Humping Like Bunnies
"I could," grunt, "use," gasp, "a little help," oomph, "here."
"I'm a bit occupied at the moment, Slayer," Spike growled, grabbing the arm that was around his
throat. He threw his head back and bashed his attacker in the face.
"Escuera rubinto ruen e unae," Willow chanted, her eyes on the spellbook in front of her. Oz
stood by her side, watching the fight and acting as protection for her. "Le segunim aerae inmao
Buffy went up in the air with the impact of a pole in her stomach. She tried to latch onto it, but a
second grey-skinned humanoid cracked her across the back of the neck. She hit the ground hard.
Spike used the arm around his neck as leverage to shoot both his feet up and kick at a fourth
humanoid, who flew back with the impact. He rammed his elbow backwards into the one behind
him, then tossed it over his shoulder. He pulled out his stake, looked at it, shrugged and slammed
it down into the humanoid's throat.
Buffy shook her head, trying to get up. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of the pole
being raised to bash her skull in and she quickly rolled into her second opponent. It kicked her in
the ribs and she moaned in pain.
"Et inae re esreran," Willow chanted. "Et inae re esrarat..."
Spike's eyes shot to where Buffy was laying and a snarl erupted from him. He darted forward
and grabbed the pole, yanking it out of the humanoid's hands. He slammed it across that
humanoid's face, sending the attacker sailing backwards.
She used his distraction to jump to her feet and sent a palm strike to the humanoid's nose. The
fragment of bone was driven up into its brain. "About time," Buffy snapped at Spike, watching
as her opponent fell to the ground.
"Suck me," Spike snapped back. He rushed at their last opponent, swinging the pole like a
baseball bat. The humanoid ducked a drove a fist into his stomach. He growled and viciously
skewered the humanoid with the end of the metal.
"You wish," Buffy scoffed, checking herself for broken ribs.
"No, you wish," Spike retorted, letting go of the pole. The humanoid joined its dead friends on
"Like I'd wish for a root canal," she shot back. She winced when she found one broken.
"Bastard. You broke my rib."
"Me?" he said incredulously. "No, no, no, Slayer. I think it's your piss-poor fighting that gave
"La maechinae e rebunad," Willow chanted.
"Uh, Willow," Oz said, nudging his girlfriend. "They've won."
"Re reande et ianae..."
"Do you know how much I don't like you?" Buffy scowled at Spike.
"Not as much as I despise you," Spike told her.
"You are a waste of skin," she snapped.
"Ooh, such a wonderful retort," he mocked. "I'm quivering with anger."
Buffy glared up at him. "How would you like to wear your tongue wrapped around your
Spike rolled his eyes. "You're pathetic."
"You're an ass!"
"Takes one to know one."
Buffy poked him in the chest. "You are nothing more than a worthless speck of fungus on cow
"And you are a bloody bitch who couldn't get laid if you spread your legs at a fraternity party."
Spike poked her back.
"I hate you," she said with enough venom to melt lead.
"...Acundae!" Willow glanced up at Oz as she finished the spell. "Did you say something?"
"They've won," Oz repeated, gesturing with his head towards the fighting blond duo.
Willow looked over at them. "Oh. Well, I guess they didn't nee-oh!"
"Is this a good thing or a bad thing?" Oz asked, as he and Willow watched a pink light swirl up
from the ground to surround Buffy and Spike. They watched as it completely engulfed the two
in an instant, then abruptly, the light was gone.
"Uh, I'm definitely thinking bad," Willow replied.
Where Buffy and Spike had been arguing, all that was left was twin piles of clothing on the
"You know, I used to be good at spells," Willow said, as she and Oz hurried over to the piles of
clothing. "Really, I did."
"It's ok, baby," Oz told her. He sniffed the air suddenly and frowned. "Rabbit."
"What?" she asked, dropping to her knees beside Buffy's clothing.
"I smell rabbit," he repeated.
"Um, I think I know why."
Oz looked down at Willow and saw that she had pulled the Slayer's clothing apart.
And sitting in the center was a brown, lop-eared rabbit.
The werewolf dropped to his knees and quickly, but carefully, moved Spike's clothing around. A
lump moved within the jeans and he lifted up one end and peered inside. A second, brown, lop-eared rabbit peered back at him, its nose twitching. "That would explain it," Oz commented.
"...And then they were rabbits," Willow explained to Giles, gesturing helplessly to the matching
cardboard boxes sitting on the table in the former Watcher's office.
"What about the Winiquas?" Giles asked.
