Sanctuary -- Revisited

by Saber ShadowKitten
Revisited 17

Angel rounded the corner to the side-tunnel, stopped suddenly and raised his hands in the air. "It's just me."

"Bugger, Angel, you sounded like a Kahn demon stompin' down the tunnel," Spike grumbled, lowering the crossbow in his hands. "Gave me heart palpitations."

"Sorry," Angel apologized, lowering his hands. "I take it everything is okay?"

"Just ducky," Spike replied as he set the crossbow down on the floor beside the bed. "How about you? Still got all your," he waggled his brows, "important parts?"

"I'm fine," Angel said in a flat tone. "Are you ready to go back to my place or do you want to stay down here?"

Spike frowned at him. "What's with you?"

"What's with me what?"

"Don't give me that shit, Peaches," Spike said. "It's obvious something happened with that Slayer..." The dark-haired vampire flinched. "Aha! Something did happen."

"Spike, drop it," Angel told him.

"No," Spike shook his head, "I want to hear what she did to you. I gotta get my vicarious enjoyment since I'm a bit hampered down here."

Angel gave a pained glance to the leg-braces on Spike's legs. "Faith turned herself into the police," he said.

Spike's brows went up. "A Slayer is going to do hard time?"

Angel shrugged. "Looks that way. I don't know for how long, though. I only hope that while she's incarcerated she'll be able to make peace with herself and start down the road to redemption."

"All you needed was some background violins and I'd be weeping, really," Spike commented with a smirk.

"Shut up, Spike," Angel sighed. He ran his hand through his hair. "Are you staying or coming?"

Spike's smirk grew. "Well..."

"You know what, I changed my mind," Angel snapped abruptly. "I can't deal with you right now." He stalked out of the side-tunnel, but paused when Spike called to him.

"Angel, wait!"

Angel growled in annoyance, returned to Spike's hovel-like home and glared at the blond vampire. "What?"

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" Spike asked. "You're acting like it was Buffy you had to fight and not this other chit."

Angel dropped his chin and clenched and unclenched his fists. He wasn't lying when he said he didn't want to deal with Spike. The younger vampire had an uncanny knack in being able to see through carefully constructed walls to the real problems and the annoying tendency to pour acid on those hidden wounds.

"She was here, wasn't she?" Spike questioned quietly, causing Angel to raise his gaze. The slight furrow of concern he saw on his Childe's face was as confusing as what happened in the police station. "Buffy was here."

"Yeah," Angel croaked then cleared his throat. "Yes, she was. She's gone now. I, uh, sent her back to Sunnydale."

"You got into a fight," Spike surmised. He tilted his head to one side and studied Angel. "A bad one, by the look of you."

"Why do you care?" Angel growled, spinning around to face away from the blond vampire. "You should be cheering because my heart got ripped to shreds again."

"Oh, I am. Can't you see me dancing for joy?" Spike said. "Wait, that's right, I can't dance because some nonce went and shattered my knees."

Angel winced and curled his hands until his fingernails were digging into the palms of his hands. "I'm sorry," he said gruffly.

"I don't want your fucking 'sorry,'" Spike snapped at him. "I want you to turn the hell around and look at me when I'm talking to you."

"Don't push me, Spike," Angel said, not turning to face him. The dark-haired vampire ground his teeth together, trying to reign in the tears he could feel coming on. The events with Faith, plus what happened with Buffy, and added to the reminder of what he did to Spike were pressing heavily down on the Angel's mind and heart. "I can't... it's just... I don't..."

"Damn it, Angel! Turn around!"

Angel snarled as he spun around, tears streaming down his cheeks despite his trying to stop them. He glared at Spike and spat, "Happy now?!"

"No, I'm not!" Spike moved on the cot, swinging his braced-legs around so he was sitting on the very edge of the bed, with his ankles resting on the floor. "You're supposed to be taking your anger and hurt out on me, not crying and stomping around like a soddin' nancyboy!"

