One Wild Ride

Chapter 6.2 -Let's Just Kill Each Other

Pike finally surfaced around dusk, though he'd not spent the whole time asleep having passed a great deal of the day with Joy. This had suited Spike, who still eyed the vampiress nervously whenever she passed him. It didn't help that the sight of her trim still naked figure was making him horny as hell.

*Buffy mate, think about Buffy*. His jeans tightened even more as he pictured her naked instead, *Whatever you do, for fucks sake, don't think about Buffy*.

During the daylight hours he'd mainly caught a few Z's but had been questioned by both Angel and Dutch. The former seemed delighted that his new companero had provided el jefe with such a woman. Dutch on the other hand was pissed, pissed that Pike had let himself get distracted, pissed cause he was jealous of Joy for Pike's affections and equally jealous that Pike hadn't shared hers yet. Spike decided to give the ugly vampire a wide berth till his anger cooled.

Now however a refreshed 'Mr Bishop' walked over to Spike and sat down opposite him. "So are they both still here?"

Assuming that he meant the Slayers, Spike nodded. "Yeah they're very much alive and high kicking, I only saw Buffy though and that was from a safe distance".

"Gecko with her?" Pike didn't sound as pissed as Angel usually did when he mentioned the name, the older vampire just regarded it as a business matter unlike the vendetta the Mexican wanted to wage.

"She was patrolling with him, there was a civilian as well, a bird, and of course my old chum Angelus", Spike felt annoyed at having to say the last part, he'd hoped the wanker would be out of town. "My Sire".

It was not uncommon for vampires to detest their Sire, Spike hated his but due to the dire embarrassment he'd become rather than the cruelties the twisted sod had inflicted on his Childe over the years before the curse, those had been natural for a vampire. Now look at him *A bloody vegetarian almost, totally housebroken*. It was enough to make you sick.

Worse was the fact that the news was spreading, a vampire who hunted with the Slayer, the mighty Angelus leashed. Even in Brazil vampiric conversations had tailed off as Spike walked into the room, several minions had learned the mistake of laughing behind their hands in a Master Vampires sight.

Spike of course qualified his own conversion to the 'light side of the force' by the fact it was his own decision and didn't stem from some stupid bloody curse. Anyone who had anything to say about it would be lucky to avoid a punch up the throat

Now an amused look crossed Pike's face, proving that even he a bloke who had hidden away in Mexico had heard about 'Soul Boy', it was with great difficulty that Spike resisted the urge to kick his teeth in. "Sick isn't it? The git turns against his own kind cause of some poxy spell", shrugging Spike asked the question he liked to throw at those he didn't beat to a pulp. "Would it have stopped you, from killing that is?"

"No", Pike pondered. "Though even with a soul I'd still have to eat, I suppose I might have gone back to robbing banks. Blood banks".

"Yeah well I did a bit of that in my young day", Spike sighed at the memories. "Not banks as such, but rich blokes and an occasional mail coach, of course Angelus buggered that up when he turned me, straight after I'd made a good score too, the bastard".

"Well you'll have your chance for revenge if he stands against me", noting Spikes look of horror Pike added. "Not like I'd expect you to kill your own sire son, there are limits even to the loyalty I expect, but you get to watch".

Revealing the true horror of it all, Spike leaned over to the former outlaw and whispered, "He killed his you know, Darla was her name, he staked her in the back".

Thinking back to the Mexican vampire who having killed the bounty hunters carrying him north had thought he'd acquired five new minions Pike smiled. "I think I might like him, during the few seconds we'll be acquainted".

"Come on then son, we've sat here long enough", Pike rose and approach Angel, the Mexican was ideally strumming an old guitar. "Well are you ready to go meet the ladies?"

"Si, el jefe", Angel smiled, and put down the guitar picking up a Winchester rifle instead."Do we all go Pike?"

"No just pick out eight of the boys who are sober", Pike checked the loads in his peacemaker as he spoke, clicking the cylinder round. "We're just gonna go chat to our Slayers ask em to leave peaceable".

Angel looking puzzled did as he was asked.

"Aren't they just gonna come to the sensible conclusion and just petrol bomb the gaffe?" Spike was puzzled hence his slip back into true London slang. "Especially if they get a close look at what they're up against".

"I've a plan son", Pike tapped a finger to his own nose, then holstered his gun. "Don't you worry your blond head over it".

