In Thirty-five Years


by Saber ShadowKitten



"Did you see them?"

"She had to be at least twice his age."

"Maybe she has money."

"Or he's a gigolo."

"Lydia!"


*****


"Did you see the hottie over by the bar?"

"The one with the bleached blond hair?"

"And those awesome cheek bones?"

"Yeah, that's the one. Major honey."

"Wouldn't mind being his fly."

"Wonder who he's here with."

"Let's follow him and find out."


*****


"The hussy."

"Marge, shame on you."

"Well, a woman of her age gallivanting around with that boy is ridiculous."

"Maybe they're in love."

"Right. And I'm Miss America."

"It could happen. You hear of May/December romances all the time. What about Tony Curtis?"

"She's in it for the money, he's in it for the sex, Georgia."

"You don't think those two have the same type of relationship, do you?"

"No. With them, he's in it for the money and she's in it for the sex."


*****


"I think he's here with his mom."

"They don't look anything alike."

"Why would someone as edible as him come with his mother?"

"Maybe he was planning on meeting someone here."

"Maybe like one of us?"

"Maybe. Why don't we go find out?"


*****


"Did you hear that boy mouth off to me?."

"Yes I heard. I couldn't believe it."

"Acting like he knew more about the war than I did."

"He wasn't even a twinkle in his grandmother's eye during World War II."

"Punk."

"Well, he went scurrying back to that woman when she called."

"She should have taught her son some manners."


*****


"Did you see that! He grabbed her butt!"

"Did not."

"Did, too. Right in front of me. And she laughed."

"Are you sure it wasn't a playful swat?"

"Playful swat? What have you been reading lately?"

"I'm going to make my move. Watch me."


*****


"That couple is lovely."

"It's hard to believe that they're together."

"He is rather young for her."

"But they are so very obviously in love."

"I wonder how long they've been married."

"Not long, unless she married him when he was in diapers."


*****


"Excuse me."

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if I could buy you a drink?"

"I'm sorry, pet, but I'm here with someone."

"I know, your mom. I don't think she'd mind."

"That's not my mum. That's my wife."

"No way. You have got to be kidding me."

"And why the bloody hell would I do that?"

"Jeez, sorry. Take a pill."


*****


"How long have you been married, dear?"

"Thirty-five years now."

"That's admirable. Most people today barely stay together for five."

"I know, but my husband is pretty stubborn. Once he makes a commitment, he stays, even when things go bad."

"It sounds like things have gone bad before."

"He was in a relationship before me for a very long time, even though she cheated on him."

"What happened?"

"He loved her and tried to win her back, but she died."

"That's too bad."

"I should agree with you, but then I would be lying."


*****


"That's his wife!"

"No."

"Yes! He told me himself."

"Can you say gross?"

"Majorly."

"She's so old and he's so fine."

"Life is too unfair."

"The skank."


*****


"Hello, luv."

"Where did you run off to?"

"Brazil. Then I thought better of it and came back to get you."

"You better have, or I'd have to hunt you down and stake you."

"I'd love to see you try, pet."

"Just watch me, blood breath."

"That I always do."

"Flatterer. Did you hear some of the conversations about us? I think I was called a hussy."

"This one twit thought you were my mum."

"Um, eww. I'd much rather be your master and you my boytoy."

"Isn't that how our bloody marriage is anyway?"

"That's the way it should be, dear."

"Remind me why I love you again, Slayer?"

"How about I show you instead, Spike."


End