"Is that what you really want, Spike?" Angel said in a rough, tight voice, stalking towards his Childe. "Do you want me to treat you like shit? Do you want me to hit you and bite you and fuck you raw? Do you want me to crush your kneecaps into powder so it'll be years before you'll be able to walk again?"

"We've been through all this already, you stupid fuck!" Spike glared up at the dark-haired vampire standing beside him. "You own me until I figure out a way to master your gloomy arse. That means you can do whatever the hell you want with me, but it does not mean I'm going to sit around and watch you beat yourself up over that bitch! She isn't worth it!"

Angel roared and punched Spike, sending him sprawling back onto the cot. Angel moved quickly, straddling the blond's hips, the weight on his knees making the cot springs squeak. He latched onto the oversized shirt Spike was wearing and lifted him partway off the bed, getting right into his face.

"You are not allowed to talk about her," Angel hissed. "She's off-limits."

"Sod that," Spike growled back. "She's a dozy twat who's not worth spitting on."

"She's not!" Angel screamed in Spike's face. He shook the blond in punctuation as he repeated, "She's not! She's not! She's not! She's not! She's not!"

"Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself of that, mate," Spike stated calmly when Angel stopped shaking him.

Angel suddenly let out a sob and moved off of Spike. He sat down on the cot beside the blond, put his face in his hands and wept.

"It's not fair," he choked out in a thick voice after several long minutes of crying. "She comes here because she's worried about me, then she turns around and rakes me over the coals, and I didn't do anything wrong! I was helping Faith, saving another soul, helping a young girl who's so much like me that it scares me."

"Go on," Spike's soft voice said near his ear.

Angel took a shaky, purposeful breath and looked at his Childe. Pain and confusion were written across the dark-haired vampire's features. "Buffy hit me when I stopped her from going after Faith and I hit her back," he told Spike, who was sitting upright on the edge of the cot once more. "I hit her, Spike. I hit the woman I loved."

"It happens," Spike said.

"But it's not supposed to happen," Angel said. "You don't hurt the people you love like that. Ever."

Spike gave him a lopsided grin. "Guess that means I should cancel the caterers for our wedding, eh?"

The absurdity of Spike's statement coupled with the blond batting his eyelashes in an effeminate manner caused Angel to snort in laughter and cut through his hurt, allowing him to calm down. He wiped his eyes, then reached out and ruffled Spike's hair, causing the blond to growl at him and bat his hands away.

"Cut that out, you poof." Spike smoothed back his hair and Angel promptly mussed it up again. "Quit it!"

"Tell me something," Angel said, laying back on the mattress with his hands folded behind his head. His eyes traced over the cracked bricks in the ceiling. "Does it ever become less painful?"

"Does what ever become less painful?" Spike asked in return.

"Loving someone," Angel replied.

Spike was silent for a long time. Angel raised his head slightly and saw that his Childe was looking at him with an inscrutable expression. "Spike?"

"No," Spike answered, shaking his head. "It never stops being painful, but the pleasure you get along with the pain is well worth it."

Angel sighed and returned his gaze back to the ceiling. "She's got a boyfriend, you know. Rubbed that little fact right in my face."

"Want me to go kill him for you?"

The dark-haired vampire chuckled. "That's okay, Spike. I wanted her to move on and now she did." He frowned. "I didn't know that it was going to be this painful, though."

"Are you going to brood now?" Spike asked. "If you are, I'm leaving."

"You can't walk."

"I'd be motivated enough to try."

Angel's lips curled up. "Fine, I won't brood in your presence."


The two vampires fell silent. The tunnels were quiet except for the soft hum of the electrical emergency light high on the back wall of Spike's make-shift home.

Angel allowed his mind to drift over the fight with Buffy, being careful not to let his brooding show. He knew he couldn't leave things like they were. If, God forbid, something happened to her before he fixed things, he'd never forgive himself. They needed some sort of closure that didn't end in anger or bitter tears.

