Mistletoe and Candycane
"This is Joann Winters speaking to you live from Sunnydale Mall on Christmas Eve, where the
Mistletoe Kisser has struck again." The tall, statuesque, brunette reporter turned to look out over
the busy mall's inner courtyard, and the camera smoothly moved from her to the large, fully
decorated Christmas tree in the center of the courtyard before panning the shoppers bustling
about. "Store personnel and shoppers alike have been approached by the mysterious boy
dressed as an elf and treated to a brief kiss under mistletoe that mysteriously appears above their
"My children were acting like little horrors," the scene cut to a beaming, pink-coated mother with
two little girls standing in front of her. "I was so close to telling them S-a-n-t-a wouldn't be
coming tomorrow, when a young man tapped me on the shoulder. He pointed to the ceiling, I
looked up, and there was a sprig of mistletoe hanging above our heads by a string. When I
looked back at him, he kissed me on the lips, smiled, and walked away. For a second, I was
stunned, then I was suddenly filled with... I'm going to call it 'Christmas Spirit.'"
"The 'Christmas Spirit'," the reporter said, the camera on her again. "A feeling that is normally
lacking under the pressures of the season, but for all of those who've been kissed by the
Mistletoe Kisser, they seem to have the spirit in abundance."
Spike rolled his eyes and turned the television off. "Mistletoe Kisser spreading good cheer,
right," he commented to himself in the empty crypt. "I'd check your wallets, you idiot humans.
A good thief always has a good distraction."
The blond vampire felt a tap on his shoulder and he whirled around, dropping into a defensive
stance. He stared for a moment before straightening. "You've got to be kidding me."
Standing in his crypt, less than ten inches away, was a boyish young man dressed in tight green
pants and a red tunic. A green hat was set at a jaunty angle on his shaggy dark hair, right
between the very pointed ears. Luminous brown eyes framed with long dark lashes danced with
mischievousness, high cheekbones lifted as full lips curved into a smile.
The young man pointed up. Spike glanced up quickly, not wanting to be on the receiving end of
a surprise punch because he looked. However, he was still surprised. "What the...?"
Above his head, hanging from the crypt ceiling, was a sprig of mistletoe.
He looked back at the boy dressed like an elf just in time to be on the receiving end of a kiss. It
felt as though butterfly wings had brushed against Spike's lips, and he blinked owlishly for
several seconds. During that time, the elf smiled at him, turned on his calf-high booted heel, and
walked out of the crypt.
A slow smile spread across Spike's lips, lighting up his features, as the shock wore off. A giddy
feeling expanded in his chest and he laughed out loud.
He glanced up again, grinned, and snagged the mistletoe before grabbing his duster and bouncing
out of the crypt. It was Christmas Eve, and he still had presents to buy!
"Anya, can we please take a break?" Xander begged, trailing after his girlfriend as they wove
through the last minute shoppers at the Sunnydale Mall. "My stomach is screaming for
nourishment of the greasy kind."
"No, Xander," Anya said, shoving past a couple standing in front of a jewelry store display.
"There is only two hours left until the Mall closes, and you haven't bought me everything I want
"Didn't anyone ever tell you Christmas is about giving, not receiving?" Xander said, but Anya
was already out of hearing distance. "Of course, Xander," he mimicked her voice, "You're
giving me all the gifts and not receiving any in return."
Xander sighed, adjusted the hundred-pound bags in his hands, and entered the store Anya had
disappeared into. Victoria's Secret. Now he knew he was sick and tired of shopping, because
there was no stirring in the land down under.
The brunette chose a spot, dropped the shopping bags to the floor, pushed a bunch of hangers
out of the way, and leaned wearily against the clothing rack. He watched Anya paw through
another rack of negligees, holding several choices against her as she looked. Yawn.
His eyes drifted towards the back of the bright pink and cream store, and he grinned when he saw
several other men looking more tired than horny. At least he wasn't alone in this nightmare
disguised as a happy holiday. Besides the women, the only man who looked like he was having a
good time was... Spike?!
Xander rubbed his eyes and looked again. Yep, it was Spike, with a straight candycane sticking
out of his mouth and a Santa hat perched on his bleached head. He was rooting through a bin of
panties, and there were shopping bags by his feet.
