Peanut Butter

by Saber ShadowKitten

Angel sighed, somewhat disgusted, at his wearing-out-her-welcome roommate. "You got peanut butter on the bed."

Cordelia frowned at him. "Really?" She shook her head. "I don't think so."

Angel looked down at his hand, then dropped it, not bothering to hide his unhappiness. Cordelia stood up, towel in hand. "Fine, I'll go look," she said, then headed back towards the bedroom.

"No, no, no," Doyle said, giving him a hurt look. "Angel man how could you?"

"How could I what?" Angel asked, confused, as he headed towards the sink to wipe his hands.

"Come on, you know I was crazy about her. And I was wearing her down, too. But no, handsome, brooding vampire guy has to swoop in all sensitive mouth with the overhanging forehead," Doyle said.

Angel frowned slightly and touched his forehead.

"How 'bout leavin' some scraps for the homely lookin' fellows who don't turn evil when they get some?" Doyle asked.

"Cordelia stayed over because something was wrong with her place," Angel told him. "I was on the sofa."

Doyle looked towards the sofa. "Oh, well," he looked back to Angel, "guess that's okay, I suppose."

Angel gave him a look which read "thank you so very much."

"Angel, at some point in recent history, you got peanut butter on the bed," Cordelia said as she walked into the kitchen, dressed and with a hairbrush in her hand. "And it's gross. I think you're going to have to change the sheets."

"I don't eat," Angel said, trying to keep patient.

"Well then I don't even want to know how it got there."



Spike sighed as he stopped in the archway to the bedroom. He'd been right, it had gotten boring fast. "Come on, you old poof, where'd you put the bloody ring?" he muttered, his eyes roaming around the fastidiously neat room.

Reaching into the pocket of his duster, he pulled out the second Reese's Peanut Butter Cup -- the first having been eaten after he'd eaten the boy who'd had the chocolate treat -- and unwrapped it. Sticking the wrappings back into his pocket, he glanced down at the peanut butter cup and said in a game show host voice, "And how do you eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup?"

"What do you mean?" Spike answered himself in a high-pitched, valley girl accent. "Is this, like, a trick question?"

"Like that thar one with the hoot?" he continued in a cowboy voice. "How many licks does it take to get to that thar center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?"

Spike changed his voice again, this time to that of a nasally nerd. "It has been scientifically proven that it takes exactly nine hundred and seventy-four licks in the exact same spot to reach the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop."

The blond vampire looked at an invisible game show host. "Can I eat him?" he said in his normal voice.

"Now, none of that," he replied to himself in the game show host's voice. "The only eating that will occur is that of the peanut butter cup. So I ask you again, Spike, how do you eat a Reese's?"

"I," Spike said, in a voice once again his own. "Eat." He began to nibble on the peanut butter cup. "The chocolate first," nibble, "until all that is left," nibble, nibble, "is," nibble, nibble, nibble, "the peanut butter part."

Between his thumb and forefinger, he held a small somewhat square hunk of peanut butter. Grinning to himself, he popped the treat into his mouth and walked further into bedroom, looking around again. "Now all I need is schum miwk," he mumbled around the candy.

With another sigh, Spike absently wiped his peanut buttery fingers on the comforter, then began to search for the Gem of Amara once more.


Angel just sighed, clenched his fists, and walked back to his bedroom to get dressed.

"Hey Cordy, you're lookin' great, by the way," Doyle said to Cordelia, who was sitting at the kitchen table, brushing her hair.

"I wouldn't know, the man doesn't have a mirror," Cordelia complained. "Like it would kill him to not see himself?"