One Wild Ride

by John Cope
Buffy/Dusk ‘til Dawn/Wild Bunch Crossover

The Slayerettes waited impatiently,, the beams gave an occasional creak under the weight.

Kate was freaked she knew something must have happened to Seth but couldn't see what, she didn't cry she just sat waiting thinking as she did so *Not again, a father and a brother both lost to vampires, not Seth as well*.

Xander was holding Amy as she sobbed, not able to see her face she was frantic over the wound she'd suffered. Xander had very carefully dabbed the blood away and tried to reassure her with, "It's just a scratch Amy, just a scratch".

Giles though he was in some pain had thoughts racing through his mind, no Wesley, no Faith. *A Slayer and a Watcher fallen, was it worth it, and who will replace Wesley what if they send someone capable of doing the job and Buffy grows to like him?* Then he shook his head knowing that would never happen, somebody else would come from England and find themselves distrusted and despised the Slayer turning to Giles for all advice. If they attempted to assert authority all they would get would be Buffys hatred.

*And how will she rebel next time - with a certain blond vampire, oh dear no*, Giles began to see a solution. *If they send a reliable person I'm going to have to leave Sunnydale, there is no other way". Then he gritted his teeth but not just against the pain from his arm.

Then the Slayer stood below him two-foot of plank in hand. "Hey you guys we should have you down from up there pretty soon".

Looking up Buffy saw the blood on her Slayers hand and flashed back to her dream despite seeing Giles hurt she almost shouted for joy that was the only part of the dream to come true, "How bad is it Giles?"

"Oh my arm, just splinters I think", he smiled. "If you'd let me wear my tweed, I don't think they would have even penetrated".

There had been a fierce argument over what qualified as inconspicious for a hot Californian summer night, a tweed jacket and coat certainly didn't in the Slayerettes opinion and Giles had in the long run given in and worn some of the clothes he'd acquired whilst under the influence of the Band Candy.

"Ok sorry I was wrong", Buffy didn't really think so but hey humor the guy, "But at least we don't have to dial 9.1.1 for a heat exhaustion case".

"Thanks for the sympathy", compared to some of the places he'd been to during his time as an archaeologist California wasn't that warm in Giles opinion. "But I don't think you'll need to bother with this as well its only a flesh wound. How's Seth?"

"I'll go find out", Buffy saw the ladder bearing vampires coming in both looking pissed. "Here comes your ladder".

*And the vampires*, Giles couldn't help but think. "How many got away?"

"Five", Buffy pouted just a little. "Sorry but what could I do?"

"Oh good lord, I wouldn't swap Willow's life for any number of vampires", Giles pushed his glasses back up his nose and frowned at the blood that got on a lense. "But it does illustrate the curious character of Pike most vampires would have just gone for revenge and killed her, he had the sense to negotiate".

"Yeah for him", Buffy got out of the way so Spike could get the ladder up and went to join Willow.

"He's out cold Buffy", Willow didn't look up. "I think the bullet just skimmed the side of his head, but its difficult to tell with this blood".

"Hold on", Buffy ran back to the now in place ladder. "Quick Xander throw me your satchel".

"Step back", she said to the vampires. "There's Holy water in there and I'd hate an accident now".

Catching it neatly and without breakage Buffy tore out one of the bottles and ran back to Willow.

"Thanks", Willow got to work whilst Buffy stood around the casualty, Kate was first down the ladder and came running so Buffy went back to Spike.

"How's he?" she whispered looking towards Angel.

"He's gone all humptie since he saw us together". Spike replied, he was beginning to feel a little woozy, "Had the devil of a job holding him off outside".

"Oh", Buffy made a face. "What or who is a humptie?"

"Gone all humptie, as in he's really pissed off", Spike realized perfectly ordinary London slang terms were useless here. "Look Pet I'm gonna take him with me to the kitchens and see how much blood these blokes we just offed left us".

"Sure", Buffy didn't like how,'Pale', either of the two vamps in her life looked, "And when you come back could you try to speak English?"

"Ho ho", Spike turned towards his Sire who was leaning heavily against the bar. "Hey laughing boy, lets go".

As he passed her Willow had a sudden though. "Spike, where's Harmony?"

"Who?" Spike suddenly grimaced. "She's probably still in the cellar Willow, that's where Angel put her when he'd finished".

"Finished how?" Willow couldn't believe they'd forgotten Harmony. She was confident that Seth was unlikely to die the bullet hadn't penetrated or chipped his skull. "Amy could you take over?"

