Clark thought maybe he'd hit Lex one too many times on the
"Unhand me, you brute." Lex pounded ineffectually on Clark's shoulder, as Clark
swooped through the air. "How
dare you be so presumptuous with my person?"
Landing on the balcony of Lex's penthouse, Clark set Lex
down and x-rayed his head. No dents
or cracks that Clark could see. Maybe
he bruised Lex's brain?
"Be gone! Rapacious
rapscallions such as yourself are improper companions for a gentleman."
Lex smoothed his sooty jacket and straightened his tie.
"I shall take my leave, now. Good
evening." Executing a short
bow, Lex went inside, leaving Clark alone on the balcony.
The fall wind whipped Clark's red cape around his ankles,
as he stared after Lex. Now, he
knew he'd hit Lex too hard. Lex
hadn't dragged him inside for their usual bout of I'm-sorry-I-tried-to-kill-you/I'm-sorry-I-destroyed-your-new-toy-again
sex. Lex would usually be using
Clark like a pogo-stick two heartbeats after they'd landed. He'd taken to wearing a butt plug on the nights he tried out
his newest death ray or anti-matter gun, to be stretched and ready for a really
Maybe this was Lex's way of calling things off?
Clark's shoulders slumped in dejection.
Sex with Lex was always the highlight of his week.
Not getting laid regularly would be a real bummer.
He hoped for brain damage, because that could be overcome, whereas if Lex
just didn't want him anymore…
Clark walked to the balcony rail and threw himself over the
edge. It was too depressing to
think about. Hopefully tomorrow Lex
would try to kill Clark again and then jump his bones, and everything would be
back to normal.
Weeks passed with no particle bombs or kryptonite laser
beams calling Clark out for a date. He
sighed despondently and pecked at his keyboard, while the Daily Planet
bullpen buzzed around him. He
wavered between depression and irritability.
Not getting any would do that to a man.
The phone rang at his desk and he answered it with a
mumbled, "Kent speaking."
"Come to the penthouse right now."
Mercy hung up before Clark could respond to her order.
Worry threaded between the weave of dejection shrouding Clark and he hurried to the roof and changed clothes. Was Lex all right? Could he really have brain damage? Or maybe it was a booty call.The bulge in Superman's shorts became more prominent and he streaked through the city to Lex's place.
Mercy was standing on the balcony, looking as scary as
usual. She grabbed Clark by the
collar and dragged him into the penthouse.
"The boss has gone insane again," Mercy said, her words clipped
with tension. She hauled him past
Hope, standing in the hall with a grim expression.
"We expect you to fix it."
"Me?" Clark blinked at the back of her head.
He'd thought she and Hope hated him.
"Don't worry, we still hate you," Mercy said,
freaking him out with her mind-reading mojo.
"But the boss's life is on the line."
"One more 'prithee' out of his mouth and I'll shoot
him." Mercy opened Lex's
bedroom door and shoved Clark inside. "Fuck
him back to normal."
The door slammed and Clark heard a lock engage from
"How dare you enter my boudoir without
permission?" Lex rose from the
bed, clutching closed the neck of what looked like a royal purple dressing gown.
"It is simply scandalous!"
Lex's calves and feet were exposed.
Clark hardened fully just from seeing the hint of bared flesh.
He really needed to get laid. "Hope
and Mercy told me to come," he said, quite literally.
Lex's nose wrinkled cutely.
"Those obstinate handmaids. They
refuse to assist me in bathing and dressing!
I have released them from my employ many-a times, but as yet they have
Clark closed the distance between them in three large steps
and licked his lips. "I can
help you bathe."
Lex's eyes widened and he backed away until his knees hit
the edge of the bed. "Salacious
scoundrel! It is improper for a man
to lay his hands upon my flesh until after we are wed!"
It sounded as if Lex had swallowed a Victorian romance
novel, a badly written one—wait, wed?
hands stopped halfway to grabbing Lex. "Like
Lex nodded primly and stuck his nose in the air.
"I shall not have my virtue sullied by an uncouth cad such as
"But I sully it all the time."
Clark frowned. "I thought you liked having sex with me."
Lex's cheeks pinked and he flapped a hand at Clark.
"Do not say such a thing! I
would never allow my virginity to be taken out of wedlock!"
Clark gaped like a fish.
Prostitutes were more virginal than Lex. Mercy was right: Lex had gone insane again, and Clark was to
blame. He'd definitely hit Lex one
too many times on the head.
