Secrets & Lies

by: Lynn
Interlude: The Nature of the Beast

Buffy sat in the Bronze, slumped down on one of the couches, watching Willow, Oz, Xander and Cordelia dance to the house music. She looked at her watch for the tenth time in as many minutes and sighed, wanting to leave, but not wanting to hurt the others' feelings. Her leg jiggled restlessly to the music as her eyes wandered over the sea of faces on the dance floor.

The Slayerettes had converged on her almost the minute she'd arrived from L.A.. First, they'd dragged her to the library, saying that Giles was anxious to see her. Once there, she'd read the journal entries and listened as Willow rattled on about how fascinating the whole Joan of Arc thing was. Buffy had to admit, it 'was' interesting to read about something that had actually happened, and to know that Anne had witnessed it first hand. It was also disturbing.

Anne's account of Jehanne's execution had brought Buffy's dreams back to the surface. In one of them, there had been a woman being burned at the stake. Coincidence? *Yeah right, Sunnydale is just full of coincidental happenings.*

Reading the entries had freaked her again, while at the same time, had made her feel a kinship with Anne. She understood all too well the loneliness, the feeling of being trapped by her 'sacred duty'. Buffy wasn't as alone as Anne had been, but she still felt the alienation that came with being the Slayer.

Sensing her distress, Willow had insisted that Buffy come to the Bronze with them to dance and catch up on gossip. The others had readily backed her up and hadn't taken no for an answer. Oz had driven them back to Buffy's house and Willow and Cordelia hadn't left her alone for a minute, even going so far as to pick out her dress- a short, black, tank dress that left little to the imagination. As soon as she was ready, the four had hustled her out of the house before she could change her mind.

And now, here she sat- frustrated, bored- missing Spike beyond all reason. She hadn't even been able to call and let him know that she was back, something she had promised to do. Buffy wondered if he'd be pissed off at not hearing from her, or if he'd just let it go. It would depend on how hyper he was at the time. Sometimes, he practically bounced off the walls, and yet, he could also be as laid back as Oz, although she suspected he used it as a defense, in order not to feel too much. *Wonder if Oz does that too.*

Buffy's gaze drifted to the door again, part of her hoping against hope that he'd just walk in. Not that it would matter because they still wouldn't be able to talk or dance, like a normal couple. No, she would have to pretend to hate him until she could slip away. She hated 'this'. Hated sitting here, when she could be in his arms instead.

Her mind was frantically trying to think up a plausible excuse for leaving, but everything she came up with just sounded lame. She 'was' tired- had been for a couple of days- but she just figured it was a delayed reaction to too many late nights. Her father had kept her pretty busy in L.A., trying to overcompensate for his absence, as usual. Anyway, being tired wasn't a good enough reason for leaving a nightclub. Not for a teenager, at least.

"Wanna dance?"

Buffy looked up from her musing to see one of the football players from school, grinning at her in an overconfident way. She shot him down effortlessly, waving him away like a pesky insect. The expression on his face was priceless, giving her a small amount of satisfaction. It wasn't enough to make her want to stay, though. *God, will this evening ever end?* She had to get out of here, one way or another.

The song ended and Xander made his way back to her while the other three headed for the bar. Flopping down on the couch next to her, he began filling her in on the past two weeks, finishing with a dramatic retelling of how he personally had dusted a vampire. Well, 'had' been a small vampire- all right, a dwarf...and female- but still, he'd taken it out all by himself, without any help.

Buffy laughed, in spite of herself. When Xander wasn't being a jerk, he could be highly entertaining. She'd missed him, missed the way that he could always make her smile, even when she didn't feel like it. Another song started and Buffy began humming along as she recognized the tune.

The suckers lose themselves in the games
they learn to play
Children love to sing, but then their voices
slowly fade away

"Come on, Buff. Dance with me," Xander said, grabbing her hand. She gave a token protest, laughing again as he began gyrating to the music. Buffy allowed him to pull her to her feet, shaking her head the whole time.

People always take a step away from what is true
That's why I like you around
I want you

Spike stared at them from the catwalk, his eyes following every move that the Slayer made. He'd seen her leaving the house with her mates and followed them here, knowing that he was out of his bloody mind, but not really giving a fuck. He'd settled himself in the shadows and watched as she sat there, saw how she gazed pensively toward the exit every few minutes. He could see that she didn't want to be there and wondered if she was thinking about him. About being with him.