Amy came reluctantly, she wished Cordelia had been with them, nobody had a mirror.

"Its' fine Amy, its not very big and it should heal", Willow reassured her without being asked, "Now just help Kate with Seth". She turned her attention back to Spike. "What did he do, come on spill".

"He got her real scared, then he got her to drink whiskey then he had sex with her", Spike tried to forget that he'd watched it all and that he'd been the one who snook up behind her with the chloroform. "She was so scared that she didn't resist him, but he didn't bite her or anything that I saw".

"No he just raped her", Willow cursed inwardly. "She's been in that cellar listening to all this and not knowing what the hell is going on for all she knows we lost, Buffy go talk to her".

"Me!", Buffy couldn't believe it. "You think I'd be any use it a situation like this, if you need something slain I'm your girl, but a rape counselor I'm not".

"Ok", Willow had to admit it had been a vain attempt. "Just break down the door and I'll go talk to her, tell her we'll do what we can to help but if she tell's her parents the truth its hello strong psychiatric drugs".

Buffy kicked the door in whilst Spike dragging Angel made himself scarce.

"Have you got a crucifix?" Willow asked, "It might reassure her and just in case", Willow pulled her Grrrhh face.

"Here I go then", and with that Willow went down the dark stairs.

Buffy turned to see Xander standing looking down at Faith, she moved behind him and put her hand on his shoulder, "Hey Xander are you okay".

"Huh", Xander didn't know what to say at first but then, "I don't know, I mean no more sexual battery followed by offers of a good time if I forgive her, no more gibes on my masculinity, no more threats. But still she was my first still I remember a time when I kinda liked her, there's something I have to do. Buffy go help Giles".

Puzzled Buffy walked away, she snook a look back and saw Xander kneel and saw him first pick a few feathers from the girls long dark hair and then gently close Faith's eyes. Feeling like a snooper, Buffy went to check on Giles who was standing mentally counting the dust piles. "Giles, let me see your arm".

Wearing a long sleeved black shirt the Watcher attempted to roll it up past the wound, "I'm afraid that might prove difficult".

"Here", taking a grip Buffy ripped the material right up to the shoulder, "See it's easy".

"Thank you so much, Nurse Buffy", her Watcher replied. "I'm so glad I didn't wear anything I actually liked".

*He likes tweed!*, Buffy looked at Giles arm it was peppered but it didn't look too bad, most of the fragments were just under the skin. "When did you last get a tetanus shot?"

"Last year", Giles was always having to badger Buffy about that kind of thing and wasn't about to give her a chance for revenge, though of course Buffy couldn't help being scared of hospitals. "The first aid kit's in the van".

First aid kit was an understatement, they had enough bandages to start a field trauma unit, "Ok I'll get Xander to go bring it round".

Tearing the sleeve of completely Buffy considered wrapping the torn and bloody rag round the wound, then changed her mind.

"We have to book real soon", Buffy had something she had to say though, "tomorrow get me the names and phone numbers of all the members of the Watchers Council".

"Buffy", Giles looked at her not liking the expression on her face, he knew 'the look' when he saw it. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to tell them each and everyone that this is my town, so no other Slayer comes here whilst I live", then her tone softened. "Also I'm gonna say they can save on air fare I have a Watcher and I won't take orders from anyone else, not that I'm gonna take orders from you, if they do send a replacement for Wesley, I quit and we slay freelance".

"Would you really do that for me? I'm quite moved Buffy", Giles held out his hand to her. "There‘d be some risk as you remember from after Fitch died they do have some enforcement capabilities".

"Take a look around Giles we just killed over sixty vampires in one night", the look was back again. "I don't think they'll mess with me". She gently shook on the deal, "But you report to them first, see how it goes huh?"

"And if it doesn't I unleash you on them", Giles smiled at the thought, "Anyway 'booking' I believe was an expressed priority".

"See already here you are with the orders". Buffy went off to round up Xander he could grieve for Faith, *Not like that will take long once the shock wears off*, later.

Kate saw it first a flicker in Seth's eyelids, "Come on honey, come back to me", she said gently touching his shoulder. His eyes opened fully.

"If we can get you to a hospital, you'll be ok", Amy was out of her depth Willow was more the expert at healing than she was.

"Seth arrives at a hospital with a gunshot wound and he's Texas bound within a month", Kate shook her head, "He's gonna have to get well under his own steam".

