This was wrong.
I knew it the moment I got there. The second I stepped into the...the
warehouse- that burnt one, where Spike and Drusilla used to live- and saw Angel
standing beside a priest, (which just seemed beyond wacky to me) I knew it was
wrong. There were candles all over the place- not overkill but just...perfect. I
was in awe.
This was for me?
I looked down at my wedding dress and then gazed in astonishment at the
bouquet of flowers that I was holding. Tulips. I *hate* tulips.
I glanced over at our guests. Willow and Xander were there and they seemed
like a couple. Oz was standing beside Amy and they were talking together like
old friends. Giles and my mom stood beside each other awkwardly, each pretending
that the other wasn't there. Cordy wasn't there at all.
They all seemed so happy. Except Angel who was brooding. No big shock there.
But this was wrong.
Because suddenly I knew it- I didn't love him. It had been an obsession. For
so long everything was ‘Angel this' and ‘Angel that'. But it wasn't love. It was
like some...sick dependence. But was I really ready to let Angel go? Could I
actually step back and say- ‘Go to LA, Angel. I'll be okay. In fact, I'll be
"Stop!" I heard the scream echo through the factory. "Don't do it, Slayer!"
I'd know that voice anywhere. Even if the ‘Slayer' bit wasn't a dead
giveaway, the adorable British accent would have given it away. Wait...did I
just say ‘adorable?'
But I whirl around and he stands there in the doorway, leaning against it as
he pants. Pants? Wait- Spike doesn't breathe...
He looks scared. The only time I'd seen that expression on his face before
was when Drusilla had been sick. What the hell was he doing at my wedding?
Especially since I can see it's light outside and he'd have to have gone through
the sunlight to get here.
Ohhh, I'm starting to catch on...
"Don't marry him, Slayer-"
"Is this a dream?" I interrupt him. There's a collective gasp from my
friends, as if I *dare* to question the validity of this.
"Of course it is," Spike answers honestly and I'm surprised. Whenever I'd ask
Angel if he was real during a dream he'd give some lame, vague, non-reply.
"But," Spike continues, "that doesn't mean it has no basis in reality."
"Big words, Spike."
"I have my moments," he admits. He walks towards me and lightly takes my arm.
"You don't want this and you know it. You need to walk away."
"With you?" I ask incredulously. "Why would I ditch my wedding to run off
with my enemy?"
He grins. "Fun?" Then he turns serious, and tells me, "It isn't meant to be.
You don't love him."
"And I love you?" I say, the question sounding meaner then I had intended.
Another intake of breath from the crowd and Xander softly intones, "Harsh." I
glance over at him just as he gets elbowed in the ribs by Willow. He winces and
she gives me a bright smile. I turn back to Spike.
"I'm not saying you love me, Slayer. Bugger it all, I don't love you either,
so don't flatter yourself. But maybe me an' you could have something together.
It would be better than with Angel, anyhow. You haven't been truly happy with in
that blasted relationship since the day you met him. It's always been conflict,
and issues to be worked out."
"True," I agreed. "I do know that. But how do you?"
He smirks at me and for a moment he looks so completely, adorably,
wonderfully human that I almost consider running away with him. He tilts his
head to the side and says, "This is a dream. I can know whatever the hell I need
to know for its purposes."
I glance at Angel - the so-called "love of my life"- but Spike tightens his
grip on my arm slightly. "I can make you happy- and not just in this dream. Find
me. Dru ain't takin' me back anytime soon, and I've had feelings for you since
we met." He looks into my eyes. "Find me Slay- Buffy. Please."
I blink in surprise at the use of my name. It's so bizarre- hearing it from
his lips. But I like it. And the thought of being with Spike seems almost
familiar. Like maybe subconsciously this was what I'd wanted for so long and
here I was with my chance to get it.
I glance at Angel again and he says nothing. He shows no emotion at all. He's
like...cardboard. Then my gaze goes to Willow, who kisses Xander quickly on the
cheek and then motions for me to go off with Spike. She always was a good judge
of character. I hear my mom's voice then, and I turn to her. "Leave before I
ground you forever for running off with a soul-less demon."
I smile. "Is that a threat?" I tease.
Then I notice my dad at the far corner. He holds up a ticket to that ice show
that we go to every year, but the symbolism is lost on me. What, am I still
pissed about my last birthday...hmm...? I smile and turn back to Spike. "Let's
bail," I tell him.
He grins and seems almost surprised. "Are you bloody serious?" he asks. In
response, I take his hand in mine. He looks down at our entwined hands- still in
surprise, as if he can't believe I'd willingly go with him. Neither can I,
honestly. "You sure, luv?"
"No," I admit. "But if you annoy me or kill anyone I can totally kick your
He snorts. "You wish."
I nod. "I know."
He rolls his eyes then and pulls me towards the door. We run out and I push
open the doors. The light hits us and we stop, frozen. Spike just stares at the
sky for a second. "I haven't seen the sun in over a century." He sounds
"Didn't you see it on the way into the warehouse?"
He shakes his head as I hear the door shut behind us loudly. "Too busy trying
to stop you. I didn't pay attention." He grins suddenly and turns around in a
circle, his arms spread wide. In my dreams, Angel never relished being in the
sun- he simply was there. As if he wasn't a vamp. But as I watch my
former-mortal enemy enjoy it so completely I start to see some of the real
differences between the two vampires. And dammit, does Spike look cute.
Cute. Adorable. I can accept that now. I find Spike cute. Interesting how
that no longer seems weird to me. I grab his arm to stop the spinning and say -
when he finally slows down- "Thank you."
"No, pet-" he argues. He stops and stares at me. "Thank you for coming with
me." He grabs me around the waist suddenly and pulls me closer. I flinch because
it's so unexpected, and he senses my hesitancy. He lets go of me and leans his
head down slowly, kissing me softly. It lasts for a moment before he pulls back
and stares at me to see my reaction.
God, I really didn't want that kiss to end.
But I just grin and take his hand again, leading him away from the abandoned
building. "C'mon," I say, as we run off, me trying not to trip over my wedding
gown. And then-
My alarm goes off and I groan, not wanting to of been awaken. I roll over and
stare at the clock. It's 10:35 on a Saturday and I'm supposed to meet Giles and
the gang in an hour for a research party. But I know there's something else I
just *have* to do before going completely insane.
I grab the phone and call the library, knowing Giles is already there-
probably with Wesley listening in- so I'll have to be subtle. He picks up,
"Giles, you guys are gonna have to get down and funky with the research minus
me, okay? I had this dream and there's something I have to do."
He's instantly worried- my dreams are known to be prophetic, occasionally. "A
dream- a-anything I could help with..."
"No," I tell him and get out of bed. I carry the phone over to my closet and
choose some clothes, laying them out on my bed, and then begin packing my
over-night bag. "This is just me. I need to find someone and I think I know
where to look."
"If you need help..."
"I know." I smile, thinking about how much Giles wants to help and how glad I
am to still have him. Wesley would never get this. "I'll be back in a few days-
tell the guys not to worry, okay?"
He chuckles. "We'll save the end of the world prophecies for when you get
back, I promise."
"Thanks," I tell him and then hang up the phone. I need to find Spike. I need
to know if this was a prophecy-type dream, or if something funky was in my
veggie pizza last night. I think it's the former, but you can never be too sure.
Hopefully, I'll find him soon.
Hopefully, I can figure out what it meant.