I was terrified. That's the closest word I can think of to convey how I felt. Terrified.
It wasn't as though Angel had asked me to try out a new sunblock or something like that. All he
had wanted was for me to take a shower.
All he wanted me to do was take off my clothes.
I can't stop the feeling of terror even now, hours after I had complied with my Sire. I don't know
why. Maybe it was the fact that they always did their tests while I was nude. Maybe it's because
I can still feel them watching me, even here, in this safest of places with my Sire on guard.
Maybe I'm just bloody fucked in the head.
I laughed hollowly at that thought and pulled the covers tighter around my curled up form. Yeah,
they definitely screwed with my head. Rooms painted in black and white swirls, whose walls
turned, making me unable to tell what way was up. Hallucinations caused by lack of sleep or lack
of feeding or drugs. Hypnotism, easy to do when you prevent the subject from sleeping for days,
to find out personal things to use in their experiments, which made the hallucinations all the more
And they were always watching.
Some of my nightmares include rooms upon rooms of eyes all staring at me. No faces, just eyes.
Wherever I ran, there were eyes. In pitch black rooms, they glowed red and yellow and blue.
Cor, why won't it stop? I need it to stop. I can't go on like this, like a pathetic shell of a demon
who's afraid of his own bloody shadow.
It was just a goddamn shower!
And now I'm terrified once more.