The bank robber grinned his girl had the smarts, she would take care of him.


Joyce sat staring at the clock on her mantelpiece willing it to go back, just under an hour to go. why hadn't Buffy rung yet?

*Don't let me down Buffy Summers, I didn't raise you to be the Slayer but I didn't raise you to fail. Your strong you have friends who would die with you...*

"What am I gonna tell the Rosenbergs and the Harrises, what am I gonna tell Hank!"

Then she looked at the stake on the table before her, by the time she had finished everyone would know about vampires and though at first they might blame her or Buffy eventually they would all be proud of their children. Hank already was though he had no conception of how brave a girl his daughter was.

"Buffy I want you here, not as a statue on main street, come on call".


In the Kitchen Spike was rooting in the ice in the bottom of the large freezer, he had a small pile of blood bags out on the floor he and Angel had both had two each and were feeling better.

"What a bunch of greedy bastards, I was hoping to get a months supply from here", Spike found another and added it to the pile. "Still free claret's free claret, shouldn't be looking a gift horse in the mouth".

"Claret", Angel snorted. "How long is it since you spent any time in London, and here you are still talking the talk. I'm amazed you don't hit me with the cockney rhyming slang".

*A punch up the throat is what your gonna get, you tosser*, Spike didn't look up from his task. "I'm from the wrong side of the river to be a cockney, you berk, not like your geography ever was any bloody good. I'm surprised you found America. And at least I kept my accent unlike you", he put on a bad Galaway, "Are to be sure and top o the morning to ya".

"I don't have any good memories of Ireland, I killed too many people there".

"Yeah, expelled from Trinity for dueling as I recall from the research I had Dalton do", Spike smiled as he found another bag he knew what Angel really meant but couldn't resist. "Near bleeding impossibility in your day, you bloody lot were even worse than ours for shooting each other in 'affairs of honor', bloody toff's didn't know you were born able to afford an education and what did you do, eh, threw it away for your pride".

"Fuck you Spike", Angel gave the blondes back the finger. "I didn't take insults then and I won't now, you talk as if your hands were clean".

"That was business mate", Spike though back to his pre vampiric killings a couple of blokes who'd tried to steal his loot and a pimp he'd had a personal grievance With. "Not idle leisure, you always claimed to have saved me from the hangman, but I doubt that you wouldn't have gone the same way sooner or later".

"I bet you were so glad to see the back of me", Angel didn't want to be stuck here reminiscing with his childe but at the same time the Slayerettes had distanced themselves from him since he moved to LA. "Gave you a chance to move in on Dru".

"Eventually, you know you were such a fucking embarrassment to Darla blubbing every five minutes, she was sickened", Spike began to gather his spoils into the cooler he'd found, fourteen bags, he'd have to give the wanker a couple to complete his recovery but still, "But she didn't go after the Master straight away you know, she stayed to find comfort in my manly arms, I loved Dru but Darla had been there for over 100 years more or less unobtainable and anyway Dru liked her too, so for three weeks we had a real old party".

"Least I got there first". Angel smiled at his Childe's momentary discomfort, "Like I always did".

"Sure", Spike shrugged it off. "Buffy included and eventually they all get sick of moody old you and turn to nice mild mannered old me, face it baby you just can't keep a woman".

"You're not gonna have Buffy". Angel felt the demon start to rise again but suppressed it. "What's Harmony gonna tell her about you, bet that's got you worried".

"We all have stuff we wish we'd done different, I've had to watch you rape girls you could have had easy with a bit of effort don't forget, and seen you drive others mad", the vampire reached for a cigarette, *In the coat, damn.* "I did what I thought I had to do and I helped save her life same as you".

"Every time she looks into the night time shadows, who's she gonna see". Angel had destroyed too many lives to get much comfort from saving one.

"So we tell her what we are and that there's always hope", Spike looked is Sire levelly in the eye. "If killers like us can change, then there's hope, isn't there?"


Willow carefully walked down the cellar stairs wishing that she could find the light switch, she couldn't hear anything in the darkness ahead and was left nervous by the fact she'd expected to hear breathing. Her left hand brushed the wall whilst her right clutched the crucifix hard.

Then she heard it a very gently sobbing like someone who had become exhausted with it then a voice she hardly recognized cried out, "Angel is that you, please can I have the light on, I'm scared in here, Angel what was the noise about?"

