Finding Strength in Coffee


Superman theorists debated about the Man of Steel from the scientific to the philosophical to the mundane. How far can he fly in the universe? Does liquid nitrogen effect him?   Was his anatomy the same as humans?   Could he really be considered a Caucasian? What religion does he follow?   Does he need to wear deodorant?   Who was his stylist? 

The most recent topic listed in the Superman Round Up - a page devoted entirely to him in the Sunday edition of the Daily Planet - was: does Superman sleep? 

From Lex's experience, the answer was yes, like a log, who stole the covers and sleep-floated at least once a month. 

Lex sat at the island in the white farmhouse kitchen, a cup of coffee cradled in his hands and a half-eaten bagel on a green Fiestaware plate at his elbow. The Daily Planet was spread open in front of him on the white marble countertop. Morning sunlight shone through the bay windows, highlighting the chrome and black accents in the room. 

Dressed in Sunday casual, pressed charcoal trousers and a royal purple v-neck cashmere sweater, Lex shifted on the black stool and continue to peruse that morning's paper.   He snorted softly at the argument against Superman sleeping, citing cases where the hero appeared at different times in different parts of the globe. If Superman slept, he wouldn't have been able to help with tsunami rescue efforts in Indonesia. 

"More like: if it weren't for coffee," Lex corrected. The reason why Superman wore red briefs on the outside of his uniform had nothing to do with Kryptonian style. Early morning calls for heroics led to many sartorial dismays before Lex bought numerous percolators and set them to make fresh coffee every hour throughout the night. Coffee was Superman's lifeblood. If the coffee companies were to find out, the stock Lex had invested would soar. 

Footsteps coming down the stairs distracted Lex from penciling a Cafe Juan endorsement deal in the margins of the paper. ("Finding strength in coffee!" would be the new catchphrase.) Clark shuffled into the kitchen, wearing a faded blue flannel robe, cherry red boxers, and slippers worn at the seams.   His hair stood up in devil's horns.   Bleary eyed, Clark poured coffee into a waiting mug and took several deep gulps of the hot brew. 

"Morning," Lex said. 

Clark grunted a general acknowledgment, refilled his mug to the brim, and came to Lex's side of the island. Lex received a kiss on the top of his bald head as Clark took the comics section of the paper before leaving the room. 

Lex wondered what the theorists would say about Clark's fondness for Peanuts