Sanji strolled along the promenade, taking in the sights and sounds of Crescent Bay. The sun shone brightly overhead. A cool breeze tousled his blond hair. Crescent Bay was a populous island shaped like the waning moon, with a smattering of smaller islands surrounding it like stars. The summer islands were sprinkled with palms, hibiscus bushes, and fruit trees. The scent of citrus rode on the air.
Crescent Bay didn’t get many outside visitors. The island was not a destination of the tri-log pose. The Straw Hats were on the hunt for the last Road Poneglyph to lead them to the One Piece. Its whereabouts were unknown. Nami decided it was silly for them to go where the tri-log pose pointed, as that’s where every pirate went. She thought they might have a better chance of finding information on the islands scattered in between. Plus, it allowed Nami to continue drawing her map of the known world. Jinbe set a course in between two needles after they’d left Wano.
The Sunny sailed for three weeks before finding Crescent Bay. While it was good to be together again for an extended period as a crew – and having time to get to know their new member better – three weeks at sea could get long. Grateful for the respite, the crew disembarked at the harbor filled with smaller ships and scattered to explore the town. Sanji was happy to be left alone. It allowed him time to relax without being under watchful eyes.
Off the promenade was a field of green occupied by locals enjoying the day. Spectators gathered around a sports game involving a large ball and flat paddles. Families picnicked and flew kites. A group of women, around fifteen of them, danced in synchronization while wearing brightly colored dresses and scarves with tiny bells sewn on.
Dressed in an open-collar blue dress shirt and black trousers, shirt cuffs rolled mid-forearm, Sanji lit a cigarette and leaned against a nearby palm tree to watch the dancers. The sound of the bells and the intricate movements was a beauty to behold. Being able to like it without having to put on a show himself was a pleasant change. He rarely got to simply enjoy being in the presence of women without it becoming a thing. He could appreciate the dance for what it was, not for who was performing it. It was a hole he’d dug for himself and couldn’t see a way to escape, not without revealing the truth.
The hole started forming when Sanji was eleven on the Baratie. He learned back then that if he paid attention and gave women compliments, they would coo at him and appreciate it. The more he did it, the more they gave him positive attention. He was a cute kid and he used it to his advantage. He liked the way the attention made him feel, like he was wanted.
Zeff told him never to abuse a woman’s trust. If he was going to give women compliments, he needed to be sincere. Toying with a woman’s emotions was cruel. Considering Sanji’s emotions were the reason he was locked in a dungeon and then disowned, he vowed never to do that to a woman.
At fourteen, Zeff told him never to hit a woman under any circumstances, and to prevent another man from doing it if he could. Zeff had kicked a customer off the Baratie – literally; he’d flown about thirty feet before splashing into the sea – for hitting his date. Zeff sat Sanji down and told him a terrible story about Zeff’s dad hitting his mom for no reason, repeatedly, while he was growing up. Zeff made Sanji swear never to do the same. Sanji promised and took the words to heart.
The hole got deeper rapidly when puberty came with unexpected nosebleeds and erections, which kept him out of the dining area a lot of the time. Zeff reminded him about his promises as now a man, not a child, was flirting with the women. The other cooks and waitstaff ribbed him about pretty women and hard ons. But Sanji had figured out, quite quickly, that it wasn’t the women causing his nose to bleed, but their male dates. Their roughness and brawny musculature turned Sanji on, not the soft curves of women.
The mere thought of being different again, after a childhood like his, sent Sanji careening into denial. He went overboard with his flirting and worship of women. He forced his nose to bleed at the sight of the prettiest ones. He made himself seem interested when the staff talked dirty about all the things they liked to do with the vixen sitting at table five when Zeff wasn’t in earshot. And when he was alone in the shower, he felt ashamed when he jerked off to the thoughts of men.
Years passed, and Sanji joined the Straw Hat crew. Sanji hadn’t thought about the fact that he would be trapped on a small ship with Zoro when he signed on. Zoro was the right amount of rough to get Sanji’s blood pumping. Sanji made sure to throw himself at Nami every time he had the chance, to ensure no one onboard would find out his true desires. He already had buried his royal heritage deep.
Vivi joined them for a while, and then Robin came aboard, giving Sanji more opportunities to flirt and show adoration for women. He also did so at every port to the various attractive women who came into his orbit. It became such a habit that he didn’t have to think about it after a while. Women turned his eyes to hearts and his body to worship. It was instilled in him to be sincere and so he found things that he loved about women to hold onto, like their smell, their lovely hair, or their smile. Nami and Robin were easy to love because they were namaka. He wanted them to feel beautiful, cared for, and cherished. To them, and the rest of the crew, Sanji was the ultimate ladies’ man. Sanji kept his shameful secret hidden behind locked doors and in his imagination. The hole he’d dug was over his head.
No one ever questioned Sanji. No one let on they knew. Sanji was tight with all his nakama including Zoro, whose favorite thing to do was challenge Sanji with dares or annoy him with stupidity. He knew his friends inside and out, even though they didn’t know everything about him. He wasn’t that important, anyway. As long as he could continue to make them happy with his cooking or his company, he was content.
Then, they reached Sabaody Archipelago. The crew were separated by Bartholomew Kuma, and Sanji ended up on an island of nothing but Okama. Kamabakka Kingdom was filled with both transgender women and men who enjoyed dressing like women. It was a haven for men who had the heart of a maiden, however that was expressed.
Sanji was in hell. He’d spent years suppressing his desires for men and changed his entire personality to adore women. It was a cosmic joke that he’d be put in a place where what he wanted and what he was supposed to want came in one package.
He’d tried to avoid it at first. He insisted that he loved women born as women. After the initiation run, where the Okama tried to get him into a wig and a dress as was tradition – which led to him running so fast he ended up learning how to skywalk – Sanji did his best to isolate himself from the others. It didn’t work. Especially since they specialized in Attack Cuisine, which Sanji desperately wanted to learn. He also found it hard to resist skilled chefs who wanted to talk about food.
Slowly, Sanji relaxed. He made friends. He started to enjoy his time in Kamabakka Kingdom. And one night, when he had too much wine, he finally accepted the advances of the flirty gay men who dressed like women. And it was fantastic. He could pretend that he was with a woman and still be with a man. He got to experience what he’d imagined – and more – and not feel ashamed. For two years he got to be in their company. In the end, they did force him into the dress and wig, which he hated. He didn’t want to be a woman despite his desires for men. But he loved the Okama for what they’d given him, a chance to be himself, even if it was skewed.
Sanji’s return to Sabaody Archipelago slammed reality back home. He couldn’t let on what had happened, where he had been and who he had been with. He was supposed to be the ladies’ man of the crew. So he threw himself back into that role, hiding himself again behind excessive nosebleeds that threatened to kill him. No one would say he didn’t love women with that kind of reaction toward the mermaids. The fact that it was two Okama who’d saved his life by giving their blood wasn’t lost on Sanji.
More time passed, and Sanji fell back into his role as Straw Hat cook and female worshiper. He ended up in Nami’s body at one point, which he pretended to enjoy but didn’t – he still didn’t want to be a woman – and he and Brook perved it up. Sanji didn’t like the fact that he was getting more crass, treating Nami’s body like she didn’t matter. It made him feel sick, as the reasons he was doing it were to hide who he really was inside. Just as bad was the fact that he got to see his body, with Chopper inside, holding Zoro, hugging him, doing the things Sanji would never get to do.
Once they returned to their own bodies, Sanji did his best to treat Nami better without giving anything away. But Sanji’s secret about who really was came forcefully to the surface through an unexpected way: by an invitation to a marriage – his. The other truth Sanji had kept so carefully hidden was revealed to his nakama in a manner that caused shock and dismay. Sanji had always thought his world would come crashing down if they found out he was gay. Instead, it happened because he was a Prince.
Everything that Sanji had so carefully constructed about his life was yanked away from him. He was a child again, being called worthless, useless, a failure. His existence was a disgrace. He thought he’d be able to handle his family – he was a man now, twenty-one and battle hardened – but he’d failed in that, too. The option to allow the entire Vinsmoke family, including himself, to be wiped out was presented to him and he’d almost taken it. But Luffy had been there, waiting for him, a loyal and true friend, and Sanji was saved.
It took Sanji almost until they’d reached Crescent Bay to come to grips with what had happened on Whole Cake Island and after the Vinsmoke genetic modifications kicked during his fight with Queen on Wano. Some of the crew looked at him differently, knowing he’d been a Prince without having told them. It was subtle, but there, in the jokes or comments about his clothing or table manners. Jinbe hadn’t known him as anything else and Zoro and Luffy didn’t care, but the others felt like they needed to get to know him all over again. He found himself being treated differently, one of his biggest fears, that it made his other secret feel that much more important to hide.
Sanji watched the women dance for a while longer before eventually moving on. He inhaled a final drag off his cigarette and stubbed it out beneath his foot. He picked up the butt, tossed it in a trash can, and ambled toward the shopping district with his hands in his pockets. Street vendors with colorful stalls sold produce, fish, and locally crafted wares. A few stands sold cold drinks and street food. Sanji wandered without purpose, stopping here or there when something caught his eye.
The lilting voices of the locals calling out to one another, chatting about families, their work, or their day, kept Sanji company as he browsed. Sanji spotted a vendor selling colorful ascots, scarves, and ties and he meandered that direction, weaving through the throng of patrons out shopping that day. He paused in his step when he neared, seeing two brunet-wigged Okama standing beside the stall. They were both tall, muscular, and dressed similarly in flowery blouses and short, flouncy skirts of red and gold.
Sanji glanced around but saw none of the crew. He approached the stall and began fingering through the ties. They were all well made with colorful stripes or patterns. The elderly vendor was seated in a chair in the shade, fanning herself. He cut a glance at the Okama, nerves and hope sliding around him. These were people whom he could be himself with, if only to say hello.
The Okama noticed him glancing at them and the one with the red lipstick and stubble smiled. “Hello, handsome. Are you curious about something?”
“No,” Sanji said, fiddling with one of the ties. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen an Okama. Not since Kamabakka Kingdom.”
“Kamabakka Kingdom!” The other Okama, with gold lipstick and a scar over an eye, sounded excited. “You’ve been there?”
Sanji nodded. “I lived there for a couple years.”
The Okama quickly introduced themselves as Patty and Mickey. “You have to come over to our place and tell us all about it,” Patty, with the red lipstick, told him.
“Yes, please do,” Mickey said. “It’s our dream to go there one day.”
“I’d love to,” Sanji said, and meant it. Still, he was wary of running across the crew. He motioned ties. “Let me make my purchase and I’ll catch up.”
