Finale: Let Go


 

“I need you to tell me... tell me it’s okay.”

Sam did not want to tell Dean that it was okay, but he knew it was time. Knew it was what Dean wanted. Knew that someday this was going to end, and that day was now today. As much as he wanted to cling to Dean, to stop this, prevent it, change it like they have again and again, he knew that, if he loved his brother, he would do so. With a choking sob, Sam gave Dean what he wanted.

Sam... let go.

“Dean, it’s okay. You can go now.”

The look of relief in Dean’s eyes broke Sam. Dean said one more goodbye, and then he was gone.

Sam was alone.

It was hard, at first. Breaking the news to their friends; living with the grief each telling evoked anew. Going from job to job, with no one to rely on but himself. Then, he ran into Eileen Leahy again. Sparks flew. Before he knew it, he was married, had a kid, and he was working with Garth as a second Bobby and only going on close-to-home jobs.

Time blinked, and he was at the end. His son was grown. Eileen had already said her goodbyes. Friends and hunter-family predeceased him, and now it was his turn to go. As he lay in the hospice bed set up in their home, his son took his hand and said the words he needed to hear, “Dad, it’s okay. You can go now.”

Sam... let go.

And then Dean was standing in front of him, leaning against Baby, looking the same as he did all those years ago. Except, his smile was brighter, his shoulders were less tense, and there was an air of peace around him. “Hey, Sammy.”

“Dean.” Sam was surprised by his own voice, and glanced at himself at the reflection in Baby’s rear window. He looked young again, around the same age as Dean. “What…?”

Dean chuckled. “Don’t worry. You get used to it. C’mere.” He pushed off Baby and gave Sam a tight hug. “Missed you, brother.”

Sam felt like the last weight that had been on his shoulders finally released, as he hugged back. “Missed you, too. Jerk.”

“Bitch.” Dean released Sam, ruffled his hair, and gestured with chin toward the car. “C’mon. Everyone’s waiting.”

“Everyone who?”

Dean smiled enigmatically in reply and got in the car. Sam could only follow.

The radio in Baby played classic rock. Dean drove them through a winding forest, sunlight dappling through the leafy canopy. Sam wondered whose memory they were in. “There certainly are a lot of trees.”

“There’s a lot of everything up here.”

Sam looked over and grinned at Dean. “Even pie?”

“Especially pie.” Dean brought Baby to a stop. “We’re here.”

“Where’s—” Sam began to say, when he looked out the front window of the car. While his head had been turned, Dean had pulled into a parking lot filled with other vehicles. Sam stared at the building ahead of him in shock. “Harvelle’s Roadhouse! But...”

“Yeah, things are different up here now. Anyone can go anywhere. Thank Jack.” Dean didn’t wait for Sam to respond. He got out of the car and headed for the door. “Now, quit your yapping and let’s go.

Sam shook his head. He had not been expecting this. He stared at the Roadhouse through the windshield. It looked the same as he remembered before it’d burnt down: wood and tin, neon signs, rusting chairs out front. The cars in the lot ranged from modern to vintage, along with motorcycles and a scooter thrown in for variety. He could hear muffled music coming from within the building.

Dean thumped his hand on the hood. “Sammy, stop daydreaming and c’mon.”

Sam shook his head again, got out of the car, and followed Dean to the Roadhouse. Dean grinned at him as if the best secrets awaited before opening the door and ushering him in.

The Roadhouse was packed. People sat at tables, at the bar, and stood around the edges of the room. Lively conversation and the clink of beer bottles underscored the music. A stage Sam didn’t remember lined one side of the Roadhouse. The band was rocking Point of No Return, and Sam double-checked his eyes. “Is that Kansas?”

Dean clapped Sam on the shoulder. “Told you, don’t worry. You get used to it.”

Sam’s brain stuttered, as Dean began winding his way through the tables. “Was it you that said, how long, how long, how long to the point of no return?” Kansas sang, along with several others near the stage. Someone nudged Sam from behind, trying to get into the Roadhouse. “Oh, shit, Sam! You’re here!”

Sam turned, and it was Ash. Behind him was Pamela. They looked the same as when he last saw them in heaven, years ago. Sam was engulfed with hugs from both. “Dude, we knew you were coming, but to see you for real again…” Ash grinned widely. “So, how d’you like heaven now?”

“It’s… different.”

“That’s the best part,” Pamela said. She motioned in the direction Dean had gone. “Looks like Dean is waiting for you.”

Sam turned, and he saw Dean raise his hand in impatience. Sam gave Ash and Pamela nod. “See you guys later?”

Ash clapped him on the shoulder. “Of course. Everyone comes to the Roadhouse.”

As Ash and Pamela wandered off, Sam shook his head in disbelief and began weaving through the tables toward his brother. Voices immediately began calling his name. “Sam!” “Hey, Sam!” “Great to see you again!” Everywhere Sam looked, now that he was paying attention, sat someone he knew from life. Hunters, friends, a few fence sitters. He saw Jody and Donna sitting together. Kevin and his mom. The Ghostfacers. Claire, Charlie, Garth and, to Sam’s happy surprise, Benny. Ellen and Jo were behind the bar.

As he caught up with Dean, he spotted his parents in the corner, along with Adam. His dad looked older, his mom looked young. At the table next to them sat Crowley and Rowena. Crowley raised a beer to Sam. “What the…?” Sam said, and Dean noticed where he was looking.

“Oh yeah. Them. Visitors badges,” Dean explained. “Jack lets them come up from time to time, seeing as how they helped and all.”

Sam now noticed the Visitor labels on Crowley and Rowena’s lapels. “I see.”

“No, you don’t. But like I said, you get used to it.” Dean suddenly lit up, looking at someone behind Sam. “Cas, hey. You made it.”

Sam turned, and Castiel was there, trench coat and all. “Wouldn’t miss it for anything,” Castiel said, and engulfed Sam in a hug. “It’s good to see you again.”

“It’s great to see you, too.” Sam should stop being surprised. “Jack, I take it?”

“Yes.” Castiel motioned around the packed Roadhouse. “It is because of him that we have this. No more walls. No more segregation. Angels, and sometimes demons, along with humans and others. It’s nice.”

“It is nice,” Sam agreed, looking around the Roadhouse once more. On stage, Kansas was now playing No One Together with people singing along. “We're all together, harmony will abound. Look at each other, all that was lost is found.”

“There’s Bobby,” Dean said, pointing to a table. “Take a seat. Cas and I will get beers.”

Dean and Cas headed for the bar. Bobby stood as Sam approached and gave Sam a hug. “’Bout time, ya idjit. Thought you might live to a hundred.”

“I tried. For Dean,” Sam said. “Both of them.”

Bobby clapped him on the back. “Well, sit down. Tell me all about your life. I only peeked in from time to time, to see how you were doing. Eileen, huh? That must’ve been fun.”

“It was.” Sam sat at the table with Bobby and two empty chairs. His heart hitched at the mention of both his son and wife, but it didn’t hurt like he’d expected. It was more like contentment. He knew he’d see them again. It was only a matter of time.

As Sam filled Bobby in on his life, he glanced over at the bar. Dean and Cas stood side-by-side, shoulders touching, heads close together as they talked while waiting for their beers. Dean looked happy. Truly happy. And all the anxiety and worry over if Sam had done the right thing and grief he’d held onto for so long, buried deep inside of him, came bubbling to the top.

And Sam… let go.

Kansas began playing their next song. “Carry on, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don't you cry no more...

 

End