Hell On Wheels


I would swallow my pride,
I would choke on the rhines
But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside
Swallow my doubt turn it inside out
Find nothing but faith in nothing

Spike rolled into the dining room, an irritated look on his face. "DRUSILLA!!" he bellowed, causing Sunshine to scurry for cover. *I can't believe that bloody dog is still alive.* The thought ran through his head that nothing was as it should be. Drusilla was never around when he needed her and Angel was going off the deep end.

Angel. He couldn't bring himself to call him Angelus. That name belonged to a different person, a god. Not the unbelievable wimp that Angel had become. Mooning over the Slayer like some sodding village idiot. It pained him to see how far his Angel had fallen. He didn't know which was worse- housebroken Angel with a soul, or this obnoxious creature who had Dru following him around like a puppy.

Want to put my tender heart in a blender
Watch it spin around to a beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous then I'm through with you

He let memories of Angelus flood his mind- their glorious first days together. The women, the blood, terrorizing whole villages. Angelus was his father, his mentor, his best friend... his lover. His 'Yoda', he recalled saying to Angel when he first got to town. Spike had worshipped Angelus- would do anything he asked of him. Then his Sire brought Drusilla into the fold; their Black Goddess, their Queen.

The three of them were the Scourge of Europe, cutting a swath across the continent. Magical nights of sex and blood, with Angelus as their guide. They were insatiable; their nights spent feeding and fucking, collapsing at dawn with Drusilla sandwiched between them. Until that fateful night when the gypsies exacted their revenge, removing Angelus from their lives.

Now Angel was back with them again, but it wasn't the same. Spike didn't want to be Luke Skywalker anymore, no sir. He had been his own master for almost one hundred years, and he liked it that way. Han Solo had always seemed to have more fun than that nancy boy Luke, anyway. And he got the girl, as well.

I burn burn like a wicker cabinet
Chalk white and oh so frail
I see our time has gotten stale

Drusilla was another matter entirely. He had spent years caring for her after Prague, treating her like a princess, and as soon as Angel crooks his little finger, she goes running off without a second thought. He supposed he still loved her in his own way, but that love was quickly turning to disgust at her behavior. The girl had no loyalty whatsoever. Maybe if he treated her like shit the way that Angel did, he would score more points with her. As it was, she had him tied up in knots, and not the fun kind, either.

The tick tock of the clock is painful,
all sane and logical
I want to tear it off the wall

He knew that Angel satisfied her penchant for S&M more than he did. Spike wasn't above a little bondage now and then, but he drew the line at mutilation. There were times when he had woken up grateful to see that his cock was still attached. Even when she was weak, Dru still got off on pain.

Spike didn't mind so much when he was the one dishing it out, but he really didn't like being on the receiving end. Dru just always seemed to take it too far. It wasn't as if you could glue the parts back on like some child's toy. Whatever happened to good old fashioned romance?

Ah, but then, she did have an incredible mouth. That alone was worth the price of admission. The things she could do to you, especially if she got inside your head. Not that he had experienced any of it lately. It had been weeks since she had shared his bed. Night after night, she went to Angel, oblivious to his own discomfort.

I hear words and clips and phrases
I think sick like ginger ale
My stomach turns and I exhale

He could hear the screams coming from Angel's room, did they think he couldn't? They assumed that because he was a bloody invalid, he was fucking deaf as well. At first, it was like chinese water torture...with holy water. Now, it was merely annoying.

The sad thing was, he knew he would take Drusilla back in a heartbeat. There was too much history between them for him to just walk away. Make that 'roll' away. He was starting to sound like Angel. Roller boy, sit and spin- the insults went on and on. Angel was quite the cut-up, wasn't he? He had always been his own greatest admirer. Drusilla wasn't helping the situation by fawning over him.

Spike's lip curled in disgust. Wonder what his pet would think if she knew where her beloved Angel spent his evenings? Yeah, that would be an interesting conversation. It was like watching a bloody soap opera... one with whips and chains, that is. Let them have their little melodrama; at least he was sane, which was more than he could say for the two of them.