“Head up that street there for five blocks.” Mickey pointed to a street that angled off to the north. “Then turn left and go down six buildings. We’re in the blue building on the right.”
“I’m going to stop and get us some crackers and wine,” Patty said.
Sanji smiled to himself as they hurried off and took the time to go through the ties properly. He selected three, paid for them, and accepted the slim package the vendor wrapped them in. He had a spring in his step as he ventured down the angled street and took a left five blocks down. The two floor buildings on the street were painted in all different colors. He spotted Mickey standing in one of two doorways leading into the blue building. Behind Mickey, he could see a set of steps leading up.
“Come on in,” Mickey told him. “We’re on the upper floor.”
Patty walked up behind Sanji, arms loaded with bags. “I got the supplies!” The Okama skirted past Sanji, heading for the door.
Sanji took a look around him. There were other people on the street, walking to and from their own homes, but he didn’t see any familiar faces. Smiling to himself, he followed the Okama inside.
Patty and Mickey were good hosts with a great taste in wine. Laughter and drinks flowed, as Sanji told them all about Kamabakka Kingdom. He whipped up a delicious dinner for them all in their tiny kitchen, and they sat around the chabudai on pale orange zabuton pillows eating and chatting about life in Crescent Bay and on the seas. When they flirted with him, he flirted back, and by the time dessert was done, he had two different hands on his thighs and an invitation to stay the night.
Sanji dressed in the morning while Patty and Mickey sat around in frilly bathrobes drinking tea. He’d been filled and fulfilled by a night of passion, taken between two gay Okama men wearing their flouncy skirts while Sanji pretended that they were real women. Sanji had been relieved to find his exoskeleton had not altered his ability to feel pleasure. He made sure to give plenty in return. Patty and Mickey changed into satin babydolls partway through the night, to cuddle with Sanji as they slept. They had another romp as the sun rose over the horizon, but now, reluctantly, Sanji had to be on his way.
“I know you will make it to Kamabakka Kingdom one day,” Sanji told them as he made his leave. “Never give up on your dreams.”
They kissed him goodbye, then wiped the lipstick off his face before sending him on his way. Sanji went down the stairs with a lively gait. He felt good, relaxed. The last vestiges of Vinsmoke had been cleansed away, knowing he could still feel everything, and he got to be nothing more than himself for an evening, even if he still playacted that he was with women when he was really with men.
Sanji opened the door to the street and stepped outside into the sunny morning. He shaded his eyes with his tie package at the bright change in lighting from the dim stairwell. A few people called greetings to each other as they headed off to work or to begin a day of fun. A citrus scent stirred on the breeze. Sanji pulled the door shut behind him and turned to leave, but froze when he saw a familiar green head. Zoro was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall of the building directly across the street.
The world dropped out from beneath Sanji’s feet. His throat closed and he couldn’t move. His pulse started racing from fear. What was Zoro doing here? He couldn’t have picked this street, that building, watching this door at random.
Zoro pushed to his feet, dusted off the back of his coat, and crossed the empty street to meet Sanji. He wore his usual long olive-green coat, red sash, and green haramaki. His forearm rested on the hilts of his katanas. He appeared tired and a little dirty, as if he’d slept on the street. “About time you came out. I need to piss.”
Sanji stared at Zoro with wide, horrified eyes. “How- how long have you been here?”
“Since yesterday afternoon. Saw you go inside with those Okama and got worried that you were too stupid to understand that they weren’t women. When you didn’t come out again, I figured you were okay with it.”
Zoro knew. Zoro had seen him and knew. “Why didn’t you leave?” Sanji asked in a dread-filed whisper.
“Nami threatened to fine me a hundred thousand Beli if I got lost, and I figured since I knew where you were, I’d stay put.” Zoro stretched his arms overhead, then twisted his torso from side to side. “Didn’t realize you’d be in there all night.”
Sanji locked his knees as they started to shake, and his chest felt tight. Zoro knew. Zoro knew he spent the night with Okama. Zoro wasn’t that stupid to not understand what that meant. Sweat dampened Sanji’s brow and he felt a shortness of breath. The feeling of losing control of his carefully cultivated life, for the second time, threatened to overwhelm him.
Zoro frowned at him. “You okay? You look pale.”
Sanji laughed with a hysterical edge. Was he okay? His world was about to shatter again and Zoro asked if he was okay?
“Oi, cook.” Zoro grabbed Sanji’s arms, as Sanji began wheezing. “What’s wrong? You sick?”
Sanji couldn’t seem to catch his breath. His head swam. It was possible he was going to pass out and bring more humiliation on himself. He suddenly found himself moving, Zoro propelling him down the street to the nearest bench. Zoro pushed Sanji down onto it and shoved his head between his knees. “Breathe, idiot.”
The shock of finding his head forced abruptly upside down snapped Sanji out of it. He found his breath again, and his wits. He set his tie package on his lap and pressed the base of his hands hard against his eyes for a moment, wanting the ground to swallow him.
Zoro’s hand rested on the nape of his neck. Concern laced his voice, even if his words were blunt. “You good now?”
“Hn.” Sanji would likely never be good again. Zoro knew. “You can let go of me now.”
Zoro removed his hand and Sanji straightened up. Sanji brushed his hair back into place before standing. He couldn’t be perceived as weak, not now, even if he was falling apart inside. He gathered his defenses around him, the ones that got him through dealing with his family and its aftermath. “Are you going to say anything to the others?”
“Say what?” Zoro frowned in confusion. “You mean about where you spent the night? Why would I do that? Who you sleep with is your own business.”
Sanji was relieved, but it still didn’t soothe the fact that Zoro knew. He had to ask, forcing out the words, “Do you care that they were… you know?”
“Why should I?” Something came into Zoro’s good eye and he started scrutinizing Sanji. “Do you care?”
Did Sanji care that they were Okama? Did he care that Zoro knew who he’d been with last night? Shame over his sexuality flooded him, replacing the horror about being discovered. He looked away from Zoro, fumbling for a cigarette in his shirt pocket. He wanted to disappear.
Zoro made a sound of exasperation. “Idiot. There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” he said, as if seeing into Sanji’s mind. “So you like guys, or guys that dress like girls, or whatever. So what?”
“You don’t understand,” Sanji murmured in a pained tone.
“Why wouldn’t I understand?” Zoro said. “I’m gay, and you don’t see me acting like I’ve done something wrong.”
Sanji’s gaze whipped to him. “You’re gay?”
“Yeah. Thought it was obvious.” Zoro scratched his cheek. “You didn’t know?”
“How the hell would I know something like that? You never said anything.”
Zoro shrugged. “Like I said, who you sleep with is your own business. Same goes for me.”
Sanji felt like a line had been tossed to him after he’d gone overboard. “Does anyone know? On the ship?”
“Yeah. Luffy, and the girls. Probably Usopp and Chopper, too, though they’ve never said,” Zoro replied. “I don’t think Brook does, since he made a comment about my sleeping with Hiyori back in Wano Country. Not sure about Franky or Jinbe.” Zoro’s mouth curved in a bemused smile. “Sometimes, Luffy tries to set me up, which is nice of him but also very disturbing.”
“And they don’t…,” Sanji ventured tentatively, “...they don’t care?”
Zoro stared at him like he was stupid. “Wouldn’t be nakama if they did.”
“Oh.” It couldn’t be that easy. Sanji knew that he’d somehow be seen as weak or a failure because of this. He was supposed to be a ladies man, after all. “I never thought that someone else on the crew might be different.”
“Don’t think of myself as different,” Zoro told him. “It’s normal for me. Normal for you, too, I guess, when you think no one’s around.”
Silently, Sanji denied Zoro’s words. It wasn’t normal. Normal was liking women, wanting to have sex with them. He’d been telling himself this since he was fourteen. The buildings appeared to be closing in on him. He sucked on his cigarette, clutching the tie package tightly in his hand, causing the cardboard to crumple. His chest started to tighten again.
Zoro glanced up at the sky. “C’mon. Nami said yesterday that I needed to be back to the ship by mid-morning or she’d charge me.”
Sanji suddenly realized they were still on the street, having a conversation about his dirty secret in public. He felt eyes staring at him, even though no one was paying attention to them. Shoulders hunched, he quickly started walking in the direction of the ship. Zoro fell into step beside him.
“You know, this does actually explain a lot about your ridiculous, over-the-top behavior around women,” Zoro commented. “I should’ve seen through it. Might’ve stopped me from wanting to gouge my eyes out. Or eye, now.” He grinned like he made a funny joke about losing his eye.
Sanji was too busy staving off a second panic attack to be listening to Zoro. Zoro knew. Zoro didn’t care. Zoro was gay. The others didn’t care. Sanji’s entire identity was wrapped around this shameful secret that he carried and now he learned his sexuality might not have mattered. His early childhood had traumatized him to the point that being seen as something other than what people wanted meant that he hated himself sometimes, and now was one of them.
They walked the rest of the way to the harbor in silence. Zoro stepped in front of Sanji once they were on the main deck of the Sunny, blocking his path. Concern creased Zoro’s features. “You gonna be okay?”
Sanji wanted to shout at Zoro that no, he wasn’t going to be okay. He may have destroyed his own well-being for something his nakama might have accepted. Sanji wanted to flee to the safety of his galley and flagellate himself for being a different kind of disgrace. “I’m fine,” he lied.
Zoro’s expression showed he didn’t believe Sanji, but he thankfully didn’t press. “I’m here, you know. If you ever want to talk. I know we don’t do it much, but the offer’s there. You’ve been closed off since you got back a few months ago, even though you put on a good face. I get the need to work through shit on your own, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
Sanji didn’t say anything. Couldn’t. His throat had tightened up. He didn’t know why.
Zoro laid his hand on Sanji’s shoulder briefly, giving it a squeeze. “Think about it. I’ll be around,” he said, before ambling off.
Sanji pressed his crumpled new ties in the laundry area down in the hold on the Thousand Sunny. Like everything on the ship, the laundry was powered by a combination of water and cola. An industrial sized washer and dryer stood at the ready to take on the ten-person’s crew dirty laundry, although on nice days they hung their wash out to dry. Sanji was really the only person who bothered with the ironing board, although on occasion Robin or Nami might use it.
Smoke curled from Sanji’s cigarette into the air. It had been a few days since they’d left Crescent Bay and Sanji had done his best to pretend nothing had happened. Zoro didn’t say anything as promised, nor did he look at Sanji any differently than usual. There were no sideways glances or hints of concern. Zoro treated Sanji like he always did, with a combination of annoyance and idiocy. Sanji would’ve thought the whole thing was only a nightmare if not for the ties.