Yeah, you do, you do, you do,
you do, you do, you do, you do...
You make me want you...

He'd seen the muscle-bound boy come up to her and he'd tensed, relaxing as she dismissed him. But then the other one had come back- 'that boy'- the one that Angelus had hated so much. He had sat down next to her as if he belonged there...made her laugh at his sodding antics. Spike could feel the jealousy simmering below the surface, wishing that 'he' could be the one down there next to her, letting everyone know that they were together.

An open invitation to the dance
Happenstance set the vibe that we are in

As he watched, the boy pulled the Slayer to her feet and led her to the dance floor. She was smiling, mouthing the words as she followed him, her body already moving to the beat. The song was slow, erotically charged...a song about longing. The words surrounded him, saying everything that he wanted to say, surprising him with their appropriateness.

No apology because my urge is genuine
And the mystery of your rhythm is so feminine
Here I am and I want to take a hit of your scent
'cos it bit so deep into my soul

Spike stared, transfixed by the sight of her shapely legs slinking across the floor. The black dress that she wore was almost unbearably short and tight, hugging her curves in all the right places. He growled low in his throat as he thought about how much he'd missed her. Standing here, looking at her, his need was palpable...burning. And all he could do was watch- watch as she danced with someone else. Watch the boy's eyes glaze over as her hips swayed enticingly in front of him.

I want you...
Yeah, you do, you do, you do,
you do, you do, you do, you do...
You make me want you

Yeah, you do, you do, you do,
you do, you do, you do, you do...
Send me all your vampires
I want you...

Xander was trying to dance with a raging hard-on, praying that Cordelia wouldn't come along and interrupt them. Buffy hadn't danced with him this way since that one other time, at the beginning of the school year when she'd had all those issues. Her body twisting and turning to the music in a slow, sensuous motion. Except that this time, she wasn't rubbing up against him. It was as if he wasn't there, as if she didn't even feel his hands as they guided her hips. It didn't matter, though. Just the sight of her writhing in front of him was enough to drive him crazy.

And I can't get enough
And I can't get enough
And I can't get enough

Buffy let the music take her, felt it flow through her body. It had been a long time since she'd danced, and she'd forgotten how much she enjoyed it. The words of the song resonated inside her and she closed her eyes, imagining that it was Spike who moved with her, Spike whose hands held her hips as they rocked back and forth. She wanted him- needed him- and her whole body throbbed with it.

The village church yard is filled with bones
weeping in the grave
The silver lining of clouds shines on people
Jesus couldn't save

You want to know how deeply my soul goes
Deeper than bones
Deeper than bones

The Slayer rocked and swayed to the music, eyes closed, arms reaching up above her head as she moved to the beat. Spike could see the tension in the boy's face as she brushed against him, could see how aroused the boy was becoming. As aroused as Spike was. His grip tightened around the railing, and the music covered the sound of groaning metal beneath his hands. He fought hard to control the bloodlust that was brought on by watching another man putting his hands on his woman. No, not a man. Just a useless boy. It didn't matter- he was male and he was touching the Slayer- that was enough.

After we did it by the windowsill
smoke rings drift into the midnight sky
Presently in the quilt that your mother made
And a candle burns to fight off the gloom

She could almost feel Spike calling to her, could almost feel his presence as if he was standing right there. Her movements became more sinuous as thoughts of him filled her head and heat flooded her core. She completely forgot about Xander, focusing instead on the memory of Spike's hands on her body, his lips brushing across her skin. And all the while, the music pounded in her veins, the words seemingly written just for her.

You said to live this way is not for the meek
And like a jazz DJ, you talk me into sleep

Spike's eyes glowed with yellow light as lust and jealousy warred within him. He had an almost uncontrollable urge to rip the boy's throat out, an urge that he hadn't felt in weeks. He'd known from the start that they would always have to hide, that they wouldn't be able to have anything resembling a 'normal' relationship, but that didn't make it any easier to swallow. It didn't stop him from wanting what he bloody well couldn't have.