As Pike wandered off to find Dutch shouting, "Come on you lazy old bastard". Spike put his duster on thinking as he did, *Oh fuck he's got a plan, I bet its a cunning one and I bet I don't like it and nor will Buffy*.

He hoped to hell that his new allies hadn't lost their skill at improvisation they would need them.

The library hummed with activity, Giles had a discreet word with Miss Kochanski and the security staff had the night off, *What an extremely intelligent well read person she is*, he was still reflecting after discussing the various works they had both admired. It had startled him however when Karen asked him for a list of volumes on the occult she should read to get a better understanding of the situation she faced.

*Once this is over, I shall have to explain it to her properly. I mean she's looking at me like I'm some kind of hero, when of course its Buffy who does the real work*.

As Giles thought this (instead of sharpening a kukris), Buffy and Xander (who should have been checking the flights on crossbow bolts) were having a heated debate, but a quiet one.

"Xander, have you spoken to him yet?"

"Who?" Xander hoped to god that Buffy had forgotten the previous mornings conversation.

"Giles", Buffy said in a low dangerous voice. "You remember how he needs to be told Miss K has a thing for him before she meets some other guy, who's maybe under 10 years older than her".

"Oh Buff", Xander seriously considered begging to be let off the task, but dropping to his knees in front of a girl might be misunderstood in a public forum, plus Buffy's face pretty though in was to gaze at was currently marred by the glint of steel in her eyes.

He was glad that Willow was temporarily engaged making sure the very soon to be lupine Oz was comfortable in the cage and safe from prying eyes with adequate water and a little raw food. Xander also had the joy of Queen C's soon to be presence in the Library to look forward to as she had been conscripted into three nights of emergency werewolf cover. Frankly he'd rather face Mexican bandits any day.

"Don't oh Buff me!", The Slayer gently prodded Xander in the chest with the blunt end of a bolt too fully get his attention. "Telling him is a guy thing, your the nominated guy, so get him told".

Xander's voice rose just a little. "Do ya think he hasn't figured it out? You saw his face when he came back in here yesterday, he knows, he's biding his time".

"Tell him!" Buffy wasn't gonna give an inch. Xander had to do his duty, so it had been writ.

"Say why don't you speak to Karen, suggest some new direct approach", desperately Xander tried to think of one, then he smiled and unthinking began. "Maybe you should lend her your black rain-coat..".

It would perhaps have gone badly for Xander had Willow not chosen that moment too join her friends. "Has he told him yet?" was her first question.

"No", Buffy tried to sound as disgusted as possible. "The wuss is still trying to get out of it".

Buffy hadn't shared the knowledge of the Wesley and Faith problems with her friends, Giles had told her not to until Pike had been dealt with so whilst on the one hand she felt bad about keeping them in the dark, on the other at least she could still have reasonably normal conversations with Xander and Willow.

Normal didn't however really sum up a situation in which a known felon was fitting two very recently stolen shotguns with improvised shoulder slings on one side of the reading table whilst his girl tipped the shot from illegally purchased cartridges and replaced them with wooden plugs, fire hardened on the chem labs Bunsen burners earlier that day.

Nor was it possibly normal for a blond witch to be taking pot shots at a target with a crossbow in a school library, but that was what Giles still had Amy doing.

"She's not bad", Buffy said to Willow, causing Xander to sigh with relief at the escape from the Giles subject. "Of course, how she'll do against a moving target is a another matter".

"We all gotta start somewhere", Willow was pleased Amy doing so much to fit in, post rat the girl had made major effort.

The red head raised the subject that they were all avoiding, "What's keeping them?"

This meant Faith, Wesley and Cordelia none of whom had shown, and of them, only Cordelia's absence was looked upon with any very faint degree of regret. Buffy had a dream in which Wesley had gone home and emailed his resignation to the Watchers Council, she doubted it would come true, as it had been followed by one in which Spike had turned out to be a secret agent for MI6, code name 008 in fact.

Angel, who Buffy had cause to wish back in LA after the heartache he had inflicted on her, would be here soon. Joyce was at the mansion ready to drive him the second the sun set. Buffy had abandoned her efforts to run the Mayor out of town and finally accepted her offer to do a little something to help. She was under strict instructions to either stay in the library with Cordy and discuss moisturizer or go home once her allotted task was done. Buffy wasn't taking her mom into battle.