Of course, pretending nothing had happened and having internal torment went hand-in-hand with Sanji. He alternated between hating himself, denying that Zoro could be right, and being depressed over the fact that his life could have been so much different since joining the crew if he’d known Zoro was gay at the start. So much of Sanji’s personality was wrapped up in being a ladies man that he wouldn’t know how to act if he were to let it go. Being able to feed people was the most important thing to him, but was a chef all he was? Did he have any character beyond that? Or was he a waste of space who could cook well?
Sanji had thought he had dealt with the issues that his unhappy reunion with the Vinsmokes had stirred up, but Zoro had inadvertently caused them to come rushing back. They mainly focused on the idea that he was a failure. But instead of being a failure to his former family, he was a failure to himself. He hadn’t been brave enough, strong enough to be true to himself. He’d cowered behind a facade of nosebleeds and over-the-top behavior toward women. He’d allowed his fears to conquer the core of his very being. It was disgusting. He was disgusting.
But how did he fix it? How did he find a way out of this hole he had dug for himself that rose so far above his head that he could barely see the surface? Sanji laid a neatly pressed tie aside and put another on the ironing board. He puffed on his cigarette in thought. There had to be an answer. He knew if he kept beating himself up he might do something stupid, like when he’d contemplated suicide by marriage ceremony. Luffy had gone through the effort of saving Sanji and Sanji couldn’t let his captain down by drowning himself in the sea. No, he needed to work this out.
There was Zoro’s offer to talk, but the thought of it made Sanji nauseous. He didn’t think he could say any of the shit going through his brain out loud. It would make it even more real. Ignoring it wouldn’t do any good, though, since he constantly felt a moment away from an anxiety attack. He wanted that to stop. Maybe he could just stop fawning over women and see what happened. But that would lead to questions about his health and then he’d have to tell everyone the truth. He felt like jumping overboard merely thinking about it.
Maybe if he did it gradually? So slowly that the crew thought nothing of it when he finally stopped altogether. People could have a personality change over time, right? Or maybe he could provoke someone into telling him that he was actually insulting women, which is something he never wanted to do, and it would give him the excuse to alter his behavior.
But who would say that to him? Sanji flipped the tie over and pressed the maker’s tag. Brook was always asking to see women’s panties, so he would never do it. Luffy, Usopp, Chopper and Franky didn’t care about his behavior. The ladies? No, if they hadn’t said anything by now, they weren’t going to. Jinbe was new to the crew and he might not want to speak up while he was still getting his footing. That only left Zoro.
Sanji exhaled a puff of smoke. Zoro thought his behavior was ridiculous toward women and he’d never been shy at stating that fact. He’d never mentioned it was offensive that Sanji could remember, or otherwise he’d ignored it. If Sanji could get Zoro to tell him that his behavior was insulting in front of the crew, it would go a long way toward believability. Sanji would probably have to ask Zoro to do it, though, and would likely have to explain why. Despite Sanji calling Zoro an idiot, he wasn’t one. Zoro simply didn’t care much about trivialities or decorum. But he did care about his nakama, and he would do this for Sanji if asked.
Sanji sighed in grudging reluctance that it was probably the best idea he was going to have if he wanted to keep his sanity. Which meant he was going to have to talk to Zoro sometime today, before he chickened out.
Sanji found Zoro hanging off the back of the ship, doing sit-ups. Sanji leaned against the rail next to him, a new cigarette between his lips. The mid-morning sun shone brightly in the blue sky. Sanji looked out over the ocean, watching their wake create waves as the wind buffeted the Sunny’s sails. A large bird flew overhead, on its way somewhere to deliver the mail.
“I need you to tell me that my behavior towards Nami-san and Robin-chan is insulting to women,” Sanji told Zoro without any preface. If he didn’t get the request out, he might not say it at all.
Zoro stopped counting long enough to say, “Okay.”
When he didn’t say anything else, Sanji frowned. “Don’t you want to know why?”
“If it gets you to stop acting stupidly around women, I’m all for it. Don’t need a reason.”
Sanji switched the cigarette from one side of his mouth to another, as Zoro went back to counting. He was in the three thousands. “I’m going to fix drinks for everyone. Be on the main deck when I come out.”
Zoro grunted between counts in response.
Sanji headed for the galley. Since it was mid-morning on a warm day, sherbet fizzes would be a refreshing drink. Naturally, Sanji couldn’t serve drinks without food. He whipped together fruit compote to go with the drinks. He exchanged Luffy’s fruit for meat and added marshmallows to Chopper’s dish. Franky’s fizz was made with cola. He put all the treats on a large tray, hoisted it easily on the tips of his fingers above his shoulder, and made his way outside to the deck.
The green grass waved slightly in the breeze on the main deck. Brook pushed Chopper on the swing tied to the tree. Nami and Robin sat in the tree’s shade with their heads together, pouring over one of Nami’s maps. Jinbe, Luffy, and Usopp were fishing over the side rail. Franky was working on his tan in a barely-there speedo. It was a normal lazy mid-morning aboard the Sunny while at sea.
Sanji carried his tray down to the deck, putting on a smile. Inside, nerves threatened to make him falter. What if Zoro ignored Sanji’s request? What if he didn’t show up? What if Zoro told everyone that he’d caught Sanji sleeping with Okama? Sanji took a drag on his cigarette, trying to let the nicotine soothe him. It didn’t work.
“Mid-morning snack, anyone?” Sanji asked, managing not to reveal his inner turmoil in his voice. He set the tray down on a short, round table that was normally used for books or a chess game. He didn’t see Zoro anywhere. Chopper jumped off the swing, and Luffy and Usopp came over quickly.
“Meat!” Luffy said excitedly, grabbing his own dish. Sanji allowed it and the captain happily gobbled it down.
“Thanks, Sanji,” Franky said, when Sanji brought his sherbet cola to him. Jinbe and Brook took their dishes and drinks from the tray with words of thanks as well.
Normally, Sanji would’ve served the ladies first, but he’d been waiting for Zoro. It would be weird to wait any longer. Chopper and Usopp sat in the grass near Franky and began having their snack. Sanji picked up two of the last three drinks in one hand and two of the last three dishes in the other and brought them over to where Nami and Robin sat.
“Nami-swan, Robin-chwan,” Sanji gushed. “I have created beautiful drinks and snacks in honor of your beautiful faces!”
“Thank you, Sanji-kun,” Nami told him, accepting a drink and a dish of fruit compote.
Robin smiled at him, taking hers. “It looks lovely, Sanji-san.”
“Oi, cook,” Zoro’s voice came from behind him and Sanji half-turned in relief. Zoro’s bare chest and face held a sheen of sweat from his workout. A towel hung around his neck. He walked barefoot down the steps from the back of the ship, joining them on the main deck. “Isn’t that insulting, comparing a woman to food?”
Sanji played his part. “Not when the complement is made with love for the lovely beauties before me.”
Zoro snorted. “You call that love? I call it perversion. Tell me, how many women have you made feel uncomfortable because of your so-called ‘love’? Throwing yourself at them, getting nosebleeds because you’re horny, and generally making an ass of yourself thinking it’ll get you attention. If I were a woman, I sure as hell wouldn’t want you anywhere near me. But I’m not a woman.” Zoro turned to Nami and Robin. “What do you two think?”
Sanji looked at Nami and Robin. He could see in both their faces that they agreed with Zoro and it crushed him, even though being told his behavior was insulting was the point. But he hadn’t stopped to think how much he’d hurt Nami and Robin over the years and how it would make him feel to have it held up to his face. He cared for both of them so much, as their nakama. Hurting them gutted him.
“Sanji-kun can be a bit much at times, but his heart is in the right place,” Nami said diplomatically.
Sanji favored her with a weak smile. “Nami-san is nice to say that, but I can see you think he is right. Both of you.”
Robin gave Sanji a regretful look. “I am sorry, Sanji-san. Neither of us wished to hurt your feelings.”
“It’s alright, Robin-chan.” Plan or not, Sanji felt his heart breaking. “We can’t always see our own faults.”
Sanji left the tray with the single dish and glass on it, for Zoro, and retreated to the galley. Before the door swung shut, he could hear the conversation drift to him from the deck.
“Do you think we did the right thing, telling him the truth?” Nami said.
“He needed to hear it,” Zoro replied bluntly.
“It would be nice if Sanji-san could stop trying so hard to impress us,” Robin said. “He does not need to do so. We already care greatly for him.”
Robin’s words were a balm. Sanji knew, logically, that his nakama cared for him, but to hear it being said allowed him to believe it more. And though he’d inadvertently caused them distress over the years with his antics to prove he wasn’t gay, he could make it up to them by being a better version of himself.
It was actually harder for Sanji to stop than he’d anticipated. His behavior toward Nami and Robin was almost automatic. It took him a while to get used to not fawning over them with hearts in his eyes and bowing at their feet. He still treated them with the respect they deserved, but it was as friends and not anything more.
Once he no longer felt the urge to fake hit on them to disguise himself, Sanji found it easy to stop doing it with other women. He even kicked Brook’s ass for asking to see a woman’s panties, telling him to stop being disgusting, when in the past Sanji would have joined in. Sanji didn’t tell anyone he was gay, but he didn’t need to chase women anymore to prove anything.
Tridacna Island was aptly named, as it appeared to be a giant open clamshell with the town as its pearl. The buildings and residences were built from iridescent stone that changed colors in the sunlight. The locals wore form fitting, colorful dive suits. The Sunny was still traveling between the log pose routes, searching for clues to the last Road Poneglyph. Another pirate ship was docked in the busy harbor, flying an unknown Jolly Roger. Nami eyed it speculatively as she passed out Beli.
“Don’t start a war,” she warned Luffy before he catapulted into town. Brook and Franky followed him at a slower pace.
Nami stopped Jinbe, Robin, Usopp and Zoro from leaving. Chopper was hooked up to the supply cart, and when Nami didn’t stop them, he and Sanji headed down the gangplank. They needed to restock the Sunny. While Sanji had plenty of dry, unprocessed, and salt-packed food, he needed to replenish his fresh produce and meat supplies. Chopper joined him to restock on medical herbs, bandages, and other equipment.
Sanji glanced back at the ship to spot Nami talking intently with the others, gesturing to the other pirate ship. “Wonder what Nami’s got up her sleeve.”
“She’s probably worried about the other pirates,” Chopper commented. “What if they’re a dangerous crew?”
“Then we’ll take care of them,” Sanji said confidently. He lit a cigarette. “C’mon, let’s get our supplies.”