The loud sounds of velcro being pulled apart snapped him out of his thoughts. He raised his head and saw that Spike had taken off his borrowed shirt, had one of his leg-braces off and was working on removing the second one.

"What are you doing?" Angel asked as he sat up.

"Macrame," Spike replied sarcastically.

"Spike, you have to leave those on."

"Well, I don't want them on," Spike said. He dropped the leg-brace to the floor, laid back on the cot and wiggled his too-large pants and boxers down over his hips. He glared at Angel when the dark-haired vampire went to help. Angel held up his hands in a placating gesture and allowed Spike to proceed on his own. The blond grunted, obviously in pain, as he worked the material off his legs to join the multitude of piles of clothing on the floor.

"Now that you're naked, what are you going to do?" Angel asked, suppressing the amusement in his voice.

Spike sat up and grabbed the back of Angel's hair. "This," he replied, then pressed his mouth to the older vampire's.

They were in an exceedingly awkward position and Angel quickly rectified it by turning sideways, with one leg crooked up on the cot between them. He leaned in towards Spike and lifted his hand to cup the younger man's cheek as the kiss deepened.

Spike's tongue slid against Angel's in a gentle manner, lightly tangling with the older man's. Angel felt his stomach flip-flop from the aching softness of the kiss. The tenderness was mind-blowing and he felt himself sinking against the younger man. The tension and anger he'd felt drifted away under the slow assault.

Angel's shirt was off before he realized it, and Spike was running his hand along the waistband of Angel's pants. The dark-haired vampire didn't break away from the other man's mouth as he toed off his shoes, clumsily stood and discarded his pants and boxers.

He sat back down sideways on the bed and sighed into the kiss as Spike's fingers danced along his skin. His muscles quivered under his Childe's light touch and he responded in kind by sliding his hands along the younger man's lean, taut torso. Angel's wrist accidentally brushed against the silky head of Spike's erect shaft and, in response, the blond inhaled sharply.

Angel dropped his hand down and encircled the turgid length with a soft fist. Spike moaned in the back of his throat as the dark-haired man tugged gently on the younger vampire's cock. He kept on with his slow rhythm until Spike pushed his hand away.

The blond's arms came up around Angel's neck and Angel felt a strong pressure on his shoulders as Spike used him for leverage to move. A whimper, not of pleasure, but that of pain, broke into Angel's hazy senses. He pulled away from Spike's talented mouth and opened his eyes.

Spike had partially turned on the bed. His right leg was bent on Angel's lap and he was trying to get it on the other side of the older vampire's waist.

"Spike, what are you doing?" Angel asked, putting his hands on the younger man's hips to stop his moving. "You're hurting yourself."

Spike growled at Angel and continued to try and get his leg on the other side of Angel's body. The dark-haired vampire grabbed Spike's arms, pulled them from around his neck and stood. Spike hissed in pain at the jostling movements.

"You have got to be the most idiotic vampire I've ever met," Angel told his Childe as he bodily picked Spike up and laid him lengthwise on the cot. "If you wanted to move, why didn't you just ask?"

"Shut up," Spike grumbled.

Angel shook his head and carefully restraightened the blond's legs. He winced at Spike's unbidden snarls of pain. Angel retrieved the leg-braces from the floor and had just finished refastening the second one around Spike's leg when his Childe yanked him down onto the cot.

The dark-haired vampire barely managed to catch himself before he crushed Spike, and he quickly readjusted his position so he was laying on his side next to the younger man. "What is up with you?" Angel asked with slight ire in his voice. "Are you purposely trying to get hurt?"

"No, I'm purposely trying to get you to fuck me already," Spike snapped back.

Angel arched his brow. "You want me that badly?"

Spike growled and turned onto his side so he was facing Angel. He grabbed the other man's backside and pulled their lower bodies flush together, crushing both of their erections between them. Spike started to rub himself up against Angel as he glared at the older vampire.

Angel chuckled and smoothed his hand down Spike's arm. "I'm going to take that as a yes."

"I haven't had any in over a week. I'm dying here," Spike said.