"Do you think it'll end up in a gun fight at the Ok Corral deal?" Willow suddenly asked.

"I hope not Will", Buffy had still not developed any real doubts about Spike's testimony, a secret part of her wouldn't object to him turning up to shout, "April fool", five seconds before he was staked.

Further conversation was stilled when Faith walked in wearing a black jacket, white blouse and sprayed on black pants, black boots completed her fairly restrained outfit, a bulging holdall showed she'd emptied out her own weapons supply.

"Hey guys, what's shakin?" she said cheerfully.

The response was underwhelming to say the least, a few "hi's" a "hullo" and a "hey". Xander and Willow ignored her completely.

Not that Faith was the slightest bit fazed. "Yo G-man scratch me up three strikes for last night".

"You mean you didn't find any vampires on your patrol either?"he assumed she was using some kind of baseball term. Buffy had of course found a vampire but Giles wanted to keep Spike quiet for now, knowing how Wesley might use his continued undeadness against Buffy. "What Angel says must be true then, they are all at the roadhouse".

They had spoken to Angel who had agreed to pretend he had found out about Pike, thus leaving Giles free to explain the extended risk to life and limb to the group.

"No G-man your not catchin my drift", Faith smirked glad to be three up on her rival Slayer. "The suckfest ho was a no show, so when the Bronze closes I cruise on over to the Fish Tank to check the action there and guess what I catch three vamps trying to hot-wire a ride".

"Oh three strikes", Giles smiled just a little. "All by yourself too, very well done". That was the limit of his Faith congratulating as his mind moved to, *So I wonder how many of Sunnydale's resident vampires ran and what percentage went to the roadhouse?*

He didn't therefore really take in Faiths softly spoken response. "G anytime you want to find out what else I can do three times a night...".

Everyone else did and made their feelings known, but Faith was way past being bothered by scowls from Slayerettes. She took in who wasn't in the room and gave a little grin. "Yo B can I have a word outside".

*Yeah, in fact two and the second will be off*, grimly, knowing what was coming, Buffy followed Faith through the Library doors. She noted that Amy put her crossbow down and went to join Xander and Willow, maintaining his comfort zone.

"B tell me Seth's a fast worker", Faith was all mock good fellowship, "Tell me the limey bastard is no more".

Faith leaned in getting right in Buffys face, the bright red lipstick and the not too cheap perfume didn't do much for the older Slayer who stepped back. Faith grinned a little wider.

"I haven't asked Seth to kill him", Buffy made no effort to control the look of hate she threw Faith as she spoke, "And I won't. We're up against so many vampires now we may all die anyway. So if Seth kills Wesley, then Wesley can't fight with us".

"Jesus B do ya think that little shit would be any kind of use in a battle?" but Faith had stopped smiling. "So what are the odds?"

Buffy shrugged, "Try 7 too 1".

Faith whistled low, "I tend to pass at over five but hey we get the drop on the bastards and its dust central". Faith paused and the grin returned. "Shit girl I'm gonna have the raging horn after this one, even you and Willow had better watch your sweet asses".

Buffy didn't say a word in response but Faith knew that as usual she'd found exactly which buttons to press, and so she went on. "But then again while your both pretty in a common kind of way your neither of you are my type".

Faith began to walk round a speechless Buffy to get to the Library doors. "B, Xander could be in for a total happy if only you'd stop with the protective circle of fems, post slayage last night I had to go into the Fish Tank to find a guy, ok he was hung but not as sweet as Xander".

It might have been a twisted declaration of love but it didn't come out that way, Buffy knew that while Faith still wanted Xander for sex, the attraction was mainly just as a route back into the Slayerettes, hoping that the others would accept her as Xander's girl sooner or later. Meanwhile she could imagine the abusive ways Xander would get used, Faith had never forgiven the rejection that had led her too beat the teen up.

"Yeah right", Buffy grabbed Faiths arm and pulled her back, Faith raised one eyebrow and smiled at the blond, daring her to throw a punch. Instead Buffy just went on. "As if Xander would ever want a ho like you, getting beaten would be the least of his worries with the way you screw your way round town herpes would be the main one".