The two headed out of the port and into the town proper. It didn’t take long for them to find the shops selling the items they needed. The town was set up to cater to ships stopping by. A majority of the shops were close to the harbor itself. Locals and visitors mingled together on the pebbled streets. Visitors ranged in dress from casual to working men there to do trade. Sanji spotted a few marine uniforms, but not many. Possibly a small contingent on the island.
Dressed in a full suit and tie, with an orange shirt, Sanji appeared overdressed but he didn’t pay it any mind. He felt comfortable in his suits. He liked having a tidy appearance. While sometimes he dressed in casual clothing, he preferred to be gussied up. Whether that was a commentary on his heritage or his sexuality, Sanji didn’t know. He tried not to think about it.
Sanji and Chopper wandered in and out of shops, adding supplies to their cart until it was overflowing. It took several hours to find everything they felt they needed to feel secure being at sea for extended periods of time. Since Nami was having them explore this part of the Grand Line, it meant they could go a month or two before coming upon a new island. Their last stop was two weeks back and the time before that lasted five weeks. They’d left Wano nearly four months ago.
The sun was starting to settle on the horizon by the time Chopper and Sanji made it back to the ship. Nami was standing by the rail, looking self-satisfied. “Oh good, you’re back,” she said, as they traversed the gangplank. “I’m heading into town. Jinbe should be back at sunset to take over watch.”
“We’ll be here,” Sanji assured her. It usually took about two hours to unpack everything and store it properly.
Nami gave them both a sunny smile, slung a bag over her shoulder, checked her clima-tact, and departed.
Sanji and Chopper got busy unloading the cart, transferring the items to various places on the ship. Sanji kept many non-perishables in the hold with more frequently used unprocessed items in the storage room off the galley. Fresh meat went into the freezer to be taken out as needed. Produce was stored either in the refrigerator or in the hold.
By the time they were done, night had settled and Jinbe was back on the Sunny. He nodded goodbye as Sanji and Chopper headed down the gangplank to go back into town for relaxation and enjoyment.
“Hey, there’s Zoro,” Chopper said, pointing ahead of them.
Sanji was surprised to see Zoro standing at the end of the dock. He wore his usual long olive-colored coat, red sash, and green haramaki. The light from the lampposts caused his hair to look viridian rather than marimo green. “What’re you doing here, mosshead?”
“Don’t know.” Zoro glanced around him. “I was heading for the bar but somehow ended up back here.”
Sanji snorted. “Of course you did. Come on. We’re heading that way ourselves.”
Zoro fell into step on the other side of Sanji. “Find all the supplies?”
Sanji nodded, and Chopper piped up. “We did! I even found a new ophthalmoscope that wasn’t expensive. That doesn’t make me happy at all.” Chopper’s dance contradicted his words.
They wove through the streets away from the portside shipping buildings until they reached the closest bar. Like all harbor-side taverns, it looked seedy and battleworn. Inside, gas lamps hung from old ship helms suspended on chains from the ceiling. Barrels supported tables and rickety chairs filled a majority of the floor space. A bar counter ran along the back of the room with stools in front of it. A stage graced another wall with a piano situated in the corner.
The patrons consisted mainly of visitors to the island as evidenced by their dress. Sanji spotted a few pirates – possibly from the other pirate ship in the harbor – and a lone marine. Franky raised his hand from near the stage. “Oi! Over here.”
Sanji, Zoro, and Chopper wound their way between the tables. They joined Usopp, Brook, and Franky, stealing an extra unused chair. A barmaid with a very revealing dress came over to take orders. Brook asked to see her panties. She smacked him in the head with her tray.
Sanji caught Zoro looking at him, while Chopper asked about their sweet drinks. “What are you staring at, marimo?”
Zoro glanced over to the barmaid then back at Sanji with an approving grin. “Nothing.”
“Tch. Idiot.” Sanji smiled politely at the barmaid when she came to his and Zoro’s side of the round table. “My apologies for my crewmate,” he said, indicating to Brook. “Though I admire your skill with the tray.”
The barmaid smirked. “Ain’t the first time someone’s tried to get in my knickers. Won’t be the last.”
Sanji ordered, and Zoro followed suit. Zoro was still grinning at him when she left. “If you don’t stop, I’m going to kick that grin right off your face,” Sanji told him.
“LIke to see you try,” Zoro responded on cue, though there was no heat to it.
The barmaid brought their drinks and refills for Franky, Usopp, and Brook. The six of them chatted about what they’d gotten up to all day. Chopper gushed about his ophthalmoscope. Usopp talked about the spices he’d found to create new ammunition pellets. Zoro mentioned seeing most of the island, which meant he’d gotten lost as usual. Their conversation flowed freely and easily. Spending weeks together on a ship did nothing to damper their enjoyment of each other’s company on land.
The piano player struck up a tune and Franky cheered. “Here they come!”
Attention turned toward the stage. Five dancing girls came out, swishing their frilly skirts, kicking up their legs, flashing the crowd with satin-covered derrieres. Brook whistled. Usopp passed out. Franky stood up and started posing in his own dances. Chopper bounced on his seat to the lively music. Other men in the tavern hooted and hollered.
Zoro sat back, his black eye sparkling with amusement. Contentment radiated from him. Sanji thought it might be the first time he’d seen Zoro like this. Usually, they’d be fighting, or Sanji would be too busy frothing over the girls to pay attention to him. But Sanji didn’t have to put on a show anymore, did he? Now, he could be with his nakama and pay attention to them, not every skirt that passed by.
Sanji leaned back in his chair, sipping his locally crafted beer, watching his friends enjoy themselves. He realized that he felt content and at ease with himself. He was no longer Prince Vinsmoke. He wasn’t a womanizer. He was only Sanji.
It must’ve reflected on his face, because Zoro leaned closer so Sanji could hear him. “You seem happy. It’s a good look on you.”
Sanji’s lips spread into a smile. “I believe I am.”
Zoro clinked his beer glass against Sanji’s and took a swig before leaning back in his chair again. The piano music switched to a different lively tune and dancing girls performed another routine involving fans and a lot of cleavage. Franky ran over beside the stage and added his own fanfare. Brook and Chopper cheered for him. Usopp was still passed out.
Sanji felt eyes on him and he glanced in that direction. He spotted someone watching him from the bar. The vivid blue eyes belonged to a tall, brawny man, with short, spikey blond hair and muscles barely contained by his black shirt. Sanji could tell the shirt was quality, and it was tucked into sharply pressed black trousers. A gold, stylized lion buckle adorned the belt around his waist.
Heat bloomed beneath Sanji’s collar and in his trousers. The man was the type that Sanji was attracted to, though dressed much nicer. But why was the guy looking at him?
Zoro noticed Sanji’s focus and glanced over toward the bar and then back at Sanji. His eyebrow climbed. He sounded surprised when he spoke. “That’s the type you actually like?”
“Shut up,” Sanji hissed, ducking his chin, hiding his blushing cheeks. He quickly looked at his nakama at the table, then at the tables around them. “Someone might hear.”
“Pft. No one is paying attention to us, except that guy at the bar.” Zoro glanced over at the man again. “You gonna go and hit on him?”
“No.” Sanji was mortified. Why would Zoro even ask that? The guy was a guy-guy and Sanji couldn’t approach someone like him. Everyone would see. Everyone would know.
“Why not? He looks interested, and you’re obviously interested.” Zoro studied Sanji. “Or are you still hung up on that being-different thing?”
Sanji definitely was still hung up on the being-different thing. He cut another glance at the man standing at the bar. There was no way he could go over there and do anything about it.
Zoro sighed. “You should’ve come and talked to me, idiot.”
He stood, and Sanji panicked. “What are you doing?”
“Being your friend.” Zoro carried his nearly empty beer with him over to the bar. Sanji stared in horror as Zoro easily struck up a conversation with the man, after ordering a refill. The man scribbled something on a napkin and handed it to Zoro before heading out of the bar. Sanji watched him go, then whipped his gaze back to Zoro.
Zoro collected his beer and returned to the table. He straddled his seat as he sat down. “What did you do? What did you say to him?” Sanji said, agitated, pitching his voice low.
Zoro passed Sanji the napkin. “He’ll meet you here.”
Sanji’s face felt like it was on fire. “I can’t do that!”
“Yeah, you can.” Zoro kicked Sanji’s chair, and Sanji scrambled to his feet before it fell out from under him. Chopper and Brook, plus a few others from different tables glanced over, then dismissed it. “Go and get laid by someone who looks like an actual man. Maybe you’ll start to accept yourself, then.”
Sanji glared at Zoro, clenching the napkin in his fist. His gaze darted around the room. No one was paying any attention to him. He could leave and no one would notice, except for his nakama.
Zoro anticipated his words. “I’ll make excuses for you, love cook. Get out of here.”
Was Sanji really going to do this? He looked at Zoro again, this time with apprehension. Zoro gave him a nod of encouragement. Sanji hesitated a moment longer before leaving.
Sanji didn’t give himself time to back out. He made a beeline for the motel scribbled on the napkin. He’d passed it on his earlier supply run and knew where it was located. Two floors with exterior room entrances rose up in front of him on a quieter side street near the harbor. Sanji took the outside steps to the upper level and stopped in front of room 209.
Sanji’s heart hammered in his chest and sweat dampened his armpits beneath his suit coat and shirt. He anxiously combed his fingers through his hair as he glanced around. No one was outside to see him. If he knocked on this door, there was no going back to pretending he was sleeping with women even though they had cocks.
Sanji blew out a nervous breath, drew himself to his full height, and knocked.
Sanji walked back to the Sunny the following morning with a grin on his face. His tie was tucked into his pocket, his shirt collar unbuttoned. He carried his suit coat in his hand. Smoke from his cigarette curled into the air. He felt both content and weirdly ecstatic, like he’d conquered a particularly delicate recipe and it came out perfectly. None of the embarrassment nor self-recrimination he’d expected happened. He’d spent the night being very well fucked by a man who looked, sounded, and acted like a man and nothing terrible had come from it. No one was giving him degenerate looks and his brain wasn’t telling himself that he was depraved. He felt… alive.
Whistling softly to himself, he strode along the dock to where the Sunny was berthed. There seemed to be action happening on the other pirate ship. Sanji ascended the gangplank and found his crewmates bustling around.
“Sanji, you’re back. Great.” Franky pointed at the lines securing the Sunny to the pier. “Get ready to untether us. Brook should be back with Zoro and Luffy soon.”
Sanji drew on his suit coat. “What’s going on?”
“Seems our pirate neighbors have noticed that Nami lightened their load yesterday. She wants to set sail before we get into a fight.”