"Insert the usual 'you're already dead' joke here," Angel said dryly.

Spike's lips twitched. "That was really bad, pet."

Angel half-shrugged, removed Spike's hand from his rear and rolled over in order to reach one of the tubes of lubricant from a shoe box, which was partially under the bed. Spike wiggled closer to him and began to dry hump his leg. It was both amusing and arousing, and he was tempted to just let the blond continue until he came.

Then, Spike's hand closed around Angel's jutting erection and he changed his mind. He wanted to be inside his boy's sweet body and feel Spike's inner muscles spasming around his cock as the younger man climaxed. He wanted to be connected with his Childe in the most intimate way. He wanted to completely forget about all of his problems and lose himself in the physical sensations of making love to someone.

Angel moved Spike's hand away and gently pushed the blond until he rolled all the way over onto his other side. The dark-haired vampire opened the tube of lubricant and squirted some of the viscous fluid onto his fingers. He shut the lid, set the tube within easy reach, and turned onto his side so he was facing Spike's back.

Spike let out a low rumble of pleasure as Angel slipped his fingers between the blond's pale buttocks and into the hidden hole. Angel pressed his hand flat against Spike's backside and moved his slick digits in and out of Spike, stretching the tight ring of muscle and lubricating the velvety passage.

When Spike started moving his hips back against Angel's thrusting fingers, Angel pulled his hand away and scooted up on the cot. Angel took the pillow from under Spike's head and maneuvered it between himself and the cold tunnel wall. He then opened the tube of lubricant again and smeared a large amount onto his swollen shaft.

The tube ended up back in the shoe box and Angel easily hoisted Spike up onto his lap. He adjusted his grip and wrapped his right arm around Spike's torso beneath the blond's arms. He then lifted Spike up, blindly positioned his lubricated cock at the younger man's puckered entry, and lowered his Childe back down, effectively sheathing himself in Spike's tight passage.

Angel groaned loudly at the sensation caused by being fully inside of Spike. He'd missed this. Spike was right, a week was way too long to go without having his Childe in this way.

The dark-haired vampire caught sight of Spike's bright blue leg-braces and he closed his eyes against the whitewash of guilt that flowed over him. There was a reason it'd been a week. He reminded himself that he was lucky Spike was alive at all.

"I know that you're brooding back there," Spike said, his low voice full of desire. "And I hate to tell you, luv, but now is not the time to do that."

Spike tightened his inner muscles around Angel's shaft and the older man inhaled sharply in pleasure. "Okay," Angel said quickly. "Sex now, brood later."

Spike chuckled. "That's a good Sire."

"Patronizing me isn't allowed, Spike," Angel whispered in Spike's ear. Spike shivered and Angel tightened his arm around the blond's torso. His tongue darted out and he licked the shell of Spike's ear. "What do you say?"

"Fuck me?" Spike replied with an odd note of delight in his voice.

"No," Angel said softly. He nipped at Spike's earlobe. "I think I'm just going to sit here for awhile."

"And if I say please?" Spike asked.

"Don't know," Angel answered devilishly. "Why don't you try it and find out?"

Angel looked down his Childe's body to the pale shaft jutting tantalizingly from the nest of dark curls surrounding it. He reached around with his left hand and ran a light finger along the length of it. He smiled when the hard member jumped in an uncontrolled reaction.

Spike let out a throaty whimper and lolled his head back onto Angel's shoulder, exposing the long column of his neck. Angel licked his lips at the sight of the pale skin of Spike's neck, the thick jugular easily visible beneath the surface. He felt his canines prick his tongue, and he decided to have a taste of the stolen blood humming in his Childe's veins.

The dark-haired vampire allowed his face to fully morph before he ran his tongue over the area he was going to bite, drawing the blood closer to the surface. Spike's body tightened around him and Angel grinned toothily in anticipation. Like a knife through hot butter, his fangs sank through Spike's skin and into the blond's jugular.