"I insist that you depart before my good name is
besmirched any further."
"I'm sorry, Lex, I can't do that."
Clark was never one to force himself on someone who didn't want it, but
this was an emergency. He snaked an
arm around Lex's waist and hauled him up against Clark's body.
"This is for your own good," he said, and kissed Lex.
Lex squeaked against Clark's mouth and pounded his fists on
Clark's shoulders. Clark kept his
mouth pressed against Lex's, holding him firmly with one hand cupped behind his
head. He slipped his tongue out to
lick along the seam of Lex's lips. Lex
shivered, which was a very good sign.
Lex's entire face and head were flushed when Clark pulled
back. "I cannot be swept up in
passion by you," he said in a breathy voice.
"Yes, you can," Clark said, and began mouthing
wet kisses down the side of Lex's neck. Lex
shuddered in his arms when he sucked at a particularly sensitive spot.
"I shall not permit you to plunder my depths with your
Clark bit down on Lex's shoulder to prevent laughter from escaping. Lex bucked against him, revealing that he was as aroused as Clark. Clark laved his tongue over the bite, and then painted a trail up to Lex's ear. "And if I choose to ravish the bounty I hold in my arms?" he purred against the shell, deciding to give insanity a try, to see if it would allow him to score.Lex's breathing quickened and Clark could hear his blood racing through his veins. "It is improper."
"Hmm." Clark slid down to his knees. Lex's erection peeked out from the folds of his dressing gown and Clark paused to admire the view before taking Lex into his mouth.Lex gasped and grabbed fistfuls of Clark's hair. His hips jerked forward and the head of his cock jabbed the back of Clark's throat. Clark exhaled heavily through his nose, planted his hands on Lex's ass, and swallowed around Lex. His lips stretched wide, whitening at the edges. His tongue stroked repeatedly against the underside of Lex's shaft.
Lex gurgled wordlessly as Clark nursed from his cock.
Clark watched past his eyelashes as Lex tossed his head from
side-to-side. When Clark loosened
his hold on Lex's ass, Lex began bouncing against Clark's face, tickling Clark's
nose with his public hair. Clark
opened his throat and let Lex thrust in and out of his mouth.
It wasn't long before Lex came with a whoosh of
breath and a shudder. He sat
abruptly on the bed when he was done, chest heaving.
Clark smacked his lips, licking up the stray droplets of come that had
escaped his mouth. He eyed the
shadowed vee of Lex's parted legs in front of him.
"I am aghast that I have succumbed to your lubricious
lasciviousness," Lex said, clenched the top of his dressing gown
shut again. His sex-flushed
features made him more alluring. "My
wantonness is abhorrent."
"Your wantonness is perfect."
Clark pushed Lex backwards onto the bed, lifted creamy legs up and open,
and buried his face between Lex's nether cheeks.
Within moments, Lex was mewling loudly and writhing on Clark's tongue.
Clark made obscene wet sounds and used his fingers until
Lex's body was begging for him more than Lex's mouth. In a rush, he stripped of his Superman costume, broke the
nightstand drawer retrieving the lube, and messily slathered himself.
His manly fortitude was about to shoot.
Tumbling onto the bed, he manhandled Lex astride him and
poked his cock into Lex's hole. Lex
yelped as Clark pulled him down onto his lap.
"You beast!" he exclaimed, scratching Clark's chest.
Clark held Lex still.
It felt like a vice was clamped around his cock.
"Relax, he says!" Lex said.
"Pray tell, how am I to do that while skewered by your throbbing
Clark bit the inside of his cheek, fighting laughter again.
He stroked Lex's sides, arranging the dressing gown around them.
"Your body will remember what your mind obviously forgot, what with
the insanity and all."
"I shall not forgive you for thieving my
virginity." Lex's pressed the
back of his hand to his forehead in despair.
"Whoever will ask for my hand now that I have been despoiled?"
"I will," Clark said, in hopes that it would get
Lex relax and start moving before his balls burst.
eyes started glistening like a Disney cartoon.
"Yes, please, marry me, anything, just move."
Clark Kent and Alexander Luthor were wed in a private
ceremony at Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel: Victorian Chapel, Las Vegas, NV, on
Thursday. Mr. Luthor's bodyguards
declined reporters' interviews, but Mr. Kent was overheard saying to a
harried-looking Lois Lane, "He may have hit on the head one too many times,
but he can ride me like a pony, so I don't care."