Sanji grinned. “That’s our Nami-san.”
“Right?” Franky held out his hand for a high five and Sanji obliged. “I’m going below in case we need a coup de burst. Cast off when you spot the others.”
“Will do.” Sanji jumped down from the ship, landing nimbly at the rear deck cleat. He unwound the rope from the cleat and tossed the end into the water. He knew Usopp would winch it back into the ship. He went over to the other cleat at the bow of the Sunny to wait.
He didn’t have to wait long. Luffy was riding upside down on Zoro's head for some reason as Zoro and Brook jogged onto the dock. Luffy sprang from Zoro onto the Sunny’s figurehead when they were within reach. Sanji unwound the second rope as Brook and Zoro ascended to the ship. He leapt to the edge of the gangplank as it began pulling in and joined his crew onboard.
The front sail unfurled, catching the wind. Sanji could hear the winch winding the mooring ropes. Jinbe turned the helm and the Sunny set sail. Ruckus suddenly came from the other pirate ship in the harbor. It appeared they figured out where their belongings had gone.
Zoro met Sanji at the back of the ship, coming up to lean against the rail beside him as they sailed from the harbor. They both watched the other pirate ship hustle to cast off. “Think they’ll catch up?” Zoro said.
“Hn. Maybe. Depends on if Franky gets the order to give us a burst.”
Zoro grinned. “Wouldn’t mind a fight instead.”
“Of course you wouldn’t.” Sanji ashed his cigarette over the rail. He was feeling pretty good himself and wouldn’t mind a tussle.
Zoro nudged his shoulder against Sanji’s. “So was the guy hung?”
Sanji had been in the middle of taking another drag off his cigarette. He sputtered and coughed smoke. He felt his face turn fuchsia. Zoro threw his head back and laughed. Sanji kicked him to the other end of the rail. “Shut up!”
Zoro grinned unrepentantly. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Stop- you can’t- don’t say things like that out loud!” Sanji dragged a hand through his hair. “What if someone hears you?”
Zoro walked back to Sanji’s side, leaning backwards, resting his elbows on the rail. “Relax. No one can hear us, love cook. They’re on the other side of the ship.”
“You still shouldn’t talk about that stuff out loud, you uncouth bastard,” Sanji muttered. He puffed with awkwardness on his cigarette. His cheeks still felt hot.
“At least you got laid. I struck out.” Zoro crossed one ankle casually over the other. “Ended up babysitting Chopper and Usopp instead.”
Sanji cut a side glance at Zoro, curiosity piqued. He wondered what Zoro's type was. He hadn’t seemed interested in the man who’d been into Sanji. Sanji didn’t dare ask, though. He wasn’t ready to hold that kind of conversation. Bad enough that Zoro was talking about sex as it was.
“Do you feel better?” Zoro asked, turning his head to check on the other pirate ship’s progress. The other ship had barely left the dock. They probably wouldn’t catch up unless they had a speed enhancement of their own.
“About?”
“Sleeping with a man.”
Sanji’s shoulders tensed and he compulsively checked around them. But Zoro had been right before, they were alone on the narrow walkway at the rear of the ship. “Why do you want to know?”
Zoro rolled his eye. “You’re such a pain in the ass. Why do you think?”
Sanji took a pull from his cigarette. He did know why Zoro was asking. “Maybe.”
“Good.” Zoro shot him a crooked grin. “You can pick up your own date next time.”
Sanji did manage to pick up his own date, though not on purpose. He’d been wandering through the streets of Dansui Reef, a small island about a week and a half’s journey from Tridacna. The Sunny had stopped for a visit and to pick up a few personal supplies. Sun-bleached coral spires decorated the landscape throughout the island. Like Tridacna, Dansui Reef had a busy harbor with visitors and pirates alike. The population of locals and visitors seemed to tilt heavily toward men. The main business of the island was coral coating.
Sanji walked through town, thinking about picking up a new black belt. His was starting to lose threads at the buckle. He spotted the men’s clothing store and almost walked into someone as they were coming out. “Excuse me,” Sanji said immediately, politely.
“No need to be excused.” The man Sanji nearly ran into had wide shoulders, short black hair, and was well-built. Stubble graced his tanned cheeks and upper lip. His black eyes glittered in the sunlight. He looked Sanji slowly up and down. “In fact, feel free to bump into me again.”
Sanji sucked in a sharp breath of surprise and arousal. He was being hit on. In the open. Where anyone could see them. Sanji tugged anxiously at his knotted tie, casting a quick glance around. No one on the street seemed to be paying any attention. Maybe Zoro had been right. Maybe people didn’t actually care.
The man’s lips quirked at Sanji’s reaction. “Fancy a drink?”
“Um…” Sanji licked his lips. The man’s eyes focused on them. Sanji felt heat climb up his cheeks. Was he really going to do this? “Sure.”
The man smiled. “Let’s go, then. I know a little spot tucked out of the way where we can get to know each other better.”
The little spot turned out to be the guy’s flat. The drink came from the guy’s dick. They got to know each other’s bodies quite well, inside and out. Sanji didn’t feel the qualms or nerves that he’d felt on Tridacna doing it with a man who was definitely a man. He’d spent two years with the Okama getting laid regularly, but Sanji oddly felt like this was only his second time having sex. And he liked it. He’d enjoyed sex with the Okama, but this was so much different. He wasn’t pretending anymore.
The man invited him to a party later that evening at one of the larger houses in Dansui Reef. Sanji accepted. He happily spent the afternoon naked in the guy’s bed, stopping only to eat a meal Sanji whipped up. Sanji and the guy got dirty in the bathroom before freshening up to leave.
Sanji had a cigarette as they wandered through the town to the upper hills. Flats and smaller houses became larger the higher they climbed, until they reached a large mansion at the top. Lights spilled from the multiple windows and the open doorway onto a neatly manicured garden. Music could be heard pounding from within the mansion. Sanji saw many different types of men in various states of dress, from suits like his to casual clothes to speedos, coming in and out of the house.
The guy who’d brought Sanji looped an arm around his shoulder. Sanji tensed, but again, no one was looking at them. No one cared. The guy led him inside, where the music was even louder. Men sat, stood, drank, danced, and chatted with one another everywhere Sanji looked.
A live band played from the corner of a wide open living space. A few sofas and chairs set up seating areas. Fancy art hung from the walls. Beyond the great room was an open kitchen that made Sanji’s salivate. It was modern and full of high end equipment.
The guy dropped his arm from around Sanji as he greeted someone else, walking off, leaving Sanji alone. Sanji made a beeline for the kitchen. Snacks and drinks sat out on the surfaces of the countertops. Double-wide doors were open to the backyard, and Sanji could see an outdoor cooking area as well. A full service bar stood in the backyard, with a man in a bow tie and little else serving drinks. The alcohol seemed to be flowing freely, judging by the noise.
Sanji ran his fingertips over the oven and stove top. His equipment on the Sunny was excellent, but this was above and beyond. He imagined what he could make with this set up. Five course meals of perfect cuts of meats, elaborately prepared vegetables, and scrumptious tiered desserts.
“Like what you see?”
Sanji turned to find his date had found him, along with three other well-built men. The one who had spoken was extremely well dressed and groomed, with blond tousled hair and a neat blond goatee. The other two wore open button-down shirts and shorts, appearing more rough and tumble.
“Is this your kitchen?” Sanji asked.
The well-dressed man nodded. “It is. This is my home.”
“It’s fantastic.” Sanji admired the kitchen again. “I’d do anything to be able to cook here.”
A shark smile spread across the man’s lips. “I believe that can be arranged, if you’re willing.”
Sanji’s brow furrowed in confusion. He was about to ask what the guy meant when he spotted a couple making out behind him. Sanji’s eyes widened. The couple were both male. He looked elsewhere and saw more men freely kissing or touching each other in the open. There didn’t appear to be any women anywhere. What kind of party was this?
The man stepped closer to Sanji and boldly brushed a hand against Sanji’s crotch. Sanji’s earlier date came up behind him and encircled his arms around Sanji’s waist. The other two guys looked on with wolfish expressions. “What do you say? Are you interested?”
Holy fucking hell, Sanji was being hit on… by four guys at once! Sanji wasn’t sure he made a coherent sound as his brain went into sexual overdrive. His cock was certainly keen on the idea. But what kind of person did that make him? He’d barely come to grips with having sex with men that acted like men, and now there were four of them eyeing Sanji up like prey.
“Maybe a few drinks to loosen up first,” Sanji’s original date suggested. The well-dressed man agreed.
Drinks were passed all around. Sanji was kept corralled in the kitchen, touched and looked at with hungry male gazes. He had on all his clothes but he felt like he was being stripped naked by them. Sanji drank quickly, every time a new glass of alcohol was handed to him. A fifth man came and went, eyeing Sanji’s crotch unabashedly. Sanji’s trousers tented obviously the entire time.
The alcohol began to take hold of Sanji, loosening him up, making him feel bolder, freer. He didn’t know any of the people at this party. From what Sanji could see from the kitchen, it appeared everyone was gay, which was strange. How did someone know this many gay men? Unless this was a known island for gay people to gather, like Kamabakka Kingdom for Okama.
Fuck, Sanji realized. That was it, wasn’t it? They’d docked at a gay island. Sanji was surrounded by gay men where gay men were accepted openly. That was… awesome.
Sanji laughed drunkenly. He wasn’t so far gone that he didn’t know what he was doing, but he was drunk enough to want more than he’d ever risk sober. The well-dressed man smiled with anticipation. “It seems our friend here is feeling more amenable. What do you say, chef?”
The fact that the guy called him chef was a turn on Sanji didn’t know he had. He nodded with enthusiasm. “Hell, yeah. Lead the way.”
Sanji was taken up a sweeping staircase in another part of a house, to a large bedroom with an enormous bed dressed in red sheets. Ornately carved wood furniture filled the rest of the room. A plush white carpet covered the floor. Candlelit sconces cast flickering orange light against the dark wallpaper. A doorway opened into a private bath.
Sanji heard the door close and then he was alone with four other men. Four big, strong, built men that made Sanji salivate. His mind felt hazy in a good way. His body was loose, but excited. He was really going to do this. There would be no question after this that he enjoyed fucking men.
It didn’t take long for Sanji to be naked and taken in different positions by different men. His tie was used in creative ways. There was no shame in it. Sanji revelled in the attention, the feelings, the smells and sounds of men having rough sex. The fact that he was extremely flexible turned his bedmates on even more. At one point the door opened and a few more men wandered in. Sanji was stretched, bruised, and well used by many by the time the fun had ended. He felt sad that the sensations of good sex faded too quickly, due to his rapid healing.
