Thieving Virginity

Clark thought maybe he'd hit Lex one too many times on the head. 

"Unhand me, you brute."  Lex pounded ineffectually on Clark's shoulder, as Clark swooped through the air.  "How dare you be so presumptuous with my person?" 

Landing on the balcony of Lex's penthouse, Clark set Lex down and x-rayed his head.  No dents or cracks that Clark could see.  Maybe he bruised Lex's brain? 

"Be gone!  Rapacious rapscallions such as yourself are improper companions for a gentleman."  Lex smoothed his sooty jacket and straightened his tie.  "I shall take my leave, now.  Good evening."  Executing a short bow, Lex went inside, leaving Clark alone on the balcony. 

The fall wind whipped Clark's red cape around his ankles, as he stared after Lex.  Now, he knew he'd hit Lex too hard.  Lex hadn't dragged him inside for their usual bout of I'm-sorry-I-tried-to-kill-you/I'm-sorry-I-destroyed-your-new-toy-again sex.  Lex would usually be using Clark like a pogo-stick two heartbeats after they'd landed.  He'd taken to wearing a butt plug on the nights he tried out his newest death ray or anti-matter gun, to be stretched and ready for a really good fuck. 

Maybe this was Lex's way of calling things off?  Clark's shoulders slumped in dejection.  Sex with Lex was always the highlight of his week.  Not getting laid regularly would be a real bummer.  He hoped for brain damage, because that could be overcome, whereas if Lex just didn't want him anymore… 

Clark walked to the balcony rail and threw himself over the edge.  It was too depressing to think about.  Hopefully tomorrow Lex would try to kill Clark again and then jump his bones, and everything would be back to normal. 

Weeks passed with no particle bombs or kryptonite laser beams calling Clark out for a date.  He sighed despondently and pecked at his keyboard, while the Daily Planet bullpen buzzed around him.  He wavered between depression and irritability.  Not getting any would do that to a man. 

The phone rang at his desk and he answered it with a mumbled, "Kent speaking." 

"Come to the penthouse right now."  Mercy hung up before Clark could respond to her order. 

Worry threaded between the weave of dejection shrouding Clark and he hurried to the roof and changed clothes.  Was Lex all right?  Could he really have brain damage?  Or maybe it was a booty call. 

Mercy was standing on the balcony, looking as scary as usual.  She grabbed Clark by the collar and dragged him into the penthouse.  "The boss has gone insane again," Mercy said, her words clipped with tension.  She hauled him past Hope, standing in the hall with a grim expression.  "We expect you to fix it." 

"Me?" Clark blinked at the back of her head.  He'd thought she and Hope hated him. 

"Don't worry, we still hate you," Mercy said, freaking him out with her mind-reading mojo.  "But the boss's life is on the line." 

"It is?" 

"One more 'prithee' out of his mouth and I'll shoot him."  Mercy opened Lex's bedroom door and shoved Clark inside.  "Fuck him back to normal." 

The door slammed and Clark heard a lock engage from outside. 

"How dare you enter my boudoir without permission?"  Lex rose from the bed, clutching closed the neck of what looked like a royal purple dressing gown.  "It is simply scandalous!" 

Lex's calves and feet were exposed.  Clark hardened fully just from seeing the hint of bared flesh.  He really needed to get laid.  "Hope and Mercy told me to come," he said, quite literally. 

Lex's nose wrinkled cutely.  "Those obstinate handmaids.  They refuse to assist me in bathing and dressing!  I have released them from my employ many-a times, but as yet they have not departed." 

Clark closed the distance between them in three large steps and licked his lips.  "I can help you bathe." 

Lex's eyes widened and he backed away until his knees hit the edge of the bed.  "Salacious scoundrel!  It is improper for a man to lay his hands upon my flesh until after we are wed!" 

It sounded as if Lex had swallowed a Victorian romance novel, a badly written one—wait, wed?   "Wed?"  Clark's hands stopped halfway to grabbing Lex.  "Like married?" 

Lex nodded primly and stuck his nose in the air.  "I shall not have my virtue sullied by an uncouth cad such as yourself." 

"But I sully it all the time."  Clark frowned.  "I thought you liked having sex with me." 

Lex's cheeks pinked and he flapped a hand at Clark.  "Do not say such a thing!  I would never allow my virginity to be taken out of wedlock!" 