Faith laughed but pulled her arm free, in Buffys face again she answered tartly. "It's a risk we girls who fuck the living have to take. I'm gonna have Xander back", now Faith mock studied Buffys face then flicked the tip of her tongue around her own scarlet lips. "Unless that is you have anything sweeter to offer me in exchange".

Buffy dropped into a fighting stance, "No actually I don't, what I can offer you is a fist, this isn't the best of times to kick your ass you bitch but I will if you don't leave Xander alone".

"Na I don't think so B, the boys mine and I'll fight you anytime you like", Faith knew her fellow Slayer wouldn't start anything now , she needed Faith uninjured and unpissed to keep her friends alive, but later?. "Yeah once this is over lets you and I get down and bloody, your face won't be so pretty minus a few teeth".

"What I do to yours will only improve it", Buffy shot back. Instead of anger all she got was laughter as Faith looked down the corridor over the blonds shoulder.

"Oh look if it isn't your fav corpse", she opened the library door but fired a parting shot. "Necrophilia is so you".

"Fucking whore", Buffy said to the closing door. Then turned to see Angel standing a few yards behind her looking worried to an extent only he could manage.

"Buffy is it still bad between you?" Angel came up to her, he was dressed all in black and Buffy's heart felt like it might stop beating, but no matter how fine he looked she wasn't going to be hurt by him again.

Finding her voice she answered. "It's getting worse, sooner or later one of us is gonna kill the other". She put her hands to her face. "Why does it have to be like this Angel? I tried so hard to be her friend".

"Sometimes I wish I'd hit her a lot harder that I did", seeing Buffy so upset Angel moved to comfort her.

Strong arms enfolded her and for a few seconds Buffy surrendered to the familiar feeling of being hugged against Angeles chest as he gently stroked her hair, she wished so badly it could be different, that he could have had his soul forever, that she could have had him for the rest of her no doubt short violent life but no it couldn't be.

Exerting her Slayers strength, Buffy pushed him away. "No Angel not again please!"

"I'm sorry", he shook his head looking hurt by her action. "I was only trying too help you".

"I know that", gently taking his hand Buffy tried to force a smile. "Angel I have to stand alone now, I'm not your girl anymore. We can be friends, but that's all".

There was a modicum of contempt in Angels voice as he answered. "Do you think Seth's the solution, a murderer a robber?"

"That's over to", Buffy interrupted him, letting go his hand. "I'm all alone now, except for my friends, and you don't talk like you're one of them".

"I'm sorry", the vampire made to take her hand but she wouldn't let him folding her arms. "I try not to be jealous, but Seth was just so wrong for you".

"Who wouldn't be for you but you", She said it very gently and knew from the look in his eyes that he would love her for eternity, *And I you* she almost sobbed out.

"Come on", she said. "Lets go join the others we need to get ready".

In the library things were quickly taking shape, Seth handed Angel and Buffy their shotguns and got their weapons adjusted so the barrels wouldn't show.

"When you need to use it just reach through the hole I've cut in your coat pocket, grip the barrel and pull", Seth explained, "That'll lengthen the sling enough to aim, but boys and girls coats off first if we can".

Angel looked at the shotgun in distaste, he'd used a gun from time to time pre-curse, mobs had a greater respect for a vampire with a blunderbuss that one with just fangs, but this.

Buffy felt the same particulary in the light of having to walk round Sunnydale carrying firearms, it didn't seem right to her.

"I know", the ex-robber nodded sensing their feelings. "These guys will be armed, stakes aren't gonna cut it so we gotta go at them with everything we've got".

Faith had confiscated the fourth shotgun and was alternately loading the weapon and then ejecting the cartridges with rapid movements of the slide, even so it didn't stop her making snide remarks about Amy's crossbow technique.

"You know sis your not too bad with that old thing", Faith finally acknowledged. "Of course that don't mean that when it comes to it, you won't rat out on your friends again".

She waited for a response but it didn't come from Amy who merely fired off a dead center shot whilst praying, *Goddess give me the strength to overcome my trials of which Ms. Foul Mouth is the least*.

Willow on the other hand had enough. Addressing her remarks to Xander she said loudly. "At least we don't need to worry about innocent bystanders where Amy's concerned. She wont accidentally kill anyone and then try to blame it on somebody else".