Stumbling a bit, cum leaking from his ass beneath his trousers, Sanji left the bedroom in the early hours of the morning. His open shirt hung on his shoulders. He’d lost his suit coat and tie somewhere beneath a pile of sleeping men. He was tired and hungry, and still a little drunk. He really wanted to use that kitchen, and now he had permission.
Sanji made his way back downstairs, passing by other men heading up to the bedrooms, groping each other. There was a couple humping in the open on the stairs. None of it bothered Sanji. He skirted through the mostly naked party going on in the great room and stepped over sleeping men on the floor. He reached the kitchen area, which was devoid of people. The drinks were empty and the food was mostly gone. All these men would be hungry when they got up. He could fix that.
Sanji hummed to himself as he raided the refrigerator and pantry. He began cooking up a storm. Breakfast items, pastries, sliced fruits and breads. He washed the old dishes and put out new ones. Coffee and tea were brewed and he’d made freshly squeezed orange juice and lemonade. He turned to put apple cider on the wide counter dividing the kitchen from the great room and found Zoro standing on the other side of it. “Zoro!” he exclaimed in surprise.
Zoro had on no shirt, his black trousers riding low on his hips. He carried his katanas in his hand. Bruises decorated his visible skin. His hair was messier than usual. He grinned at Sanji and snagged a piece of bacon from the serving platter on the counter. “You look like you’ve had some fun.”
Sanji realized his shirt was still open as was the top button of his trousers. He felt a blush climb down his neck and spread over his face. “Like you can talk.”
Zoro’s grin only widened. “If I’d known you were interested in a party like this, I would’ve brought you here myself.”
Sanji went back to placing out more food. “How did you even know there was a party?”
“There’s always a party, I’ve heard. This is Dansui Reef.” Zoro said it like it was common knowledge. Maybe it was, but Sanji had been too busy pretending to be straight to hear about it. “When we arrived here, I couldn’t believe my luck. I haven’t gotten laid since Dressrosa.”
Sanji remembered Zoro in a suit and was suddenly hot under his open collar. His eyes now decided to focus on the bruises decorating Zoro’s bare chest – love bites, Sanji realized – and a surge of arousal tried to stir his well-spent cock. Zoro had been in another room of this same house, fucking someone or getting fucked. The images that flashed through Sanji’s mind were graphic and he had to grab the side of the counter to keep from throwing himself at Zoro. He was just tipsy enough to do it, too.
Zoro brow creased in concern. “You okay, cook?”
Oh hell, Zoro called him cook. No wonder being called chef earlier turned Sanji on so much. He was hot for Zoro. Zoro had always been his type, but Sanji had buried those desires along with his sexuality. But now that he was coming out of his self-imposed shell, those desires were returning as well.
When Sanji didn’t answer right away, Zoro came around the counter to the kitchen. He put his hand on Sanji’s shoulder casually, leaning in, lowering his voice for privacy though no one was close enough to hear. “Is this feeling suddenly too much for you?”
The caring in Zoro’s tone was Sanji’s undoing. He abruptly turned, seized Zoro by the neck, and kissed him soundly on the lips.
Zoro’s squawk of surprise sent Sanji flying backwards, banging into the hot stove. He yelped when his hand touched a still-hot burner. His heart was slamming against his breastbone. He stared at Zoro, wide-eyed and red-faced. He wanted the floor to open beneath his feet and swallow him whole. He’d just kissed Zoro!
Zoro was staring at Sanji with equal shock. He brought his fingertips to his lips.
Sanji panicked. What had he done? How could he do that? Zoro was nakama. They sailed together on the same ship. They slept in the same quarters. What could he say? How could he explain this?
“Um…” Zoro shifted on his feet, suddenly looking away. Sanji watched in amazement as a blush spread across Zoro’s face to his ears and all the way down his chest. Zoro rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “I’m going to go. Back to the ship. Get cleaned up. Grab some sleep.” His words were choppy, awkward. “You’re not too drunk to find your own way back, are you?”
Sanji felt like an out had been given to him. But that would make him a coward. Sanji was still working on being alright with being gay and Zoro had been nothing but supportive to him. Even though this threw a wrench into things, he couldn’t lie to Zoro. “No. Not that drunk.”
If anything, Zoro’s blush seemed to darken. “Okay. Uh, see you back at the ship, then.”
Sanji watched him walk quickly away. Sanji sagged against the hot stove once he was out of sight and promptly burned his hand again. “Ouch.” He looked at his palm. He had a burn mark on it that already showed signs of healing. The earlier burn had gone.
Sanji’s nose told him the cinnamon buns were ready to take out of the oven. He busied himself with finishing up breakfast and tried not to think about what was going to happen once he got back to the ship.
Sanji returned before daybreak, still without a suit coat and tie. No one was on deck. He made his way to the bathroom to clean up before heading to the men’s quarters to bed. He paused on the threshold, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness in the room. He heard snoring coming from one of the beds. He made his way to his locker, changed into sleep shorts, and tumbled into his own bunk for some much needed shuteye.
He woke a few hours later to the sounds of his crewmates moving around. He realized he needed to get up and make breakfast. His second one of the day. He likely had hungry nakama to feed.
Fifteen minutes later, dressed in trousers and an untucked, yellow button-down shirt, he was in the galley, cooking up breakfast. Most of the crew was back on the ship, with the exception of Luffy and Nami. Sanji set the meal out on deck, buffet style, allowing the crew to come when they wanted to eat. Sanji took a plate for himself and settled onto the lounge chair to eat. The chair was comfortable, and the sun started to warm the day. He closed his eyes for a minute, still tired after being up and very active most of the night.
He woke up again to his friends talking on the deck. He opened his eyes, embarrassed that he’d fallen asleep. His plate was still balanced on his lap, the food untouched and unspilled. Usopp, Chopper, Jinbe, and Zoro sat around the picnic table, enjoying breakfast. He spotted empty dishes stacked on the corner of the table, indicating the others had already eaten. He shifted on the chair, about to get up when he caught Zoro’s eye. He was surprised when another blush stole across Zoro’s cheeks and Zoro quickly looked away. What did Zoro have to be embarrassed about? Sanji was the one who kissed him, not the other way around.
Sanji chalked it up to Zoro being an idiot and girded himself to join them at the picnic table. He couldn’t avoid Zoro. The ship wasn’t that big and everyone would want to know why if he did. If Sanji could survive this meal with Zoro present, he figured they’d be fine. They’d both been at a gay party where a lot sex was had with other men. The entire situation was weird anyway. One slip up wouldn’t ruin their friendship.
“Thank you for breakfast, Sanji,” Jinbe told him, as Sanji sat down. “We were not expecting it, but it is welcome nonetheless.”
“It’s what I do,” Sanji responded with a smile. “Did you enjoy your evenings?”
"Usopp and I went out to the beach on the other side of the island,” Chopper said, excited to share. “There were fireworks. Franky was there for a while, too, and Robin.”
“I met someone who knew many traditions of Fish-Man Karate and we spent the evening discussing it,” Jinbe said. “What of you?”
“Hn. Zoro and I met up at the same place with some other people. Had a good time,” Sanji said. None of it was a lie. Zoro grunted in agreement, shoveling food into his mouth with the manners of an ape. Sanji kicked him under the picnic table, which earned him a glare. It felt normal. “Anyone seen Nami or Luffy? I’m assuming these empty plates are from Brook, Franky and Robin.”
Usopp shook his head. “No. I saw them together at one point yesterday afternoon, but I don’t know where they went.”
“Should we be worried?” Chopper asked worriedly.
“Probably not unless we hear shouting or an explosion,” Sanji said.
An explosion resounded across the harbor, followed by shouting.
“And that would be them.” Sanji laughed and started gathering serving plates. Chopper, Usopp, Jinbe and Zoro quickly finished their meal, as Brook, Robin and Franky came out on deck from different directions. Sanji brought the food to the galley to secure it, while the others went to the rail. He joined them in a few minutes.
“It appears to be coming from the direction of the shipping buildings over there,” Franky said, pointing at the opposite end of the port.
“Best not keep them waiting, then,” Zoro said, and hopped over the rail, landing heavily on the dock. Sanji was right behind him.
They ran in the direction of the shouting, dodging sailors and dock workers in the expansive port. The rest of the crew followed in Sanji and Zoro’s wake. The noise got louder as they reached a large building on the far side. Smoke rose from a gaping hole in its side. Colorful coral had spilled out onto the dock. Luffy was fighting with an enormous man wearing a shield in the shape of a cobra. Zeus, controlled by Nami, was keeping a large contingent of other cobra-shield bearers at bay.
Zoro and Sanji slid to a stop at Nami’s side. “What’s going on?” Zoro asked, taking in the fighting with an expert eye.
“These jerks were trying to steal the coral,” Nami told them, sounding angry. “Their explosion hit a bunch of the dock workers.”
Sanji glanced at Zoro, who flashed him a bloodthirsty smile. “Bet I get more than you, dartbrow,” Zoro said, tying his bandana around his green hair.
“Not gonna happen, shitty swordsman,” Sanji retorted, tapping his toe against the deck.
With another grin, Zoro flew into action, Sanji at his heels. The arrival of the rest of the Straw Hats caused a melee that had the cobra-shielded pirates cowering in their boots. Hands sprang from surfaces to throw bodies into the water. Lightning flashed and fried with accuracy. A pellet exploded against an unprotected face, causing screams of agony. Metallic punches mixed with the clink of swords against shields. Bodies flew from hard kicks and karate strikes. Sharp horns gored at speed.
Sanji found himself standing near Zoro at one point. “Seventeen,” he said.
“Shit.” Zoro darted off and Sanji laughed as he back-flipped over a pirate trying to sneak up on him. He kicked the man far into the harbor, and shouted, “Eighteen!”
Bodies littered the dock and floated in the water. The lucky ones still conscious slinked away. Luffy let loose with a final punch that rearranged the leader’s face. The enormous man crashed onto the ground with a resounding boom that shook the entire dock.
Sanji dusted off his hands and joined his crew where they gathered around the fallen leader. Zeus returned Nami’s clima-tact. Zoro pulled off his bandana and wiped his blood-spattered face. “Twenty-one,” Zoro said.
“Twenty-two.”
“Fuck.”
Sanji grinned at him. “Loser.”
“Shut up.”
The crew helped the dock workers clean up and dragged the cobra-shields off to jail. One of the workers mentioned the marines having been contacted, and the Straw Hats quickly finished helping before taking their leave.