*Angel*, Willow thought, *Harmony doesn't know...oh yeah the Mexican guy*.

"Angel! Please I'll do whatever you want, please can I have the light on".

*Oh Goddess*, Willow spoke gently, "Harmony its Willow, Willow Rosenberg, I've come to get you to take you home".

"Willow", Harmony's voice sounded hopeful then she shouted. "Don't fucking lie to me, your one of them they turned you", then the shouts turned to a whimper. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to shout like that, don't hurt me, please".

*Damn where's the light switch?* Willow didn't want to wander round in the dark with a girl who thought she was a vampire then she found it, "There you are Harmony there's the...light".

Her face was streaked with tears and smeared make up, a pool of vomit inches from where she was sat showed the effect of the whiskey, she was tied to a pipe that ran down the wall her dress was on and not torn but stained by puke and other stuff Willow didn't want to think about.

"Keep away from me", Harmony screamed. "Angel will hurt you if you touch me, I'm his girl", then the whimper came again, "I am still his girl, aren't I?"

"Harmony, look at me", Willow brought the cross up to her lips and kissed it. "See Harmony crosses hurt vampires, I'm not a vampire, we killed them all so no your not Angel's girl anymore".

Harmony just stared at her as Willow drew nearer, "Harmony would you like to hold this cross, it might make you feel better". The witch felt bad about the lie's she had to tell but Pike had said he wasn't coming back whilst Buffy lived *and by the time Buffy dies (please goddess let it be of old age) Angel will have forgotten Harmony*. "Please Harmony take it".

Reaching out her free hand Harmony took the cross and held it just staring at it. There was no smoke, Willow sighed and turned to the girls tied left hand the vampire had at least put cloth beneath the rope to stop it cutting harmony's wrist. *Bastard probably didn't want his trophy marked*.

"So Buffy came for me", Harmony whispered, "I never thought she would, he scared me so badly that I wanted to die, I still wish I could".

"Shush", Willow not paying any attention to the state of Harmony's clothes pulled her close and gently stroked the girls hair, "It'll be ok we'll get you counseling and we'll all be there for you, Cordy especially you'll see".

"Cordy, I have to tell her about this", Harmony began to cry again. "I'm going to have to tell my parents too , why couldn't you have left me to die? With them, none of this would have mattered, Angel told me so. He made me drink and he threatened to make me do it with all those others if I didn't do it with him, how am I ever gonna forget that, I wish you'd let me die".

"What I'm gonna say may seem harsh", Willow held the girl tighter. "You aren't going to die after what we did, we fought a battle with those vampires, two people died tonight for you. Harmony don't let them have died in vain".

Willow pulled back a little and looked the girl in the eye, "You're going to have to lie to your parents and to the cops, tell them you went to LA and stayed there overnight, you tell them about the vampires and they'll think your crazy, you tell them you were raped and make up a description then the cops will pin it on some guy who'll spend the rest of his life imprisoned for something he didn't do".

"But..", Harmony began, then the tears really started to flow.

"Shusssh", Willow held her gently and rocked her like a child, "You'll be ok, we'll do everything we can for you, you can talk to me anytime you like".

*Well that's the new hard drive I've been saving for gone, I'll have to help out with the Concealing cost*. Willow didn't know what the Watchers Council medical plan was like but she figured like the dental it would suck.


The two vampires not exactly scowling at each other anymore emerged to find Seth alive but still too stunned to speak and Buffy doing her Florence Nightingale impression, putting far too much dressing on Giles wound. Xander was sat staring at nothing on one of the few remaining dust and bullet hole free chairs.

"What's his problem?" Spike quietly asked the dark haired vamp.

"Faith was his girl", Angel sighed, "But only very briefly".

"Was she his first?" Spike was only half interested, he picked up his coat and examined the holes, *Oh well it'll give it a bit more character anyway*. "Cause that would be tough whatever happened later".

"Yeah, she was". Angel wasn't going to miss Faith or Wesley, but he had to admire the way the Slayer had fought at the end despite everything she had died true to her calling. *Goodbye Faith whatever else you were you were brave*.

He turned to see Spike looking at him, "You didn't shag her as well, did you?"

"No!", disgusted Angel walked off he needed to get away from his Childe before he throttled him.

Spike lit up a cigarette and breathed in the nicotine, *That's better, good old nosh up and a fag, or as I better get used to saying 'a nice meal and a smoke'. Yanks, they can't even speak English*.