I said there'll be no regrets when the worms come
And they shall surely come

You do, you do, you do, you do,
you do, you do, you do
You make me want you

Her skin was on fire- from the song, from the dancing, from the images in her head. She needed to see him- had missed him desperately...and wished more than anything that he could be here with her now. Touching her. Kissing her. Almost unconsciously, she reached out with her spider sense, trying to feel Spike, as if she could summon him with just her mind.

I want you
Send me all your vampires

I want you
Send me all your vampires

As the music faded away, Buffy felt the familiar tingling creep down her spine. It didn't have to be him, it could be any vampire trolling for victims...but still....

She moved away from Xander and mumbled something about the ladies room, leaving before he could say anything. Her eyes roamed the crowd, searching for platinum blond hair, but came up empty. With a heavy sigh, she headed for the restroom to splash some water on her face and cool down.

The hallway leading to the bathrooms was deserted. As Buffy passed by the equipment room, a hand suddenly grabbed her arm and pulled her inside.

She landed against a hard body and tensed for a fight, unable to see much in the darkness. He closed the door and shoved a heavy speaker in front of it, still holding her struggling body with his other arm. As his scent filled her nostrils she relaxed, sighing as she pressed closer to his lean frame.


Growling, he captured her mouth in a kiss filled with icy fire- hard, demanding- almost brutal. Buffy whimpered as his tongue battled fiercely with hers, feeling his hands gripping her tightly, bruising her skin. The fact that they were in a public place dimly registered, but her need for him overrode any hesitation she might have felt. He was here, just as she'd wished him to be...and he tasted so good, felt so incredible, with his hardness rubbing against her through the thin material of her dress.

"I missed you," she murmured as her lips trailed down his neck, her tongue flicking out to tease the sensitive flesh.

Spike was almost blind with hunger, jealousy having inflamed his lust to a fever pitch. Unable to wait, he turned her until she was bent over the speaker, his hands ripping her underwear from her body. Freeing his raging cock, he plunged it into her moist heat, groaning as her familiar walls tightened around him. With his arm around her stomach, he drove into her hard and fast while his other hand fondled her breasts, rubbing her nipples through the fabric of the dress.

Buffy was startled by his roughness at first, but her body quickly responded, reveling in the feeling of him pounding into her. Loving the feeling of him stretching her, the feeling of him draped possessively across her back. The barely restrained violence of his lovemaking. She met his thrusts, driving him deeper still, the music covered her cries as the pressure built inside her to an almost unbearable level.

As the Slayer arched against him, Spike growled in her ear, forcing out words in a gutteral voice. "I...saw you...dancing...with him..." His hand came up and tangled in her hair, tugging her head back so that he could see her face. "You. Belong. To. Me. You're mine, Slayer."

"MINE," he repeated, burying his fangs in the nape of her neck, claiming her like a lion claiming his mate.

Spike's words rang in Buffy's ears and something primal deep within her answered, her muscles clenching down tightly on him as she came violently, biting her lip to keep from screaming. She could feel Spike following her into orgasm, and a mewing sound came from her throat as she spasmed around him. His cock throbbed and pulsed inside her as her blood flowed into his mouth, and he came in powerful, racking shudders, flooding her with his cold semen.

Their bodies stayed joined together, shaking uncontrollably as they came down from their climax. Buffy could feel Spike purring against her neck as he lapped at the blood still dripping from his bite. She shivered and laid her hand on the one holding her waist, lacing her fingers with his, a feeling of contentment spreading through her.

"I love you, Spike," she sighed as his lips traveled over shoulder and up her neck. He pulled out of her and turned her in his arms, kissing her swollen lips with a tenderness that contradicted the savagery of his lovemaking, just moments before. Brushing his lips over her jaw, he slowly sank to his knees in front of her, hands caressing her thighs as he pushed the hem of her dress up.

Buffy's breath caught in her throat as she felt him licking at the fluid that was beginning to seep out of her. Like a cat, he cleaned her, removing all traces of cum from her legs and her sex. She moaned as pleasure coursed through her again, tangling her fingers in his hair as she pressed her clit into his mouth. Spike latched on, sucking and licking until she exploded in ecstasy, softly crying out his name as he continued stroking her throughout the aftershocks.

He buried his face in her stomach, holding her tightly around the waist. "I missed you, Slayer." He pulled back and looked up at her, eyes glowing in the darkness of the room. "I thought I'd go bloody insane, these last two weeks."