Spike's hand came up and entangled in the back of Angel's hair, holding the older vampire to his neck. Angel growled in satisfaction at his Childe's actions and pressed his teeth harder against Spike's neck. Spike shuddered in his arms.

"Please, Sire," the dark-haired vampire heard Spike whisper roughly. "Please."

Angel pulled his fangs free and laved his tongue over the bleeding wound he'd created. "Please, huh?" he said silkily. "Well, then the answer is... still no."

He slid his left arm around Spike's waist and tightened both arms when the blond started to move in search of his own satisfaction. The older vampire tisked. "Huh-uh, boy, I didn't give you permission to do that."

Spike froze in his arms, his Childe's entire body going tense. Angel frowned. "Spike?"

"Angel?" Spike said warily.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Angel asked, concern flooding him. "Did I hurt you? Do you want to move?"

The younger vampire suddenly relaxed, his body molding back against Angel's. Spike put his hands on the arm around his waist and squeezed lightly. "I'm fine. I just want to shag sometime before the next millennium," Spike replied.

He was lying. Angel knew it immediately. He replayed the last few minutes in his mind, trying to figure out what happened. Tease, bite, tease, stopped Spike from moving...

It hit him with all the gentleness of a stampeding elephant. It was his words that had caused his Childe's reaction. Words that he'd used in the past when dominating Spike. Words he'd similarly used when torturing Spike.

Spike had been scared for that brief moment. It was evident in his sudden freezing up, the tension radiating from his body and they way he'd said Angel's name.

Angel's name.

The pain that entered Angel's heart was sharp. Spike had been scared that Angel had become his demon counterpart again. He closed his eyes and swallowed back the nauseous feeling filling him.

"Angel, sometime soon, please," Spike said. "Or I'm going to do it myself."

Angel moved Spike off of him and stood. It was then that he noticed he was still wearing his socks and he let out a mirthless chuckle.

"Hey, you poof, where are you going?" Spike asked.

"Nowhere," Angel replied, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He squatted down beside the cot, pushed the crossbow fully under the bed and dug out a different bottle of lubricant. A heated brand, like the one he'd used that unbelievably perfect night several months ago when he'd asked Spike to stay.

The dark-haired vampire found it and tossed it to Spike. "Think you know what to do with that?" he asked the blond.

Spike's eyes widened when he looked and the label. "Does this mean...?"

"I'm going to ride that beautiful cock of yours until you scream out my name," Angel told him bluntly as he sat down on the edge of the cot to pull off his socks.

The bed shook and Angel glanced over his shoulder in time to see Spike practically pour the entire bottle over his erection. The corners of his mouth curled up in an unbidden smile.

He stood again and adjusted the pillow so it was under Spike's head where it belonged. "Do you want to prepare me, or would you rather I just fucked you silly?" Angel asked, looking down at the extremely excited blond vampire.

"I can wait," Spike said with a grin. A furrow appeared between his brows. "Maybe. Better get that arse of yours over here fast, just in case."

Angel shook his head, laid down high on the cot with his back towards his Childe and pulled his upper leg towards his chest. He made a noise of approval when Spike's questing fingers found his hidden rosette. He relaxed his body and focused on the sweet burning Spike's lubricant-slicked fingers were creating.

"Angel," Spike said in a very tight voice. "Now, please."

The dark-haired vampire didn't hesitate to climb over Spike and straddle the younger man's hips. Settling his weight on his knees, Angel took Spike's slick shaft in his hand and positioned the weeping crown at his puckered entry.

"Ready?" he asked. Spike gave him an incredulous look, causing him to laugh lightly. "Okay, dumb question."

"Yes," Spike agreed. "And if you don't get started I'm going to..."

"You're going to what?" Angel asked with a lift of his brow when Spike trailed off.

Spike looked away and lifted his shoulders in a small shrug. "Lay here like a soddin' idiot."

Angel's heart caught again in pain. How was he ever going to make things right with his Childe? "Spike, look at me," he instructed quietly.

The blond vampire returned his blue gaze to Angel. "What?"

