I would swallow my pride,
I would choke on the rhines
But the lack
thereof would leave me empty inside
Swallow my doubt turn it inside out
Find nothing but faith in nothing
Spike rolled into the dining room, an irritated look on his face.
"DRUSILLA!!" he bellowed, causing Sunshine to scurry for cover. *I can't believe
that bloody dog is still alive.* The thought ran through his head that nothing
was as it should be. Drusilla was never around when he needed her and Angel was
going off the deep end.
Angel. He couldn't bring himself to call him Angelus. That name belonged to a
different person, a god. Not the unbelievable wimp that Angel had become.
Mooning over the Slayer like some sodding village idiot. It pained him to see
how far his Angel had fallen. He didn't know which was worse- housebroken Angel
with a soul, or this obnoxious creature who had Dru following him around like a
puppy.
Want to put my tender heart in a blender
Watch it spin around to a
beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous then I'm through with you
He let memories of Angelus flood his mind- their glorious first days
together. The women, the blood, terrorizing whole villages. Angelus was his
father, his mentor, his best friend... his lover. His 'Yoda', he recalled saying
to Angel when he first got to town. Spike had worshipped Angelus- would do
anything he asked of him. Then his Sire brought Drusilla into the fold; their
Black Goddess, their Queen.
The three of them were the Scourge of Europe, cutting a swath across the
continent. Magical nights of sex and blood, with Angelus as their guide. They
were insatiable; their nights spent feeding and fucking, collapsing at dawn with
Drusilla sandwiched between them. Until that fateful night when the gypsies
exacted their revenge, removing Angelus from their lives.
Now Angel was back with them again, but it wasn't the same. Spike didn't want
to be Luke Skywalker anymore, no sir. He had been his own master for almost one
hundred years, and he liked it that way. Han Solo had always seemed to have more
fun than that nancy boy Luke, anyway. And he got the girl, as well.
I burn burn like a wicker cabinet
Chalk white and oh so frail
I
see our time has gotten stale
Drusilla was another matter entirely. He had spent years caring for her after
Prague, treating her like a princess, and as soon as Angel crooks his little
finger, she goes running off without a second thought. He supposed he still
loved her in his own way, but that love was quickly turning to disgust at her
behavior. The girl had no loyalty whatsoever. Maybe if he treated her like shit
the way that Angel did, he would score more points with her. As it was, she had
him tied up in knots, and not the fun kind, either.
The tick tock of the clock is painful,
all sane and logical
I want
to tear it off the wall
He knew that Angel satisfied her penchant for S&M more than he did. Spike
wasn't above a little bondage now and then, but he drew the line at mutilation.
There were times when he had woken up grateful to see that his cock was still
attached. Even when she was weak, Dru still got off on pain.
Spike didn't mind so much when he was the one dishing it out, but he really
didn't like being on the receiving end. Dru just always seemed to take it too
far. It wasn't as if you could glue the parts back on like some child's toy.
Whatever happened to good old fashioned romance?
Ah, but then, she did have an incredible mouth. That alone was worth the
price of admission. The things she could do to you, especially if she got inside
your head. Not that he had experienced any of it lately. It had been weeks since
she had shared his bed. Night after night, she went to Angel, oblivious to his
own discomfort.
I hear words and clips and phrases
I think sick like ginger ale
My
stomach turns and I exhale
He could hear the screams coming from Angel's room, did they think he
couldn't? They assumed that because he was a bloody invalid, he was fucking deaf
as well. At first, it was like chinese water torture...with holy water. Now, it
was merely annoying.
The sad thing was, he knew he would take Drusilla back in a heartbeat. There
was too much history between them for him to just walk away. Make that 'roll'
away. He was starting to sound like Angel. Roller boy, sit and spin- the insults
went on and on. Angel was quite the cut-up, wasn't he? He had always been his
own greatest admirer. Drusilla wasn't helping the situation by fawning over him.
Spike's lip curled in disgust. Wonder what his pet would think if she knew
where her beloved Angel spent his evenings? Yeah, that would be an interesting
conversation. It was like watching a bloody soap opera... one with whips and
chains, that is. Let them have their little melodrama; at least he was sane,
which was more than he could say for the two of them.