"Me, too."

"I wanted to kill him for touching you. Just for dancing with you." Spike groaned and pressed against her again. "Bloody hell, I'm no better than Angelus."

Buffy dug her fingers into his hair and pulled, yanking his head back so that he could see her face. "Don't say that! You're nothing like him." She smiled softly. "Besides, you didn't go after Xander. There's hope for you yet."

He smiled back and rose to his feet, handing her the torn panties. Buffy looked at them and shook her head. "What am I supposed to do with these?" She handed them back. "Here, add them to your collection."

"What makes you think I have a collection of your torn knickers?" he asked, defensively.

Buffy just raised an eyebrow. "Don't you?"

Spike snatched the panties out of her hand and stuffed them in his pocket, refusing to answer her. He fastened his jeans and grabbed her, pulling her close for another kiss. After a moment, he broke away, saying, "Make your excuses and meet me outside, around the corner."

He pushed the speaker away from the door and she opened it a crack, checking to see if the coast was clear. Kissing him quickly one last time, Buffy hurried to the ladies room to freshen up, then went in search of the others.

Spike closed the door and leaned his head against it, thinking about the effect she had on him. He'd been like an animal, marking her with his bite. It rankled a bit, the way he'd shown his desperation. She hadn't seemed to mind his possessiveness, though. Quite the opposite, actually; she'd seemed pleased by it. They were more alike than either one cared to admit. She had a restlessness that matched his own, a wildness that called out to his dark side. He wondered if she was as aware of it as he was.


Buffy was extremely conscious of her lack of underwear as she made her way to the table. She would make small talk for five minutes, and then claim illness. It wouldn't be too hard to fake; the club was hot and stuffy and she had seen in the mirror that her cheeks were flushed. They would just assume that she was coming down with something.

All four looked up at her approach, relief evident on their faces.

"Buffy! Where did you go? Is everything okay?" Willow's worried tone sent a pang of guilt through her, but it quickly vanished as she concentrated on getting the hell out of there.

"I went to get some air and ran into a vamp out in the alley. It took awhile to stake him." She figured that would explain her slightly mussed hair and smudged makeup. Buffy just prayed that they hadn't gone looking for her outside.

"We got you a drink. C'mon and sit down." Willow pointed to a cup next to Oz.

"Thanks," Buffy replied and leaned across Oz to retrieve her soda.

As she did so, Oz's nostrils twitched and flared, his head rearing back in surprise. "That's, interesting perfume you're wearing, Buffy." She turned to look at him, puzzled. "I'm not wearing- " Comprehension dawned as green eyes looked back at her with animal-like awareness. "When is the full moon?" she asked in a low, panic-stricken voice.

"In two days."

Two days. Oz was only one day from his cycle, which meant that all of his senses were enhanced. *Oh god, he can 'smell' me!* The other three weren't paying any attention, talking about a double date that they had planned for the weekend.

"Oz?" Buffy whispered, paling as a refrain of 'oh gods' echoed in her head. Buffy pleaded with her eyes, begging him not to say anything.

She sighed with relief when he nodded, sinking into her chair as her legs gave out. Her relief was shortlived, however, as she realized that Oz would probably tell Willow. *Willow won't say anything, she's good at keeping secrets.* There was nothing she could do about it anyway and better Oz and Willow than Xander and Cordelia. Buffy took a drink and set the cup down with shaking hands.

Willow looked over and immediately noticed the Slayer's pallor. "Buffy, are you all right? You don't look so good."

Buffy smiled weakly. "Actually, I'm not feeling very well. I think I'll call it a night." She pushed herself to her feet, feeling a wave of dizziness as the noise and heat closed in on her.

Oz started to get up. "I'll drive you."

"NO! I-I'll walk. The fresh air will do me good. I'll see you guys at the library tomorrow, all right?" Without waiting for a response, Buffy hurried for the door, anxious to be away from Oz's knowing stare and Willow's friendly concern.

*God, God, God, thank you for making Xander and Cordelia so oblivious!* Stumbling out the door, Buffy took huge gulps of air, trying to calm the nausea that threatened to overwhelm her. *Spike. Just find Spike and everything will be okay.*

Fighting her panic, she headed for the next block, wondering if her world was about to cave in around her.