"Corpses," Oz answered.
"We should move them," Willow said. "They're kinda in the middle of the quad."
"Yes, I-I suppose that would be a good idea," Giles said. He put on his jacket and looked at the
boxes. "They cannot escape?"
"No," Willow replied. "Well, I don't think so."
"We shall just have to chance it," Giles said. After Oz and Willow exited his office, he shut the
door and the trio left to dispose of the bodies.
Silence permeated the building, the late-night hour making it unusual for anyone to be out and
about. Unless that anyone happened to be a member of the Slayerettes.
"Giles, you here?" Xander asked, opening the office door roughly ten minutes later. "I saw your
light on..." The brunette frowned when he didn't find Giles. However, that frown turned into a
curious grin when he saw the boxes on the table. "Well, well, well, what have we here?"
He looked over the tops of the boxes. "Rabbits? Is there some new slaying technique that I
don't know about?" he said to himself. He picked one of the rabbits up and began to pet it. It bit
"Ow!" Xander exclaimed, looking at his bleeding finger. "Who do you think you are?
He went to put the rabbit back in the box, then stopped. He smirked and put the rabbit in the box
with the second rabbit instead. Within seconds, the one that bit him had mounted the other one.
"So that's what they mean by humping like bunnies," he commented, watching the show.
Xander's brows shot up when the male rabbit suddenly fell straight backwards onto his back. "I
take it she was good."
The male righted itself and sat there for a moment. The female turned her head, almost if she was
looking over her shoulder at the male. Xander giggled when the male pounced on the female
again, humping like mad. Turning, the brunette left the office, calling over his shoulder, "Have
fun, you wascally wabbits."
Shortly thereafter, the male rabbit fell straight backwards again. The female jumped out of the
box and landed on the table, her nose twitching. She jumped to the floor at the same time the
male jumped out of the box to the table. She looked at the male and he joined her on the floor.
Half-a-second later, the male mounted the female for a third time.
A pink light swirled up from the floor of the office and engulfed the two rabbits.
Spike became aware of the fact that he was pounding into a hot female from behind an instant
before he climaxed. His arms were on either side of her body, his chest pressed against her back
and he was deep inside of her tight core. His whole body shook with his orgasm and he sucked
in an unneeded gasp of air.
Buffy's body felt like it was on fire. Everything was tingling, especially the area between her
legs. She felt a muscular, cool, male body against her back and the curve of her buttocks. She
could also feel his cock filling her, stretching her, pulsating within her. She gasped and tightened
her vaginal muscles, the sweet ache of impeding orgasm making her clit throb.
"Please," she whimpered, begging for release.
Spike's eyes widened when he realized who it was and he quickly pulled out of her. She mewled
in protest, squeezing her thighs together and wiggling. He could smell her need and his nostrils
flared, but he didn't touch her. "Slayer?" he practically squeaked.
Buffy's muscles tightened again when she heard Spike's voice, her body humming with
unfulfilled arousal. She knew she should care that she was naked, on her hands and knees, and
that he had been thrusting inside her moments before, but she didn't. All she wanted was for
him to push her over the edge. "Spike, please," she begged. "Please."
That was all he needed to get him moving. He flipped her onto her back and stared into her eyes
for a moment, then smashed his mouth to hers. One of his hands found her breast and tugged at
her hard nipple with his thumb and forefinger. She whimpered again, rubbing her mound against
his semi-flaccid cock.
Breaking away, he quickly moved down her body, pushed her legs far apart and attacked her clit.
She cried out, her head and shoulders arching back, as he sucked the hard nubbin into his mouth.
Her orgasm was swift and furious, causing spots to dance behind her tightly closed eyes. She
writhed under him, trying to push him away, but he held her pinned to the floor.
He growled continuously as he moved from her clit to her opening. He thrust his tongue inside
of her, lapping up their combined fluids. She shuddered beneath him, small pleasurable cries
tumbling from her lips.
Buffy came down slowly, hearing his growls and feeling his mouth and tongue. She lolled her
head to the side, looking down her body to see the top of his blond head between her thighs. She
felt completely boneless and utterly satisfied. And, if he kept it up, she's soon feel aroused again.
It took great effort for her to move enough to tug lightly on his hair. He lifted his head and
pierced her hazel eyes with his golden ones. He was upon her in an instant, his growls rumbling
across the room even though his mouth was crushed to hers. His full length was pressed against
her, blanketing her with his coolness.
