Free To Fly

Restoration 3
By Patricia R.D.


Cool breeze and autumn leaves
Slow motion daylight
A lone pair of watchful eyes
Oversee the living
Feel the presence all around
A tortured soul
A wound unhealing
No regrets or promises
The past is gone
But can still be free
If time will set you free.

Little Darren Taylor slept peacefully in Cordelia´s lap. It didn´t seen like the 6 year old had been kidnapped the night before by Gorcan demons, who needed to ingest the boy´s heart in order to stay in this reality. But they hadn´t count on Angel.

Cordelia looked up from the sleeping figure and to the front of the car. Angel drove in silence, his eyes on the road, and maybe even somewhere else. She knew the feeling. Ever since Doyle´s death, Angel had been working like a zombie, drinking too much, even smoking. Cordelia missed Doyle too, a lot. But she needed to know Angel would be there for both of them. He couldn´t let himself to fall like that.

Beside Angel, Wesley tried without success to remove orange goo from his glasses. Good Ol’ Wesley, so full of knowledge and good intentions. He really made himself useful everytime he could, but he was not Doyle. There could never be anyone like Doyle.

Angel parked the car in front of a small house. The door opened almost immediately as a small woman came running towards them, followed by a tall dark man. Angel, Cordelia and Wesley stepped out of the car, little Darren still asleep in the girl´s arms.

“Oh, Darren!” the woman exclaimed, taking the kid in her arms and covering his little face with kisses. “My baby! My sweet, beautiful baby. Thank God, you´re home!” The man held them both in his arms, his blue eyes moist. Angel and his friends watched them for a few seconds before heading to his car.

“Wait,” the man called after them, then he looked at his wife and child. “Go inside. I´ll be there in a moment.” The woman nodded and left blessing the people who had saved her child between sobs. The man brought a piece of paper from out of his pocket and offered it to Angel.

“It´s not necessary, Mr. Taylor,” the vampire said.

“I insist,” Mr. Taylor said, his voice implying a certain authority, the tone of a man used to have things done his way if he was convince it was the best.

“Thank you, “ Angel said, accepting the check.

“No, thank you for bringing my boy home. You are truly an Angel.”

The vampire just smiled sadly before starting to walk, Wesley and Cordy right behind him.


Time now to spread your wings
To take to flight
The life endeavor
Aim for the burning sun
You´re trapped inside
But you can still be free
If time will set you free
But it´s a long long way to go

Cordelia took a sip of her coffee and stared at the check on her desk. She would take it to the bank first thing in the morning. Right now, all she wanted was a long hot shower. Wesley had gone home a little while ago and Angel was on the roof. She would finish her coffee and go.

Suddenly it came. Pain hit her so violently she fell to the floor, the coffee mug breaking up beside her fallen form. Images and sensations flashed through her head as the unbearable pain overtook her. As usual, they weren´t clear, but she managed to write something down when the pain allowed her to. When she read what she had written down and compared to her vision, she thought it couldn´t be. There was no way on earth.

Angel... Buffy... Harry


Angel was finishing his third cigarette of the night when Cordelia appeared. She looked shaken and scared.

“Another vision?” he asked. She nodded.

“What did you see?”


Angel stared at her. “Me?”

“Yes, you.”

“And what was I doing in your vision?”

Cordelia´s then pale completion turned bright red.

“You... had sex with Buffy... and Harry. Not at the same time but...”

“Oh.” He looked at the cigarette between his fingers and took a drag.

“It´s already happened, isn´t it? You and Buffy and Harry?” Cordelia asked. Angel nodded.

"I´m not Angelus if that´s what you´re thinking now.”

She walked slowly towards him. “Want to talk about it?”

Angel gave her a short version of what had happened with Harry. When he finished, Cordelia was breathless.

“So, now you can have sex with anybody you want without becoming a psycho?”

Angel chuckled. “My true happiness it´s not about sex, Delia. It’s about my internal peace, being content about my existence, loving and being loved back.”

“But you had sex with Harry.”

“And she used a spell to look like Buffy. In my mind, I was making love to Bufy, not Harry.”

“Buffy´s your true happiness.”

“It´s the love as I just told you. The first time we... it seemed to irradiate from her and wrapped itself around me.” He looked at his friend and smiled sadly. “There are no words to describe that feeling. And that´s one of the reasons I left Sunnydale. I knew that eventually, just her touch or the sound of her voice would be enough.”

“I see, and how long has it been?”

“Two weeks.”

“And why aren´t you with Buffy then?”

Angel dropped his cigarette and watched it fall until the little light was swallowed by the darkness below. When he looked at her again, he was crying.

“Oh, Angel,” was all she could say as she wrapped her arms around him and let his head rest on his shoulder.


Keep moving way up high
You see the light
It shines forever
Sail through the crimson skies
The purest light
The light that sets you free
If time will set you free

“Do you know who he is?” Cordelia asked a few minutes later. They were in his kitchen now, having tea. Angel, eyes red and sad smile, shrugged.

“Tall, light brown hair, really handsome fellow.”

“When did you see them together?”

“Last week, when I finally gathered up the courage to go to Sunnydale. There was a party and I saw Buffy there, laughing andf dancing with this guy.”

“I´m sorry, Angel. I really am.”

“It´s okay, I guess. I mean, she´s young and it´s had been a while. She seems happy now, and I can´t just go there and claim her. Things are different now.”

Corelia leaned on the table and held Angel´s hand.

“Still, it hurts,” she whispered.

“It hurts, but... it´s different now. I thought I would die from the pain, and wanted to die at least. But it just hurts, and it´s like...”

“Like it hurts less everyday.”


“Eventually it´s going to stop hurting, Angel. And then you´ll be able to look at the past with a smile on your lips, Buffy will be a good memory.”

“Like Xander´s to you.”

“Inside... Deep inside.”

Angel laughed. They remained silent after that, just finishing their tea and thinking. Finally, Angel brought up the question that was in both their minds.

“Why would you have that vision?”

“I don´t know. I felt pain, not only the migraine-y one, but a sadness and a sense of... That´s it! You´re the soul who needs saving this time!”

Angel arched an eyebrow. “Me?”

“Yes. You need help.”

“I need help.”

“To move on. You need to rejoin the human race as much as you can now that your soul it´s permanent.”

“And how exactly would that help me?”

“You´ll start to feel better about yourself, you´ll be able to control your demon better and eventually you´ll move on with your life.”

Angel opened his mouth, but closed it again. Could this sadness be more than the sadness for a lost love? A longing for something else? For his own humanity? It made sense.

Sail through the wind and rain tonight
You´re free to flight tonight
And you can still be free
If time will set you free
And going higher than moutain tops
And go high the wind don´t stop
And go high

“You may be right, Delia,” he finally said.

“I know I am, Now, let´s start with the cigarettes.”


“You´re going to stop smoking.”

“And how´s that going to help me?”

“People like people that doesn´t smoke. You want to be part of the world, you have to smell good.”

“You just want an excuse to make stop smoking.”

“That´s part of it.”

Angel took Cordelia's hand and brought it to his lips.

“You win. I´ll stop smoking.”

Cordelia smiled before standing up and kissing Angel on the cheek.


“Do you have any ideas for me?”

“Well, I think we could...”

As the former May Queen talked about different ways to help him, Angel closed his eyes and sighed. Strangely he felt better after their conversation. And the more she talked, the more he had to agree with her. And he knew that she would help him rejoin the human race as she said. He was such a fool, not realizing he still had a friend beside him all this time.

And he was thankful for having such a wonderful friend right now, realizing he was not alone anymore.

Free to flight tonight
Free to flight tonight