Back on the Sunny, everyone sprang into action, doing familiar jobs to get them underway. The main sail unfurled, revealing the Straw Hats’ skull mark painted on the fabric. Jinbe caught the wind, and the Sunny was deftly navigated from port. Sanji watched as the shores of Dansui Reef grew smaller in the distance. He wondered if he’d ever return.
The thought made a smile twitch his lips. He’d been hiding his sexuality since puberty and now he wanted to go back to a gay party island. It was probably time to admit it without feeling ashamed, even if just to himself: he was undoubtedly and irrevocably gay.
Zoro was acting strange. Sanji had come to pick a couple mikans for muffins and now he watched from the upper deck as Zoro paced circles around the tree below. Sanji wondered if Zoro had gotten himself lost in a loop and couldn’t figure out how to get out. Sanji wouldn’t put it past the braindead moron.
The Sunny wasn’t far from their next destination. Chopper had spotted the island from the crow’s nest when he’d been on watch. They should make port by afternoon. Sanji wanted to make the muffins as a snack for the others to take with them into town.
Sanji had originally thought things would be weird between himself and Zoro, but that wasn’t the case. The fight with the cobra-shielded pirates and their little competition had set things to normal. Zoro trained, ate, slept, and argued with Sanji. Sanji cooked, cleaned, ate, slept, and fought with Zoro. Occasionally, Sanji would catch Zoro staring at him but then Zoro would quickly turn away.
Several weeks had passed since leaving Dansui Reef and Sanji was looking forward to being on land again. He needed to restock and he was itching for a break from staring at the same four galley walls. Sanji had already made it clear that everyone should eat in town when they arrived at the new island. He loved cooking and feeding people, but sometimes he needed a night off.
Silver Cove sparkled in the waning sunlight when the Sunny sailed into its harbor. The mining island was filled with silver-plated houses and storefronts. A handful of ships docked at its port. The locals were welcoming but wary of pirates. The Straw Hats were informed by the dock master that a marine ship was anchored at a nearby satellite island base, close enough to call. Robin promised they were not there to cause any trouble, merely to stretch their legs and restock supplies. The Beli Nami passed over seemed to ease the dock master’s mind.
Sanji did his shopping, this time with Franky for company. They filled the cart with needed supplies and brought them back to the ship. It didn’t take them long to unload. Franky waved goodbye to Sanji as he left the Sunny. The rest of the crew had already gone. Brook was on watch.
Sanji took a quick shower before going into the men’s quarters to change. He’d felt grungy after getting the supplies. The mining on Silver Cove left a fine dust on everything. He drew on a new pair of black trousers, a green shirt, and green and black striped tie. He opted to forego his suit coat, instead tucking his cigarettes and lighter into his breast pocket. The weather was warm enough to roll his long sleeves. He checked his hair in the mirror one last time before heading out.
“Oi, cook.” Sanji heard as he stepped on to the main deck. The sun had dipped low on the horizon, casting an orange and rose glow against the clouds in the sky. Sanji spotted Zoro standing near the gangplank, dressed in a blue long-sleeved shirt and his black trousers. His haramaki was missing. His katanas were present at his side. It was surprising to see Zoro on deck. He thought Zoro had left.
“What’re you still doing here?” Sanji asked, crossing the deck to meet him. Sanji didn’t know when Zoro had gotten free from his loop. He was already gone after Sanji had finished the muffins.
“Waiting for you.” Zoro focused on something beyond Sanji’s left shoulder. Sanji glanced back to look behind him, but didn’t see anything. “You wanna get a drink with me?”
Sanji shrugged. “Sure. I don’t have any set plans for the night.”
“Okay. Good.” Zoro turned and marched stiffly down the gangplank. Sanji arched a brow in question, but didn’t say anything. He fell into step beside Zoro.
Buildings lit by silver-backed gas lights illuminated the cobbled streets. Shopkeepers were closing up for the night. Locals lingered here and there, chatting or calling out goodbyes. Families headed into a bustling restaurant. A few patrons wandered into the tavern.
Sanji thought about seeing if Zoro wanted to try the restaurant, but Zoro was already angling for the tavern. He pictured Zoro sitting down to eat surrounded by families, wearing his usual glower, and grinned to himself. The tavern was a better idea.
Like most taverns, this one was populated by the less reputable and less prosperous sort who’d cozied up to the bar to drink away their woes. Scuffed silver tables and chairs were sprinkled throughout the rough-beamed room. The bartop had seen better days. Wanted posters and advertisements plastered the walls. A dart game was in session. Conversation flowed between patrons at the tables, enjoying drinks and bar food.
Zoro picked an empty round table in a corner, away from the others. Sanji was surprised. He figured Zoro would want to sit at the bar. Sanji took the seat beside him so both their backs were to the wall. It was possible their other nakama would wander in at some point and join them.
A bar matron came over and took their order for beers and food. Sanji lit a cigarette and surveyed the room. He noted a few eyes turning their direction, but mostly they were ignored. It was possible those who’d taken a look had recognized them from the wanted posters. Sanji would keep half an eye on them. He’d prefer not to have the marines called down upon them.
Their drinks came, along with the ordered bar food. Zoro was noticeably quiet. He gulped his beer down quickly, then began shredding one of the napkins that had come with the basket of fried food.
Sanji stabbed out his spent cigarette. He felt he’d waited long enough for Zoro to snap out of it. “What’s up with you?” he asked, dipping a fried green bean in sauce before trying it. The sauce had a tang to it that complimented the slightly sweet, earthy flavor of the green bean.
“Nothing,” Zoro said stiffly. “I’m going to get another beer.”
Zoro got up, grabbed his empty glass, and crossed to the bar. Sanji stared after him, wondering what had gotten into the swordsman. Maybe there was something going on that he wanted to talk to Sanji about but he didn’t know how to bring it up. The two of them weren’t always the best at communicating personal issues with others.
When Zoro returned, taking his seat beside Sanji again, Sanji decided to take the lead. “Something bothering you?” he said, keeping his voice low. Nobody else needed to be in their business.
“No.” Zoro’s response was abrupt. He wouldn’t look at Sanji.
Sanji sighed. “You know, marimo, if I wanted to sit in silence, I could’ve come by myself.” He dipped another green bean in the sauce and ate it. He’d have to let the cook know the sauce was very good.
Zoro turned the beer glass in his hands several times. The golden liquid sloshed within. He seemed to be struggling with something. Sanji decided to leave him be. He ate the fried green beans, washing them down with his beer, while he people-watched. The man at the end of the bar was already in his cups, half-falling off his bar stool. The two at the other end of the bar seemed to be commiserating over a woman. The dart players exchanged places with two other patrons. One of the tables seemed to be celebrating something, a promotion perhaps.
The tavern door swung open and more patrons wandered in. Sanji was debating on getting a second order of fried green beans, or perhaps trying the fried pickles, when he felt a hand on his thigh. He stilled a moment, confused. Was Zoro trying to get his attention? He glanced over at Zoro, who was studiously staring into his beer.
When the hand didn’t move, Sanji glanced down. Zoro’s broad, tanned hand rested on his leg beneath the edge of the table. There was no mistake. Zoro had put his hand on Sanji’s thigh.
Awareness surged through Sanji as he realized what was happening. Zoro was hitting on him. Subtly, but that’s what he was doing. Being invited for a drink suddenly took on a different meaning. Was this a date? Had Zoro asked him out on a date?
Sanji had a hard time finding his voice, but he needed to know. “Is this a date?” he managed to ask in a faltering whisper. His heart was hammering in his ears. Zoro’s hand felt warm and heavy on his thigh.
“So what if it is?” Zoro challenged. He still wouldn’t look at Sanji. A blush now stained his cheeks and ears. Zoro had been so confident and comfortable talking about being gay, but now he was blushing because he was on a date. Because he was nervous, Sanji realized. Nervous about being on a date… with him.
Sanji took to staring at his own quarter-filled beer glass in shock. It was a date. He was on a date. A date with Zoro. Zoro had asked him on a date. Zoro… wanted him?
Sanji cut a side glance at Zoro as Zoro knocked back his beer. Zoro’s type was him? Or at least men built like him? Sanji remembered the love bites littering Zoro’s chest back on Dansui Reef and knew that Zoro wasn’t celebate. He had to have slept with someone at the party. Or more than one someones.
Sanji's mind went into imagination of a room full of men who looked similar to Sanji fucking Zoro like Sanji had been fucked by the men he'd been with at the party. Or Zoro was the one doing all the fucking. Sanji's trousers grew tight from arousal. What was happening in Sanji's mind was hot as hell and he wasn't even present in his own imagination.
That changed immediately, and Sanji swallowed a whimper. He'd tried not to picture Zoro in his fantasies when he jerked off, not wanting to torture himself with someone he saw every day but could never have. But Zoro's hand on Sanji's thigh was telling him that he could have this, he could have Zoro if he wanted.
And he wanted. Badly. He didn't know if he could last another minute without kissing Zoro. It was a strong possibility that he was about to announce to the world that he was gay. Or at least to the patrons in the tavern.
Naturally, that's when Luffy, Nami, Brook and Robin walked in.
Their appearance threw cold water on Sanji’s arousal. He glanced at Zoro in panic, but Zoro appeared to be unconcerned. Sanji expected Zoro to have snatched his hand away, but he hadn’t. It still lingered on Sanj’s thigh until the others reached the table, then it slowly slipped away. Sanji could still feel the warm impression of it on his thigh.
“Sanji! Zoro!” Luffy exclaimed exuberantly. He bounded over to them and took a seat at their table. “We found you.”
“Were you looking for us?” Zoro said.
“No. But we found you anyway.” Luffy grinned.
Sanji tried to calm his racing pulse and whirling mind. It wouldn’t do to have a panic attack in the middle of a tavern. His nakama would definitely ask why.
“I hope we are not intruding,” Robin said, pulling out one of the chairs at their table.
Sanji found his voice and a hopefully steady smile. “Never.”
Nami sat beside Robin, and Brook took the last chair between her and Sanji. “Sanji, were you able to find the soap I wanted?” Nami asked.
“I was. I picked up several bars for you,” Sanji replied. He wondered if they could tell he and Zoro were on a date. He wondered if they could tell that Sanji still wanted to kiss Zoro.
“Thank you, Sanji-kun,” Nami said. And once, Sanji would’ve swooned and gushed over her thanks. Now he merely nodded to her, like friends.
The bar matron came over to take orders for food and drinks. Sanji used it as an excuse to make his escape to the restroom. The dingy two-seater smelled of old vomit and piss. The floor was disgustingly sticky. Sanji used the toilet, washed his hands, and splashed cold water on his face. He looked at himself in the cracked mirror above the sink. His face had a pink flush to it. Had he been blushing this entire time? Had his nakama noticed?