"Hey Cancer Vamp", Spike jumped, he hadn't heard Buffy sneak up on him, "Whaddya doing?"

"Smoking Pet", Spike inhaled deeply, "Then I'm gonna help you tidy up our weapons, we'd better go soon".

Bending down he picked up the .45 it was a well preserved old piece but he didn't want it, "How many lives do you suppose this old things taken, too many". Using all his strength he threw it towards the truck.

"Let's get the shotguns".

"Are you alright Xander?" feeling rather like an Egyptian mummy Giles sat down beside the teen.

"I don't know, Faith wasn't exactly someone I liked but I feel bad about her dying".

"I feel like I failed her", Giles straightened his glasses. "Not so much in how she died but in the way things went on here after she arrived, we never really tried to accept her. With the life she'd led she naturally wouldn't fit into our nice cosy middle class world".

"You know for once you took a lot of words to make a lot of sense", Xander stood up time to get on with stuff. "We were Buffy's friends not hers, so I guess we made it hard for her, doesn't excuse the stuff she did though".

Xander went to get his water squirter. Giles sat a little longer, *Nobody mentions Wesley I notice, still somebody's going to have to write an obituary for the poor chap, hope to god they don't ask me*.

Willow brought Harmony up from the cellar the girl had stopped crying but she clung to the witch, "Come on Harmony, here we are you see all the vampires gone".

"No". Harmony whispered staring at Spike.

"Oh Spikes on our side, he's a good vampire", Willow tried to sound positive but maybe it didn't come out like that as Harmony started to try to break free.

"He was here watching it I saw him!".

"Harmony please", Willow struggled to control her, Buffy ran over and Willow tightened her grip afraid Buffy might slap the hysterical girl.

"Harmony its ok, I wouldn't let anyone hurt you", Buffy wrapped her arms round the two girls."Spike was working here undercover, I'm sorry he couldn't help you on his own".

*I'm so fucking glad I resisted the urge to have a wank while I was watching Angel shag her*, an increasingly guilty vampire thought as he walked reluctantly over. "Hullo luv, I'm a good guy like the girls say", he smiled as inspiration hit him, "Like the Forever Knight on the Telly, fraid there wasn't much I could do against 70 vampires on my own Kitten, but you're safe now".

"The Forever Knight?" Harmony whispered burying her face in Willows hair as the red head led her away.

"The Forever Knight!" Buffy stared at him, "You don't watch that, do you?"

"No Pet but Dru liked it and so apparently does my Sire", he smiled. "But I think it worked didn't it". He looked round, "Right Slayer lets get Seth in the van and we can get the fuck out of here".

"We need to move our dead too, don't forget", Buffy went over towards Kate and Amy as a plan formed in Spikes mind he picked up his cooler and moved it nearer the door, that would go in the DeSoto then he looked down at Wesley. "I'll be back for you old son don't fret".

Buffy and Kate got Seth to his feet, he reeled a little drunkenly but the Slayer held him up. "How you doing buster?" she asked him as she steered him forward.

"I got a fucking hell of a headache", Seth felt his feet moving but didn't know how. "Did we get the motherfuckers?"

"Most of them yes, but we had to let Pike, Dutch, Angel and three others go",Buffy felt the robber tense, "It was that or see Willow die".

"You did good then", Despite her Texas Ranger Site surfing activities Seth wouldn't have swopped Willow for any number of vamps. "I'll just mosey back down south and kill a few more of his boys before he gets home".

"Only if I can come with", Kate was glad that Buffy was taking most of the weight. "I'm not letting you go again".

"Ok kid, if that's the way you want it", to tired to argue Seth surrendered.

"Slayage, here we come", Kate laughed glad to have got her way.

"Well mate we were never introduced but you're coming with me", having given Angel two more bags of blood and the rest safely stashed Spike was back with Wesley. He grabbed hold of the dead Watchers legs and began to drag him out of the building.

Xander and Amy had just carried the ladder out, the school caretakers would miss it in the morning otherwise, the teens were appalled at how casual Spike was acting, *The dudes actually whistling*. "Im not gonna let him do that with Faith".

"Ok", Amy replied, she felt sad that Xander should have to do this, she had Sabrina and rat jibes from Faith till she was sick of them but now the girl was dead. "You want me to help?"

"She wasn't that heavy", passing the vampire and not looking at the bullet torn body he dragged Xander went back in.