"The night before Christmas, where Victoria is housed, Xander saw a vampire shopping and he
wasn't even soused," Xander misquoted, staring incredulously at the biteless-one. Santa Spike,
shopping. Scared now.
Spike suddenly raised his head and looked directly at Xander. And smiled. An honest-to-goodness, happy-to-see-you, lighting-up-the-eyes kinda smile. Xander's scaredness level
climbed up a notch or fifty.
"Oi, Xander," Spike called, gesturing to the freaked brunette. "Come help me pick out some
naughty bits for Buffy."
Naughty bits for Buffy? Heh, heh, help.
Xander looked over at Anya. The ex-demon had an armful of her own naughty bits and didn't
seem to be in the rescuing mood. With a gulp, he gathered Anya's "you're buying me this for
Christmas" shopping bags and ventured over to Spike Cringle.
"Hey, uh, Spike," Xander said, putting the bin of panties between himself and the blond. He
dropped the bags to the floor again. "Nice hat."
"Ta, luv," Spike said, smile at full wattage. He waved the candycane at the panties. "Slayer
knickers. What should I get?"
"A stake-proof vest," Xander replied, eyeing the sugary-sweet-and-I'm-so-hungry candycane.
"For when she comes after you if you give her underwear."
"Nah, she likes me," Spike said, picking up a pair of heart-covered panties and examining them.
"'Sides, I owe her a pair."
"Why...," an image of Buffy sitting indecently on Santa Spike's lap popped into Xander's head,
"...no, never mind, I don't want to know."
"Xander," Xander turned to find Anya behind him, arms laden with things. "I'm going to
purchase these now. Give me money," she said.
Xander bit his tongue, reached into his pocket, and removed his dwindling cash clip. Anya
frowned as she took it from him. "Is this all you have left?"
"Yes, Anya," Xander said patiently. "My entire paycheck plus bonus is almost gone."
"But I have lots of shopping still to do," Anya stated. "This is not good, Xander."
"Just... go buy your stuff," Xander told her, his jaw clenched. Anya sniffed, then headed
towards the sales counter.
Xander closed his eyes. His first Christmas Eve not spent setting up camp in his parents'
backyard, and it still sucked. Christmas just wasn't his holiday.
There was a tap on his shoulder. Xander opened his eyes and turned to see Spike standing right
beside him. "What?" the brunette said sharply.
Spike pointed up with his candycane, a lopsided grin on his face. Frowning, Xander looked up
and saw a black finger-nailed hand holding a sprig of mistletoe over his head.
Xander dropped his chin and found Spike inches away. His startled exclamation was cut off by
Spike's soft lips pressed to his. The kiss was fleeting, over before Xander could push Spike
away... or pull him closer.
Xander stared at Spike in shock. Spike kissed him! On the lips! In Victoria's Secret! On
"Merry Christmas, Xander," Spike said.
A bubbly feeling of happiness suddenly welled up inside Xander, surpassing his shock, and he let
out a small giggle. Spike was still smiling at him, and Xander decided he could get used to it.
Liked it, even.
"Right back at you, Saint Nickle-Spike," Xander said, snatching Spike's candycane and sucking
it into his mouth.
"Oi! That's my candycane!" Spike exclaimed.
Xander batted his eyelashes. "You mean, you won't share?"
A twinkle appeared in Spike's eyes, and he leaned forward, parted his lips, and slowly sucked the
other end of the candycane into his mouth.
Xander couldn't help but grin, his mouth against Spike's. Cross-eyed, the vampire looked pretty
"Xander, what are you doing kissing Spike?!"
Anya, Victoria's Secret shopping bags in hand, glared angrily at Xander. He shrugged, grin still
in place. "Had to. Mistletoe."
"And candycane," Spike added, slurping on the sweet.
"And candycane," Xander agreed.
"Oh," Anya frowned at him. "Well, don't do it again. You're my boyfriend, and boyfriends
don't kiss other people. Unless we're having an orgy."
"Can I come?" Spike asked with a waggle of his brows.
Xander winked. "Only if you wear the hat."