Ira Hoftstedter

"Ira Hoftstedter died."

"Who's Ira Hoftstedter?"

"Ira Hoftstedter. You know Ira Hoftstedter. He ran the bowling league on Tuesdays."

"That was Mort Inglehoffer."

"I thought Mort Inglehoffer played bridge with Marge Schietz."

"You're thinking of Bert Ingleson, not Mort Inglehoffer."

"Then who plays with Peggy Liebrichson?"

"Marv Ogleburger."

"Gemma Ogleburger is in the hospital, you know. Sciatica. I wonder if she saw Ira Hoftstedter."

"Gemma Ogleburger went blind when she had that thing. What was it called?"

"Some unpronounceable thrombosis. You know who's a good trombonist? Irv Slessinger."

"Irv Slessinger wouldn't know a good trombonist if one honked in his face."

"I like a good trombonist."

"Then you don't like Irv Slessinger. Russ Norton - now there's a good trombonist, and not too bad on the tuba, either."

"Know who else plays the tuba? Randall Newmeir plays the tuba."

"Artie Newmeir's kid? Wasn't he in a band at one time? They played the club for the Crandell's fiftieth."

"You mean the Crawford's fifteenth? Still can't believe that Howard married that hussy."

"Who played in the band with him? Jimmy Schmidt, Carl Dosenberg, and one other fella."

"Wasn't it Ira Hoftstedter?"

"Ira Hoftstedter. Yeah, that's it. You know, I heard he died."