorry," the two girls chorused, then giggled.
"Right then." Spike cleared his throat dramatically and went on. "Well, Buffy the Bitsch made
me all 'urt an' I wasn't able to use me legs. One night, Angel-fucking-lus took my Dru out an'
left me there at the mansion all by me lonesome."
"Aww, poor babwe," Xander cooed.
Spike flicked him off and continued. "So there I was, rollin' round the place, bored out of me
skull, when some of the bloody minions came after me. Me! Can you believe it?!"
"I woulda come pway with you, Schpike," Buffy said.
"Thank you, wuv," Spike said. "Back to the schtory. There I was, bein' a good wittle vampire,
an' these pillocks grabbed me up out of me chair an' threw me over the back of the couch. Some
fuck pulled my trousers an' boots off while some other sods 'eld me down. My face was pressed
into the back of the couch cushions an' I could 'ear em all leerin' an' laughin' at me.
"Next thing I felt was me ass being pulled apart, my thighs grasped by rough 'ands and yanked
to each side as far as they could go. I 'member growlin' an' swearin' at em, but they kept a-goin'."
Spike's voice changed as he pretended to speak for someone else. "''e's got no 'air in 'is
buttcrack -- look a' that cute 'ole! We'll make a pussy of 'im tonight!' someone said from
behind me. Then I felt blunt fingertips pryin' me open. It 'urt lots."
"Oh, poor Schpike," Willow said quietly.
"'Look at that tight wittle 'ole. It's quiverin' wit' eagerness. Slide your fingers into it now,'
another voice done say," Spike continued. "Then I felt a finger diggin' into me an' I tried to get
away, but my soddin' legs wouldn't work, an' some bloke said ''E likes it -- look at 'im squirm.
What a nice 'ard butt 'e's got -- look at 'im wiggle.' Then another said, 'Open up 'is 'ole. Add
Spike lifted his hand again and made the North Star disappear with his thumb. "I didn't scream,
you know, when some fuck shoved 'is prick in me. 'E started poundin' away an' it felt like me
guts were bein' ripped apart, but I didn't make a bloody noise. I stopped fightin' an' jus' laid
there over the back of the couch an' let em 'ave me.
"'Oh fuck, I's gonna come,' the bloke buggerin' me said. 'It's too good, I's gonna come.'
Another git laughed an' said, 'Yeah, come up 'is butt.' So the bastard did an' I could feel that
cock pulsin' and twitchin' inside me as 'e did it."
"That's gross," Xander commented.
"'My turn,' someone said. The bloke in me pulled out an' then another bloke grabbed me ass
an' shoved 'is fat cock inta me. I could feel 'is 'airy thighs 'gainst me legs an' 'is balls 'ittin' me
own as 'e buggered me. Then 'e shot 'is load an' another took 'is pwace, then another, then
another, an' I could do nothin' but lay there an' take it."
Spike dropped his arm over his eyes. "I was sprawled over the couch an' I let them do me over
an' over again an' I though they'd never stop. They laughed an' made fun of me. Then they did
stop only to throw me over the end of the couch and pull me sideways on it so me ass was on the
arm. Someone was 'oldin' me legs up an' apart, es-posin' me. I jus' stared up at the ceilin' as
some bloke said 'Now 'e's a swick pussy ripe fer fuckin' again!'
"'An they did. They fucked me like a woman an' told me I 'ad a great cunt, cuz it was tight cuz I
'and't been buggered in a long time. An' it was wet like a woman, cuz they'd snotted in me
bunches. Finally some sod yelled that Anglu's was comin' an' they picked me up an' tossed me
in me chair, then pushed me down the 'all to me room."
"Then what happened?" Buffy asked in a quiet, stunned voice.
"I cleaned up best I could an' went to bed. Next day Dru gave me a bath, but she said nothin'
'bout what 'appened. So she either didn't know or didn't care," Spike said.
"Did they ever dowit again?" Willow said, equally as quiet as Buffy.
"Nah," Spike replied. "I gots smart an' locked myself in me room with some wiquor every time
Dru an' the poof gone out."
The five were silent for awhile, save for the sounds of the night. Finally Oz spoke up. "Sorry
you had to go through that, man."
Spike shrugged his shoulders. "'Appened years ago. Don't matter much now."
"Now he gets fucked up the ass an' likes it!" Xander exclaimed with a giggle.
"That's cuz me Angl'useseses got a big, tasty piece a meat," Spike said, a large grin forming on
his face. Willow and Buffy giggled, Oz chuckled and Xander made disgusted noises.
The dark-haired vampire babysitter shook his head and leaned back against a tree. He'd been
heartbroken when he'd heard Spike's tale, and angry, at both himself and the minions who'd
hurt his childe. He silently vowed to make sure his most precious belonging never got hurt like
He then also made a promise to himself to allow Spike to play the master to him the next time
they had a long weekend together. A large grin formed on his own face at the potential pleasures
in store for both of them.