I Hate You, My Love

by Gillian Silverlight

I hate you
I tell myself.
You believe me.
Yet my body, my mind,
My heart that does not beat,
My soul, that I do not have,
All scream that I lie.

The sight of you weakens me.
To touch you sets my heart on fire,
My non-soul cries out in pain for you.
I hate you, I say again.

But in the silence inside,
I know that I hate he-that-made-me,
Because you loved him, touched him,
And he gave you only pain in return.
I hate all who have touched you,
As I would live for, yet cannot.

If only I could stop time,
So that for a brief moment of eternity
I could touch you, kiss you,
Feel your arms, and find your love.

You would have taken my heart with a stake
To end my existence.
Yet the greatest pain is far more real.
You have taken my heart with your beauty,
Your scent, and the touch of your hands.

Surely this is the greatest pain of all,
For I am here
And I hurt with each moment you are away.
I hate you,
Because I can only love you,
Through time eternal.