"Next time it might not be an accident", Faith whispered it, knowing however that the vampire and Slayer in the room would hear her. Ejecting the last round from the gun she playfully aimed it at Willows head. A set stare was the witches response and not wishing to sprout whiskers just yet, Faith wisely switched her aim to the library doors, just as Wesley walked in.

The Watcher paled and took a step back then flinched as the Slayer pulled the trigger producing a hard dry click as the pin struck the empty chamber. Faith laughed at the deadly silence that descended on the room and began to reload the gun.

Wesley didn't say a word as he entered the room, he looked at Buffy then away from the hard unyielding look of contempt she sent him. The others just bore the usual pitying "why'd you have to come here" looks they produced around him. Giles got all the respect all the affection, he was the reason his Slayer hated him.

Without asking any permission but without meeting any opposition Wesley picked up one of the two new shotguns and a box of shells then walked straight into Giles office and shut the door. "Careful with that boy, it's loaded", Seth shouted after him, then soto voice to Buffy added. "Lets hope the mother-fucker has an accident".

Startled Buffy just looked at him, the sight of Wesley with a gun had reminded her what Giles had said that morning, "Don't turn your back on him". needing to be out of there she put on her coat. Angel and Seth did the same, checked their shotguns where securely covered then looked at the boss.

Addressing herself first to Giles she said, "I know you'll be with us as soon as you can if we need you".

"You can Count on it", Giles knew she'd arranged things so that barring an encounter with Pikes whole force it would be over by the time her less battle hardened friends had arrived, one way or another.

Turning to her 'elite force' Buffy nodded. "Lets go".

In Giles' office, Wesley sat staring at the weapon in front of him and the wood tipped projectiles that would be loaded into it. Gently he picked the weapon up and ejected the ten buckshot filled rounds it held into a desk draw he'd purposely opened.

*Tonight or tomorrow night, she'll see how a Wyndham-Price can fight*, he reflected bitterly on the days events the ex-watcher was wrong Wesley hadn't made any calls, he knew Buffy was the only game in town and he could not be seen to be unable to handle her.

*I'll be the greatest Watcher ever, or die in the attempt.* He didn't fear Buffy, he didn't fear vampires he feared his peers contempt.

Outside he heard Cordelia's voice and snorted with contempt. *Vapid little slut, if she hadn't distracted me in the car*. But that was over now, and would not happen again. He'd enjoy himself with her but not let her interfere with his duty.

He picked up one of Seth's vamp killing cartridges and made to load it then paused. *Whilst Giles is here I'll always be second best, even if he goes off with Faith, Buffy will hate me for the rest of her life for having him sent away*.

His hand went into the desk draw and came out with a buckshot filled cartridge. He loaded it into the shotgun, then copied Faith but by aiming the weapon at a photograph of Giles from his days as an archaeologist.

*I'll fight well and prove myself to her, and next week all Giles will be is an entry in the Times Obituary column*, Wesley smiled for almost the first time that day. *And a small one at that*.

Spike was driving into Sunnydale once more, but this time he had the great pleasure of being behind the wheel of his DeSoto, Angel was sat once more beside him smiling proudly at the speed of action of "the people of my village". The car had been on the lot when the suns last rays have disappeared behind the hills they emerged from the roadhouse, Spike had whooped as he ran over to it his truck forgotten, a quick delve into the trunk revealed his 500 stolen cigarettes untouched and smokable.

Now he was following the tail lights of the two jeeps that Pike and Dutch had taken from the lot, they where being driven by shit scared minions so Spike was keeping his distance, alone once more in a vehicle with the sire of the troops Pike relied on for his power the blond took his chance.

"So mate what's Pike got planned?" Best to make a bold front of it Spike had decided.

He was disappointed with the result Angel just shrugged, "He is Pike, he does not share his plans with anyone".

Angel looked across at his driver, "But Senor we will like it a lot and your Slayer will not, this I guarantee". Then he laughed and Spike without any hesitation joined in but thinking, *Oh bugger, this is gonna be one bastard of a night, I don't think Buffys gonna like it at all, and guess which lucky sod gets to tell her what the plan is, muggins here, e.g. me*.

With his knowledge of Sunnydale's geography he grasped Pikes destination early on, the outlaw was heading for the cemetery prime Slayer hunting site that it was. They parked round the back of the Funeral Home, there was no security no one even in Sunnydale was dumb enough to take that job.