So Cal is where my mind states
But it's not my state of mind
I'm not as ugly sad as you

He knew what Angel was up to with the Slayer. That wanker. The little gifts he left her. Leering in her bedroom window. Spike had followed Angel one night and saw him perched in the tree, wacking off. If he had only had the video camera then. It would be funny if it weren't so pathetic- the once great Angelus, a slave to his dick. He wondered what kind of show the Slayer put on up there in her room, to have worked Angel up into such a state. Yeah, well... good for her.

The Slayer- now there was a juicy piece. The past Slayers were nothing compared to her. The first time he had seen her dancing at the Bronze he had felt a tightening in his gut that surprised him. That golden hair and tight little body beckoning to every male in the place. She was a right tempting morsel, for sure. And the clothes she wore- Ha! WHAT clothes? She might as well be naked half the time. That dark haired one with the big tits was just as bad. No wonder Angel had a perpetual hard on.

Or am I origami folded up and just pretend
Demented as the motives in your head

Still, he had to give the girl credit. She was dealing with it all pretty well, considering. Imagine, sleeping with your boyfriend and having him turn into a demon. Had to ruin your self esteem a bit. She was all right, this Slayer. He liked her spunk. It was refreshing after almost two hundred years of women cowering in fear.

He had run into her a few times while out for a moonlight spin around town. Instead of staking his sorry ass, she had actually engaged in conversation. Even asked after his injury. It almost scared him a little. It wasn't a good idea to be having fuzzy feelings about your enemy. In fact, he had found himself becoming aroused while he was talking to her. Thank- bloody-god THAT hadn't happened while they had been fighting. He would never have lived it down. He had the feeling that the Slayer would use it to her advantage. It was all Dru's fault, anyway. If she had been seeing to his needs properly, he wouldn't have to look elsewhere.

I alone am the one you don't know
You need, take heed, feed your ego

Angelus was becoming a problem. Never mind the fact that he had Dru's head turned all around; now Spike was hearing rumors about how out of control his killing was. He was decimating the bodies- it was bound to attract attention. The Watcher had already burned them out of one home, he didn't fancy losing this one as well. That Watcher wasn't the tweed-covered wuss he appeared to be. Spike sensed in him a vicious streak that, once unleashed, could be lethal for them all. He needed to take action and soon, if he wanted to preserve his own hide.

He was surrounded by incompetents and loonies. He knew he could get the idiot patrol over to his side should the time come to challenge Angel. He wasn't so sure about Drusilla. She had to still love him, didn't she? She was so attached to her bloody Daddy, though. Maybe he could get Miss Edith to put in a good word for him. There was a thought!

If only he could just move on without her. But he relied on Drusilla too much. Her psychic ability was the least of it. From the first, she had touched something in him that he had thought was long dead. Well then, he would just have to figure out a way to get rid of Angel once and for all, and still keep Dru.

Make me blind when your eyes close
Sink when you get close- tie me to the bedpost

He just wanted things back the way they were. Back to when Drusilla needed him for every little thing. It had made him feel good to be able to take care of her, not helpless like he was now. Maybe it had been a mistake to cure her. At least when she was weak she belonged only to him. His pet, his princess, his ripe, wicked plum. His betrayer- cuckolding him, making him a laughingstock. Soon enough they would all realize that he wasn't the impotent fool they all took him for. He still had a few tricks up his sleeve. Hell on wheels, that was him. Or maybe... not.

Swallow my doubt turn it inside out

Spike pushed himself to his feet. He had been harboring his little secret for a few days now. See, he wasn't quite as paralyzed as everyone thought. He made sure the house was empty when he exercised his legs, so that no one would be the wiser. At least, not until he was ready to reveal his surprise. No, baby, this was going to be 'his' time to shine. Spike's plan was almost final.

He had been entertaining some very evil thoughts lately that involved the Slayer. He knew it was risky but desperate times called for desperate measures. If he teamed up with the Slayer, Angel couldn't win. The two of them together would be a force to be reckoned with. And Angel's day of reckoning was at hand.

Rendezvous then I'm through with you