"Who am I?" Angel asked.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Master," he answered scathingly.

Angel shook his head. "Spike, who am I?"

Spike's irritated expression turned into a slightly confused one. "My Sire?"

Angel shook his head again. "Look at me, Spike. Who am I?"

"Er...," Spike's brows furrowed deeply, "...Angelus?"

"No," Angel said firmly. He held Spike's gaze and repeated in a softer tone, "Who am I, Spike?"

Comprehension lit Spike's eyes. "Angel," he replied, then repeated the name with more assurance. "Angel."

"I'm Angel," Angel echoed with a nod. "Remember that."

Then, the dark-haired vampire sunk down on Spike's cock and the younger man gasped, "Angel."

Angel smiled at the expression of bliss on Spike's face, enjoying the sight of Spike's tightly closed eyes and parted lips. He leaned forward, braced himself on his forearms on either side of the blond's head and began to raise and lower himself on Spike's marble hardness.

Spike's eyes fluttered open and he met Angel's dark gaze. "Kiss me," he ordered softly.

Angel dipped his head and captured Spike's mouth. His tongue slipped between the blond's parted lips and gently brushed against Spike's tongue. The younger man was quick to respond, curling his tongue around Angel's and joining in the sensual dance as Angel continued to ride him.

Angel kept his rhythm slow and steady, his powerful legs easily enabling him to make love to his Childe in this manner. Spike's hands were all over his back, stroking and scratching and trying to hold him closer. The heated lubricant was driving him deliciously crazy, and he knew the effects were ten times more powerful for Spike.

Spike broke the kiss, but instead of pulling away, he murmured against Angel's lips, "Need me, Angel."

Angel lifted his head, surprised by what he'd heard. Spike met his gaze with half-lidded eyes, but Angel could still read the uncertainty in them.

It was that uncertainty combined with the emphasis of his name that clued Angel in as to why Spike said what he did. Spike wanted Angel to need him, not Angelus, not the demon inside of him, not the demon that was recently free.

But, to Angel, the question was: would he need Spike if his demon was no longer present?

He didn't know the answer to that.

So, instead of replying, Angel caught Spike's lips again in a passionate kiss and increased the pace of his thrusts. It didn't take long for Spike to tear his mouth away and yell, "Angel!", as the older vampire brought him to orgasm.

Angel kissed Spike's forehead before climbing off the younger man. The dark-haired vampire's shaft strained for release, but he ignored it. He was too unsettled by Spike's spoken need. He grabbed his pants, slid them on and fastened them.

"Do you want to come back to the apartment or stay here?" Angel asked, as he slipped on his shoes.

"What I want is to make you come back in the apartment," Spike replied with a lazy drawl.

Angel shook his head. "Maybe later. There's something I need to do first," he said. He needed time to think, away from his Childe, and the drive to Sunnydale would provide it. Once there, he would make his peace with Buffy and then close that chapter of his unlife so that he was able to move on. Then, perhaps, he'd be able to answer Spike's entreaty.

"Well, it's your boner," Spike said. "Give me my pants."

"Do you want help?" Angel asked as he handed Spike the pair of loose pants he'd worn earlier.

"No," Spike said over the sound of opening velcro. "I got it. It's not like I've never been incapacitated before."

Angel bit back his apology. Spike didn't want it. The dark-haired vampire concentrated on putting on his shirt, tucking his socks and boxers into his pocket and allowing the blond to dress on his own.

Spike maneuvered himself to the edge of the cot after he donned his shirt and his leg-braces were back in place. He raised his arms like a child, a babyish smile on his face. "Cawwy me, dadwy."

"You," Angel hoisted Spike up over his shoulder, "are ridiculous."

"And your arse smells," Spike said.

"But at least it's a sexy ass, bony-buns," Angel retorted, smacking Spike on the backside.

"Yeah, if you're into lard-butts, it's sexy."

Angel's chuckle of amusement bounced off the tunnel walls as they made their way back to the apartment.