Bending down he gently picked Faith up, struggling at first but eventually getting a good grip he carried her out and laid her down a few yards from the door, "There you go, rest easy. Soon the cops will get here and take you away from all this".

"It doesn't have to be like this you know", Spike whispered to Buffy. "It doesn't have to be over for her, I can bring her back".

*He's offering immortality for all my friends, Faith could have another chance to do things right, Willow would have her soul back before she even rose*, Buffy pictured herself surrounded by a growing clan of vampires as Spike made sure no one she loved stayed dead for long. *And what about me*.

"No", she snapped the word. "Would you do the same to me when my time comes, when I die will you be able to bear to give me up to death? I told you once already I won't be a vampire ever, With a soul or not. I'd walk into the sun the day I rose rather than let that happen".

*And you'd be a very pissed off vampire*, Spike thought knowing the legends of his own people and the powers turned Slayers possessed, but he didn't say anything to Buffy about that. "I just wanted to help you Pet, I'm sorry if I upset you".

Xander had heard enough of what was said to get the gist of the vampires offer he walked up to Spike, Super Squirter in hand. "If you touch Faith, so help me I'll burn you down", he pointed the weapon straight at Spikes face.

"My my boy haven't you grown a pair since last we met", Spike flicked ash in Xander's general direction. "I take it you don't want her back then".

"You say another word to me and there'll be one more dead vamp here". Xander tensed to pull the trigger but then had the gun knocked from his hands.

"Hey!", Buffy shouted at him. "You got reason to be pissed Xander but we so don't have time for this, get in the van and drive everyone back round to the cars".

Taking out a crossbow Xander loaded it. "I'm staying here to make sure none of those wild dogs we hear so much about disturbs out dead".

Amy got out of the van, "I'll stay too", she sent Buffy a please don't argue I'll take care of him look.

"Ok", Buffy was too tired to think about knocking Xander out, "Hide well, leave the crossbow somewhere safe once the cops get here and fade away then".

"Angel you fit to drive?" The dark haired vamp was brooding away to the side of them.

"Yeah I'll take the van, what are you two gonna do?"

"Burn this place".


Buffy and Spike walked across the car park the Roadhouse roaring behind them, shots cracked out every time the fire swept over a gun or the contents of a bandoleer. "You know I think the fire department might have a problem there", Spike said picking up a hubcap.

"They'll keep out till the fire dies down, there's no one in there remember?" Buffy glanced back, "Pity about your rig".

"We'll Pet its getting a Viking funeral", Spike was a little misty about it but really trucking wasn't a suitable career for a vampire.

Getting to the car Buffy went to the drive side door, "Ok mister give me the keys".

"Keys Slayer, you're expecting me to let you drive my motor?" Spike shook his head, "No way luv".

"That's nice, here you are wounded, weakened, your reactions slowed and you want to risk my life by driving me", she held her hand out. "Keys".

"N-O, spells no", the vampire looked resolute burning building and impending authorities forgotten. "I'm perfectly alright now and I'm driving".

Opening the door Buffy look inside then came out again holding the belt. "Hey, where did you get this?"

"Off a vamp who was gonna use it on my face", Spike looked puzzled as the Slayer unreeled the belt and lashed it through the air. "And what do you intend doing with that thing".

Buffy walked round and bending over examined the paintwork on the front of the De Soto. "How about if I say that should I add a single dent or scratch to your car you can use this to whup me till I holler?"

Spike looked at the bending Slayer, he suddenly felt in no state to drive quickly he handed her the keys and took the belt. "It's a deal Kitten, lets go".

"I win", the Slayer bounced round the car and got in and took her first look through the stained front window. "Tell me you didn't do this yourself".

Spike smirked and gently tapped the doubled length of heavy leather on the palm of his hand, "Course I did Slayer, good job a Slayer's eyesight is as good as vampires eh?"

"You know, I have a really low tolerance for pain", Buffy said as she started the engine and engaged first gear. "You'd be amazed how quickly I holler".

"Welcher", Spike realized he'd made a dreadful error, he should have specified the number of strokes.

"Ha", With that Buffy set of for the gate, Xander and Amy were so well hidden she didn't see a sign of them.

They were half a mile down the road before they passed the first cop car, "Oh fuck", the Slayer suddenly said.

Spike was startled from an idle fantasy about Buffys naked bottom, "Eh what Pet?"

"We need a phone, stat. If I don't call my Mom within half an hour she is gonna seriously embarrass herself.