Neither one of them heard the office door open, the squeak of surprise, or the door shutting
"They're...they're...they're...," Willow stuttered repeatedly, her face bright red.
"I'll say," Oz replied.
Giles had removed his glasses, a blush staining his own cheeks. He cleared his throat. "Well."
He cleared it again.
"Hey guys," Xander greeted, joining the trio. He cocked his head when he heard growling
coming from behind the closed office door. "Since when did Bugs get so loud?"
"They're...they're...they're...," Willow continued.
Xander looked at her red face. "Wills, they're only rabbits."
"I beg to differ," Oz told him.
"What?" Xander asked, confused.
"That's...er,...B-Buffy a-a-a-and Spike," Giles stammered.
Xander's jaw dropped open. "You mean I watched Spike-bunny hump Buffy-bunny?! We've
got to get them apart, cuz that's...that's...disgusting beyond all-"
"They're not rabbits anymore," Oz said.
"Ok, that's something even worse!" Xander exclaimed. "Why aren't you stopping them?!"
Giles, Oz and Willow all stared at him as if he were nuts. Then, as one, they turned and quickly
left. He looked at the office door, shook his head in disgust, then followed them.
The growling tapered off slowly and Buffy opened her eyes when Spike broke the kiss. His
yellow eyes reflected confusion, as he stared down at her. "Um, hi," she said quietly.
"What happened?" Spike asked. She flushed and he shook his head. "That's not what I meant."
"I know," she replied. "I don't know."
"What happened. I don't know. I remember fighting with you in the quad, then you...from, uh,
behind," she said, her face glowing with a nice rosy hue. She wiggled uncomfortably as
something dug into her back. "Can we move to the couch or something?"
"Oh," Spike said, shaking out of his daze. He quickly stood and helped her to her feet, an
awkward silence filling the room in place of the growls and sounds of passion. They avoided
looking at each other.
"Um, do you see our clothes?" Buffy asked.
"Er, no," he replied. He pointed to the couch. "There's a blanket."
"I'm not going to run across campus wearing only a blanket," she said, quickly sitting down on
the couch and pulling the blanket in front of her.
"Well, I'm sure as hell not," he said. He put his hands on his hips and glared at her.
Buffy tried to glare at him, but his nudity and game face only caused her to turn a deeper shade
of crimson. She adjusted the blanket and lifted one side. "Will you get under here, already," she
Spike grinned and sat down beside her, the blanket falling over his lap. "Problems, Slayer?"
"Seeing you naked was making me nauseous."
Buffy scowled at him and he chuckled. She continued to look at him, waiting for him to revert
back to his human face. When he didn't, she started to wonder if he knew he was in game fact to
"What are you staring at?"
"You," she answered, then yawned.
"Tired, pet?" Spike asked.
"A little," Buffy replied, then yawned again. "Ok, a lot."
Spike studied her for a moment, watching as her eyes kept dropping closed, then shooting back
open. A wave of tenderness hit him and he scowled, turning his gaze away from her. "Well, we,
er, have a choice," he said.
"What's that?" she asked sleepily.
"One of us can run off with the blanket and return with some clothes..."
"...Or we can both crash here on the couch and wait until Giles shows up in the morning," he
finished. The office was windowless, so he wasn't worried about the sun and he was extremely
"I don't want Giles to see us naked together," Buffy muttered, halfway asleep.
"Luv, my guess is that something happened to us, which is why we're in his office," Spike said.
"We could call," she suggested, her head dropping forward before jerking back up.
The tenderness hit him again and he growled at her. A goofy grin crossed her lips. "You're
kinda sexy all growly and vampy like that," she murmured, her head falling to his shoulder.
"Yep. I'm going to sleep now, 'k?" Buffy mumbled around a yawn.
One side of Spike's mouth turned up. "Ok, luv." By the time the words were out of his mouth,
she was asleep. He glanced over at the phone on the desk, which was on the opposite side of the
room, then back at the sleeping blond.
"Sod it all," he said, maneuvering them both until they were stretched out on the couch, his body
spooned to hers. He readjusted the blanket over them, then closed his eyes and joined her in
Giles found them in that position the next morning and resigned himself to the fact that his Slayer
was, once again, involved with a vampire. He didn't know if he should blame himself for pairing
them together, Willow for the spell mistake, Oz for not stopping the spell or Xander for putting
the rabbits in the same box.
Buffy sighed and snuggled back in her sleep. Spike growled slightly, his face still in its vampiric
countenance and his arm tightened around her waist. Giles shook his head and sighed.
"Humping like bunnies, indeed."