So Cal is where my mind states
But it's not my state of mind
I'm
not as ugly sad as you
He knew what Angel was up to with the Slayer. That wanker. The little gifts
he left her. Leering in her bedroom window. Spike had followed Angel one night
and saw him perched in the tree, wacking off. If he had only had the video
camera then. It would be funny if it weren't so pathetic- the once great
Angelus, a slave to his dick. He wondered what kind of show the Slayer put on up
there in her room, to have worked Angel up into such a state. Yeah, well... good
for her.
The Slayer- now there was a juicy piece. The past Slayers were nothing
compared to her. The first time he had seen her dancing at the Bronze he had
felt a tightening in his gut that surprised him. That golden hair and tight
little body beckoning to every male in the place. She was a right tempting
morsel, for sure. And the clothes she wore- Ha! WHAT clothes? She might as well
be naked half the time. That dark haired one with the big tits was just as bad.
No wonder Angel had a perpetual hard on.
Or am I origami folded up and just pretend
Demented as the motives in
your head
Still, he had to give the girl credit. She was dealing with it all pretty
well, considering. Imagine, sleeping with your boyfriend and having him turn
into a demon. Had to ruin your self esteem a bit. She was all right, this
Slayer. He liked her spunk. It was refreshing after almost two hundred years of
women cowering in fear.
He had run into her a few times while out for a moonlight spin around town.
Instead of staking his sorry ass, she had actually engaged in conversation. Even
asked after his injury. It almost scared him a little. It wasn't a good idea to
be having fuzzy feelings about your enemy. In fact, he had found himself
becoming aroused while he was talking to her. Thank- bloody-god THAT hadn't
happened while they had been fighting. He would never have lived it down. He had
the feeling that the Slayer would use it to her advantage. It was all Dru's
fault, anyway. If she had been seeing to his needs properly, he wouldn't have to
look elsewhere.
I alone am the one you don't know
You need, take heed, feed your
ego
Angelus was becoming a problem. Never mind the fact that he had Dru's head
turned all around; now Spike was hearing rumors about how out of control his
killing was. He was decimating the bodies- it was bound to attract attention.
The Watcher had already burned them out of one home, he didn't fancy losing this
one as well. That Watcher wasn't the tweed-covered wuss he appeared to be. Spike
sensed in him a vicious streak that, once unleashed, could be lethal for them
all. He needed to take action and soon, if he wanted to preserve his own hide.
He was surrounded by incompetents and loonies. He knew he could get the idiot
patrol over to his side should the time come to challenge Angel. He wasn't so
sure about Drusilla. She had to still love him, didn't she? She was so attached
to her bloody Daddy, though. Maybe he could get Miss Edith to put in a good word
for him. There was a thought!
If only he could just move on without her. But he relied on Drusilla too
much. Her psychic ability was the least of it. From the first, she had touched
something in him that he had thought was long dead. Well then, he would just
have to figure out a way to get rid of Angel once and for all, and still keep
Dru.
Make me blind when your eyes close
Sink when you get close- tie me to
the bedpost
He just wanted things back the way they were. Back to when Drusilla needed
him for every little thing. It had made him feel good to be able to take care of
her, not helpless like he was now. Maybe it had been a mistake to cure her. At
least when she was weak she belonged only to him. His pet, his princess, his
ripe, wicked plum. His betrayer- cuckolding him, making him a laughingstock.
Soon enough they would all realize that he wasn't the impotent fool they all
took him for. He still had a few tricks up his sleeve. Hell on wheels, that was
him. Or maybe... not.
Swallow my doubt turn it inside out
Spike pushed himself to his feet. He had been harboring his little secret for
a few days now. See, he wasn't quite as paralyzed as everyone thought. He made
sure the house was empty when he exercised his legs, so that no one would be the
wiser. At least, not until he was ready to reveal his surprise. No, baby, this
was going to be 'his' time to shine. Spike's plan was almost final.
He had been entertaining some very evil thoughts lately that involved the
Slayer. He knew it was risky but desperate times called for desperate measures.
If he teamed up with the Slayer, Angel couldn't win. The two of them together
would be a force to be reckoned with. And Angel's day of reckoning was at hand.
Rendezvous then I'm through with you
End