The vampires tumbled out of the vehicles and Pike arranged his forces, two Mexicans were left behind to guard the rear, the transport and the potentially footloose minions. Then Pike led the remaining nine vampires into the cemetery, they moved silently eyes scanning for potential points of ambush each locked in their own thoughts.

Spikes mind raced, What's he gonna do, what's he gonna do, what's he gonna do?* Buffy and Faith together would be pressed to take on nine vampires in one sitting but if the rest of the Slayerettes came with then crossbow bolts and bullets would fly randomly and nobody would currently shed any tears over a dusted Spike. *Perhaps Dru will if she ever hears*.

They walked on toward the middle of the graveyard, Spike getting very annoyed by the sound of jingling spurs, it hardly fitted in with what he considered to be the sneaky approach. Then finally Pike halted at a crossroads in the path ways right in the center of an area of older large gravestones and substantial tombs and monuments. Pike nodded approvingly, this would do.

First and in Spanish he addressed his six rifle armed bandits telling them to disperse themselves amongst the tombstones and at all costs to avoid being seen. Quickly they ran to find hiding places that offered them good fields of fire.

Turning to his three remaining followers Pike gestured to a space between two monuments, "You boys sit between those", he took a cigar out from his coat pocket. "When I drop this come out weapons ready, but don't shoot till I say so".

"Have we come to fight or to hide", Dutch shouldered his shotgun. "Mr Bishop what's the plan, some of us are getting tired of being in the dark".

"That's a damned good place for a vampire to be", Pike lit his cigar then pointing it at Dutch replied. "You'll hide when your told to and fight when your told to and you'll know the plan when your need to".

With that he turned his back, Dutch scowled at him for a few seconds then the vampires hid.

Hunkered down between two marble sarcophagus Angel and Spike listened to Dutch bitch, "Hiding from a damned girl, if this don't beat all, I don't know why we ever left old Mexico but it sure wasn't for this", looking at his two companero's he asked them, "Isn't a damned stake all she's gonna be carrying?"

"If she has spent any time with Gecko she will have a gun", Angel whispered not wanting Pike to overhear them.

"No, she's only expecting some strippers and a band", Dutch snarled in contempt, "That's hardly a comparison to us". Spike had informed them how Willy had revealed Tricks plan to Seth, the vampires had laughed it up at fooling a Slayer too.

"It's still 25 vampires", Spike tried to caution the vampire, but softly the bloke was the most physically dangerous of the three leaders. "Add on Trick and his minions and she'd take no chances".

He didn't catch the angry look that Dutch sent him for this contribution, a sudden thought occurred to him and added itself to the fear that Buffy would walk into a trap. *What if she acts like she already knows who Pike is, says his name before he introduces himself, if Pikes not planning a gunfight just to warn her off, I'm gonna be the obvious candidate for the title of blabber*.

Suddenly somebody shattered this chain of thought by shaking him by the shoulder, Spike started, "Are you listening to me boy?" Dutch hissed into his ear.

"No mate I wasn't", Spike felt his demon rise, he'd taken a lot these past few days, through love for Buffy and a strong urge for self preservation he'd restrained himself but his temper had worn smooth and it was with difficulty that he restrained an urge to go game faced and tear off Engstrom's nose. "Whaddya want?" he virtually snapped.

"What weapons are you carrying?" Dutch asked.

"Weapons", Spike frowned, "Fangs and claws, fists and feet, what else does a Master Vampire need?"

"Shit son", Dutch shook his head, "How in hell have you lived this long?" He unbuttoned his waistcoat and drew out an old but clean Colt M1911 semi automatic from a shoulder holster. "Welcome to America", he said with a straight face as he handed the pistol over, "Do ya know how to use one of these?"

"Yes", the blond replied quietly, he pulled the slide back far enough to confirm there was a round chambered then set the pistol on the grass beside him. He had owned similar weapons before, primarily during the two World Wars when the fact of their being numerous armed men on the streets had made it seem a sensible precaution. Even so the last weapon he had actually fired in anger had a flintlock, that had been back in Angelus' gentleman highwayman period. *The wanker could even get that right, it's "your money or your life" not your money _and_*.

Still he thought gently patting the pistol tonight might be different, *Cause of course I know exactly where most of the snipers are which could be quite useful if Pike's plan for a nice little chat goes tits up*.

Continued