Clark gaped like a fish.  Prostitutes were more virginal than Lex.  Mercy was right: Lex had gone insane again, and Clark was to blame.  He'd definitely hit Lex one too many times on the head. 

"I insist that you depart before my good name is besmirched any further." 

"I'm sorry, Lex, I can't do that."  Clark was never one to force himself on someone who didn't want it, but this was an emergency.  He snaked an arm around Lex's waist and hauled him up against Clark's body.  "This is for your own good," he said, and kissed Lex. 

Lex squeaked against Clark's mouth and pounded his fists on Clark's shoulders.  Clark kept his mouth pressed against Lex's, holding him firmly with one hand cupped behind his head.  He slipped his tongue out to lick along the seam of Lex's lips.  Lex shivered, which was a very good sign. 

Lex's entire face and head were flushed when Clark pulled back.  "I cannot be swept up in passion by you," he said in a breathy voice. 

"Yes, you can," Clark said, and began mouthing wet kisses down the side of Lex's neck.  Lex shuddered in his arms when he sucked at a particularly sensitive spot. 

"I shall not permit you to plunder my depths with your manly fortitude." 

Clark bit down on Lex's shoulder to prevent laughter from escaping.  Lex bucked against him, revealing that he was as aroused as Clark.  Clark laved his tongue over the bite, and then painted a trail up to Lex's ear.  "And if I choose to ravish the bounty I hold in my arms?" he purred against the shell, deciding to give insanity a try, to see if it would allow him to score.

"Hmm." Clark slid down to his knees.  Lex's erection peeked out from the folds of his dressing gown and Clark paused to admire the view before taking Lex into his mouth. 

Lex gurgled wordlessly as Clark nursed from his cock.  Clark watched past his eyelashes as Lex tossed his head from side-to-side.  When Clark loosened his hold on Lex's ass, Lex began bouncing against Clark's face, tickling Clark's nose with his public hair.  Clark opened his throat and let Lex thrust in and out of his mouth.  

It wasn't long before Lex came with a whoosh of breath and a shudder.  He sat abruptly on the bed when he was done, chest heaving.  Clark smacked his lips, licking up the stray droplets of come that had escaped his mouth.  He eyed the shadowed vee of Lex's parted legs in front of him.  My turn. 

"I am aghast that I have succumbed to your lubricious lasciviousness," Lex said, clenched the top of his dressing gown shut again.  His sex-flushed features made him more alluring.  "My wantonness is abhorrent." 

"Your wantonness is perfect."  Clark pushed Lex backwards onto the bed, lifted creamy legs up and open, and buried his face between Lex's nether cheeks.  Within moments, Lex was mewling loudly and writhing on Clark's tongue. 

Clark made obscene wet sounds and used his fingers until Lex's body was begging for him more than Lex's mouth.  In a rush, he stripped of his Superman costume, broke the nightstand drawer retrieving the lube, and messily slathered himself.  His manly fortitude was about to shoot. 

Tumbling onto the bed, he manhandled Lex astride him and poked his cock into Lex's hole.  Lex yelped as Clark pulled him down onto his lap.  "You beast!" he exclaimed, scratching Clark's chest. 

Clark held Lex still.  It felt like a vice was clamped around his cock.  "Relax." 

"Relax, he says!" Lex said.  "Pray tell, how am I to do that while skewered by your throbbing manhood?!" 

Clark bit the inside of his cheek, fighting laughter again.  He stroked Lex's sides, arranging the dressing gown around them.  "Your body will remember what your mind obviously forgot, what with the insanity and all." 

"I shall not forgive you for thieving my virginity."  Lex's pressed the back of his hand to his forehead in despair.  "Whoever will ask for my hand now that I have been despoiled?" 

"I will," Clark said, in hopes that it would get Lex relax and start moving before his balls burst.  

"Really?"  Lex's eyes started glistening like a Disney cartoon.  "Would you?" 

"Yes, please, marry me, anything, just move." 

Clark Kent and Alexander Luthor were wed in a private ceremony at Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel: Victorian Chapel, Las Vegas, NV, on Thursday.  Mr. Luthor's bodyguards declined reporters' interviews, but Mr. Kent was overheard saying to a harried-looking Lois Lane, "He may have hit on the head one too many times, but he can ride me like a pony, so I don't care."

End

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