The swinging door opened behind him and Zoro stepped into the restroom. Sanji’s eyes widened in panic, staring at him in the cracked mirror. “What are you doing in here, marimo?! They’ll know!”
“Tch. Calm down. They think I need to piss.” Zoro paced a few steps, stopped, and paced the other way behind Sanji. Sanji gripped the edge of the sink, still looking at Zoro’s reflection in the mirror. “Look, I’m not going to out you or anything. I don’t think you’re ready for that. It’s your decision anyway.”
Sanji blew out the breath he was holding with relief. Fuck, he was pathetic, but Zoro was right. “I… no. No, I’m not.”
“That’s what I figured.” Zoro stopped pacing and rubbed the back of his neck. Sanji remembered him doing that back at the party. He realized it was a nervous gesture. “Okay. I’m just going to say this. I like you. I’ve always liked you. You’re exactly my type. But I never did anything because I thought you were straight. But you never were, were you?”
Sanji shook his head, confirming that he’d always been gay, just in denial. His mind was spinning. Zoro had always liked him?
Zoro looked sad for a moment. “I’m sorry you’ve never felt comfortable being yourself. It must suck.”
“Yeah,” Sanji admitted quietly. There was only a short time he’d ever been completely comfortable in his own skin, the first few years he was with Zeff on the Baratie, until puberty hit. Before that, he’d been the failure, unwanted son of a Vinsmoke, after that he was ashamed to be gay. “Why didn’t you do anything once you found out… you know?”
“Because you’re my friend, first and foremost,” Zoro told him. “You were afraid of your own desires. And frankly, I didn’t even know you’d be interested in my type. I thought maybe you’d like the more girly guys, since you were with Okama. Even after I learned the truth, I knew you needed to get out there and experience what it was like. You needed to see that it was okay. That you weren’t different. I would never have done anything if you hadn’t kissed me.”
Sanji knew Zoro was right. If Zoro had come on to Sanji when he’d learned the truth, Sanji either would’ve run screaming in denial and ruined their friendship or he would’ve clung to Zoro in an unhealthy way. Sanji had needed to find out for himself that it was all right to be attracted to men without the pretense of womanhood overlaying them. He’d needed to have casual flings with no strings attached. While a majority of his flings took place in one night, they were still with different people and it had given him an acceptance and comfort level toward his sexuality.
Zoro rubbed his neck again, looking away from Sanji. “That kiss took me by surprise. I didn’t think you’d actually be interested in me. Not when there are more attractive men out there.”
Sanji stared at Zoro in the reflection in surprise. Zoro was self-conscious about his looks?
“But since you kissed me, I thought maybe I’d take a chance. Maybe you might want something with me.” Zoro’s lips curved in a self-deprecating grin. “I had a hard time working up the nerve to ask you out.”
Something inside Sanji softened at the same time he was filled with amazement. Zoro really liked him. “I didn’t know it was a date until you put your hand on my thigh.”
Zoro blushed. “Yeah. Apparently, I’m not that great at asking out someone who matters.”
And Sanji mattered. He felt his heartbeat speed up in his chest. He rarely felt important to anyone, even though he knew his nakama cared about him. To hear it, though, made him feel warm inside. “Ask me out again.”
Zoro looked at him in the mirror with surprise, then a wide smile crossed his face. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, marimo.” Sanji wasn’t going to let this slip through his fingers. He may not be ready to be out to the world, but he was ready for this. “I’d like it.”
They spent the rest of the evening with their nakama, chatting, laughing, and enjoying themselves. Zoro didn’t put his hand on Sanji’s thigh again, but every so often he’d give Sanji a happy smile. It made Sanji’s stomach flutter. Robin and Brook played darts. Luffy stole food from other patrons’ tables with his rubber arms. Nami talked about skirting the marine’s satellite island near Silver Cove in order to map it. The fried pickles were equally as good as the fried green beans. Sanji sent his compliments to the cook about the dipping sauce and was invited back to learn the recipe. It was a wonderful evening spent with friends.
Back on the Sunny, Zoro didn’t linger to say goodnight. He merely smiled at Sanji again before disappearing into the men’s quarters with the others. Sanji lit a cigarette and went over to the rail. He looked out into the harbor at the lights from anchored ships. Zoro liked him. It still amazed Sanji to learn that truth. He didn’t know what was going to happen in the future, or when he would feel comfortable enough to share that he was gay, but he could honestly say he was happy about his life right now.
Hydra Springs was a tropical island three and half weeks sail from Silver Cove. It was named after the nine bodies of water that came from a main spring, all surrounded by tropical trees, large ferns, and bright flowers. The harbor was small, making the island seem to be a private paradise. The locals dressed in brightly colored sarongs and were open and welcoming.
Sanji had thought perhaps the weeks at sea would’ve been awkward, knowing that Zoro liked him, but it hadn’t been. Zoro lingered longer than usual, talking with him after a meal or on a lazy afternoon, but he didn’t press or act any differently toward Sanji. They were still friends who bickered with one another, challenged each other to fights, and generally got along. Zoro spent a majority of his time in the crow’s nest and Sanji spent his time in the galley. They didn’t need to be in each other’s spaces all the time.
Zoro stood at the head of the gangplank as the rest of the crew departed for town. He smiled at Sanji when he approached. “Change into your swim trunks.”
Sanji’s heart sped up. Zoro was already wearing his black swim trunks and a white t-shirt that barely fit over his muscles. He wore sandals. His ever present katanas hung from a sling around his back. “Is this…” Sanji let the words trail off, not wanting to assume, afraid to voice it even if it was.
Zoro nodded, still smiling. “It is.”
Sanji looked past Zoro to the others walking below, along the dock. “What about the others?” he asked nervously. He wasn’t ready for anyone to know.
“Told ‘em I wanted to go swimming and that you were coming to make sure I wouldn’t get lost.” Zoro shooed him toward the men’s quarters. “Go and get changed. The day is already too short.”
Sanji went to change. He ignored the shaking of his hands. He was going on a date. It filled him with both excitement and anxiety. He’d been looking forward to this for weeks, but what if it went wrong? What if he was a lousy date? What if Zoro decided he didn’t like Sanji after all?
Dressed in blue swim trunks, a floral shirt, and sandals, Sanji tucked his cigarette and lighter into the pocket of his trunks before rejoining Zoro on deck. He hadn’t noticed that Zoro had a pair of beach towels and a bottle of sake. They must’ve been sitting on the rail.
Zoro’s smile returned when he saw Sanji. It made Sanji’s heart flip. “Ready?”
“Do you know where you’re going?” Sanji asked.
“No. But I figured we’d wander until we found a place.” Zoro’s black eye danced with merriment. “Sometimes getting lost has its advantages.”
They headed down the gangplank, side-by-side, and left the harbor docks. Zoro dovetailed immediately off the path heading to town. They meandered through the tropical forests, surrounded by the sounds of nature. Sunshine filtered through the green, leafy canopy of palms and other trees. A heady floral scent floated on the gentle breeze. The walk allowed Sanji to calm his nerves. He wanted to enjoy the date.
Eventually, they came upon a pool of water that was fed by the spring. The canopy had opened, allowing the bright sun to cause the clear blue surface to sparkle. The water was warm, and no one else was around. Zoro set their beach towels and the sake on the shore, set his katanas aside, and pulled off his t-shirt. His muscles flexed, the familiar scar stretching across his tanned torso. Sanji was instantly aroused by the sight. He hid it by turning away from Zoro, toeing off his sandals and unbuttoning his own shirt. He folded the shirt nicely, setting it aside, before laying his cigarettes and lighter on top.
When he looked back, Zoro was already in the water up to his waist, running his hands back and forth along the surface. “It’s nice,” he commented, as his fingers caused tiny waves.
Sanji stepped into the water. The muddy ground beneath the surface squished between his toes, tickling them. Zoro had been right, the temperature was nice, warm but not too much, to counter the heat of the day. Sanji dunked down, getting his shoulders wet. This had been a good idea.
“Race you to the other side,” Zoro said and then took off before Sanji even accepted.
“Oi, cheater!” Sanji yelled after him before diving beneath the surface, chasing after him, trying to win. The pool of water held a few golden fish that darted away when Sanji swam past. Water plants bobbed beneath the surface, anchored in the muddy earth.
Sanji surfaced beside Zoro on the other side, who crowed, “I win,” before he splashed Sanji suddenly, a playful gleam in his eye. That was all it took for them to launch an all out water war, splashing and tussling in the warm spring-fed pool, swearing and laughing at one another.
And when Zoro finally slid his arms around Sanji’s waist, pulling him closer with a different light in his eye, Sanji was ready for it. His heart started racing as their lips met and butterflies took flight in his stomach. He wound his arms around Zoro’s wet shoulders, pressing against him, with no worries that he was another man. Their mouths met and parted and met again, tasting and exploring unhurriedly as they stood in the water beneath the bright blue sky.
Zoro drew back first, his lips red from kissing, a flush on his cheeks. “Is this alright?”
“More than,” Sanji told him, and it was the truth. He wanted this, wanted Zoro, with every fiber of his being. He could feel Zoro’s arousal pressing against his own through the material of their swim trunks.
Zoro clasped Sanji’s hand with his own and led the way back to shore. He spread a beach towel on the ground before pulling Sanji down onto it with him. Their mouths met again, this time with hunger and eagerness. Hands explored each other’s bodies, eliciting gasps and moans. Laughter floated up into the trees when they struggled to remove wet swim trunks. Zoro had come prepared, which was both thoughtful and sneaky.
“I’d hoped, but wasn’t anticipating anything,” Zoro told Sanji with a bashful smile. And Sanji fell a little in love with him, right then.
They had sex in the open, where anyone could stumble upon them, but Sanji no longer cared. He knew what to expect, what he liked and what he didn’t, because Zoro had given that to him with his encouragement and friendship to break down his self-imposed walls, no longer hiding behind Okama, to accept that he was gay. Zoro had been the hand that reached for Sanji deep in that hole that he’d dug for himself and pulled him free.
Afterward, they drank sake and talked for a while. They had another swim, then returned to the beach towel to have sex again. And as the sun started to set in the sky, Sanji murmured, “This was a good day.”
Zoro smiled against Sanji’s bare shoulder. “We’ll have to do it again.”
“It’s a date.”
Sanji never told his nakama that he and Zoro were together. He didn’t have to; it was obvious to the crew. But he did sit down with Nami one night in the privacy of the galley and admitted for the first time out loud, “I’m gay.”
End